this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2024
323 points (96.8% liked)

Microblog Memes

6017 readers
2066 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] TropicalDingdong 34 points 2 months ago

What do you dip it in? Chicken?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

God looking over at the 'GLOBAL BIBLICAL FLOOD' button on his control board

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He promised to never do that one again.

But he said nothing about a massive gamma ray burst.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Who says he hadn't already done it a few times already, including the one people wrote about? It's not like there would be many survivors to share the story .... and the ones left alive would definitely be told what they could or couldn't commit to history.

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The fossil record? Of course, that could just be a test of our faith...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

If a test of your faith is not rewarded (for punished for your failure) then it was all in your head.

[–] MisterNeon 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd eat it. I would regret it, but I have to know.

[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I would say that a quote from St. Augustine would be appropriate in this situation:

“Not all wonders are natural; many are devised by man’s ingenuity, many by the craft of demons.”

I'm thinking this is a combination of the latter two. Eating it will make you part of the Army of the Damned.

[–] MisterNeon 5 points 2 months ago

I'm more worried about my mortal bowels than my immortal soul if I ate that thing.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I think you're allowed one taste. It's the second taste that consigns your soul to damnation

[–] lolrightythen 3 points 2 months ago

I've earned eternal damnation for less

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why would you regret tasting heaven?

[–] MisterNeon 3 points 2 months ago

Because I'll be dead. My organs will organize against the oppression of my brain and I will die.

[–] ink1ing 11 points 2 months ago

Love how a spy kids 2 quote from Steve Buscemi hit so hard it's still circulating the internet twenty two years later.

[–] ivanafterall 11 points 2 months ago

You worship in your way and let me worship in mine.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (4 children)

What is ranch? I'm English and I don't have a valid frame of reference for the concept of ranch other than large cattle farm.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

A milk/cream based dressing with onion, garlic and dill as the main seasonings, with 4-5 others sprinkled in.

[–] mwproductions 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's basically the American version of salad cream.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

That's an unfair comparison.

For grandparent:

Ranch is mayonnaise-based, but is savory, with seasonings and plenty of umami. There's a lot of variation, and IMO the best version is Uncle Dan's (Amazon).

It's a cream dressing, so plenty heavy. Often used for dipping stuff. With Uncle Dan's (which comes as a powder), you mix it with buttermilk and mayo for a dressing; or you mix it with Greek yoghurt (or sour cream) and mayo for a dip.

[–] mwproductions 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I disagree that's it's an "unfair comparison." It's certainly not a 1:1, but to help someone with absolutely no bearing on what ranch dressing is understand, I think it's a decent shorthand.

It's like if someone from Mexico asked what sriracha is and I replied, "it's like the Thai version of Tapatío." Is it perfect? No, there's way more nuance, but it gets them most of the way toward understanding.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

Fair enough. I'm leery of easy comparisons, because in my mind, they're such radically different things. It's like saying a Wiener Schnitzel is basically like American fried chicken. I mean, I guess? They're both meat, they're both battered and fried. But they're drastically different foods.

Shit, I'll go further: my pet peeve is crème brûlée. It's egg yolk, heavy cream, sugar and vanilla. That's it. But every chef at every restaurant has this compulsion to fuck with the recipe; their crème brûlée has lemon, or strawberry, or sage or cayenne or some shit... just leave the fucking recipe alone! Stop trying to be edgy or special! They always have to fuck with the recipe, and it drives me nuts, because it invariably ruins an already perfect recipe. You add shit to a perfect recipe and it can only get less perfect. So, IMO, my crème brûlée, is not like the crème brûlée at that restaurant: not because I'm some awesome chef, but because crème brûlée is a stupid easy recipe that's almost impossible to screw up... unless you add fucking jalepeño or some such crap.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ranch contains no mayonnaise. It's base is buttermilk

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Uncle Dan's Classic Ranch Dip

Ingredients 1 packet Original Southern Ranch Dressing 2 cups sour cream 2 cups mayonnaise

Uncle Dan's Classic Ranch Dressing

Ingredients 1 packet of Uncle Dan's Classic Ranch 2 Cups Buttermilk 2 Cups Mayonnaise

And if you don't agree that Uncle Dan's is the pinnacle of ranch dressing, here's the first search result recipe for homemade ranch dressing; there are 11 ingredients, but the first three are:

Ingredients ▢ 1/2 cup mayonnaise ▢ 1/2 cup sour cream ▢ 1/2 cup buttermilk or regular milk

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

It's congealed leprechaun jizz.

[–] hardcoreufo -2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

The description in the image sounds pretty tasty. Although I have no idea what buttermilk is

[–] AnUnusualRelic 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm still waiting for deep fried oil.

[–] idunnololz 1 points 2 months ago

Deep fried butter is very close

[–] weariedfae 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's not deep fried ranch dressing. The image clearly states it is fried ranch flavored cream cheese. Fried cheese isn't weird.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Even a sauce breaded and deep-fried isn't that weird; it's basically what a croquette is.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I had it and I liked. Did I feel a little disgusting having it? Yes. But if someone offers you deep fried ranch at the MN State fair you got to try it.

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

fried ranch flavored cream cheese

Oh, well never mind. That definitely won't taste absolutely horrible and is totally not a bad idea for a cheese flavor.

Fried cheese isn’t weird.

Isn't it, though?

[–] bitwaba 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You talk any more shit about mozzarella sticks and there's gonna be some serious throwdown shenanigans.

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 2 months ago

Hey, you eat what you like, but separating hot fat from cold fat with some breading and making the cold fat also hot fat is kind of weird.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Honestly that sounds delicious, and you can't convince me otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How is that even possible. You can’t deep fry a liquid.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You take the ranch, and you freeze it in small balls like cheese curds, then remove them, roll them in seasoned flower, drop into room temp ranch, and back into panko. Fry at 350 degrees for 90 seconds.

I just made that all up but that's what I would try first.

(Hoping you can get it to solidify, remember deep fried ice cream is a thing)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Holy shit. That would work.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hmm the internet he taught me that throwing icecubes in the deep fryer is a very bad idea

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Oh I’m not going to do it, but I have seen people freeze things and deep fry them. I think the trick is, to let it thaw some maybe?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

You freeze mozzarella cheese before frying when you make homemade mozzarella sticks. It helps it not leak out before it's browned on the outside properly.
It's not exactly a liquid like ranch dressing, so I'm not sure it'd be the same, but it could work

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Small ice cube trays would work for the freezing to make it easier

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Ranch it up 🤟