this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The best ones are thoughts that many people can relate to and they find something funny or interesting in regular stuff.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 hours ago

If he uses 100% of his power it turns all the way back to grapes.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Baryshnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Jesus is said to be God, therefore he should be omnipotent and capable of literally anything we could comprehend as humans, or even more than that even.

Obviously it's all bullshit but yeah.

[–] GreenKnight23 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

so does that mean Jesus could change semen to wine if he was giving a handy since semen is mostly water?

follow up question, would there still be semen in the wine if all he's changing is the water?

follow follow up question, how much money do you think one could make if they ejaculated wine instead of semen?

finally, do you think Jesus masturbates and ejaculates wine for a refreshing post-nut beverage?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

First two, yup, if those are what he wants to happen. The others depend on the buyer and Jesus' mood that day.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 hours ago

I don't think so, the premise is that water can be converted to wine. Water here does not mean the chemical composition (ie h2o) but rather as a concept. So once water is converted the whole of it is refered to as "wine". If you were to separate it into components you can do so but they won't be called wine. Then you can use jesus to convert the water component again and repeat the process.

Another caveat, water is more than just h2o ie, what we usually refer to as "water" can contain many things like minerals, salt and even bacteria etc, in fact i doubt you can get pure h2o easily.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 23 hours ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Everyone's focused on whether Jesus can do it or not while completely forgetting regular people can do that

Just, remove the water, c'mon.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

You need a distillery and a fair bit of knowledge what to do for that. Ethanol boils off faster than water, so if you just simmer it down, you get more wine flavor, but less alcohol (still enough to get you drunk, see christmas markets).

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago (17 children)

Yes? He's literally God and created the world. Doing other things as well like multiplying loaves and rising from the dead. I think He could make wine more and more concentrated, lol

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