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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by ekZepp to c/196
 

Art by SmoothDunk

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[โ€“] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

Oh boy. I am slightly drunk but man, this one got me good ๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] Subverb 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That version is definitely not directed by Ridley Scott.

[โ€“] Duamerthrax 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (6 children)

It's a little unfair to the first Alien movie. It's been a while, but the first one is often hailed as an example of everyone acting as intelligently as makes sense for the character's job and motivation.

Prometheus in the other hand... I think Ridley Scott doesn't respect scientists very much.

[โ€“] Subverb 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Scott obviously hates scientists or is completely oblivious to how science works. The crew is the least scientific group of people ever assembled on film.

The Prometheus cost a trillion dollars and Wayland is betting his life on the success of the mission, but off the top of my head:

  • The scientists aren't told what their mission is until they arrive at their destination which is so ridiculous, but you can argue that's what they signed up for, so okay. But that gives no one a chance to say "oh, then we should pack this odd piece of equipment."
  • Wayland's presence isn't known to the crew, so no one is prepared as any sort of backup to David other than his daughter.
  • There's one autodoc and it's only configured for males so again... Travel to another star after spending a trillion dollars with no backup? But somehow it can perform a C-section on a female with an alien in her. Okay.
  • The pilot has to stand up? Really?
  • The atmosphere is breathable so on that alone they take their helmets off. Sigh.

He should have brought the scientists and engineers that designed, tested and built the ship itself, because they were good.

I mean the list is just goes on and on about how unscientific the mission is. There's a whole cottage industry of youtubers pointing out the innumerable flaws in that movie.

I mean seriously. What the fuck.

[โ€“] Duamerthrax 7 points 2 months ago

I forgot about the autodoc only being set for Male. And it was just a software setting! Like, why?

[โ€“] daddy32 6 points 2 months ago

Don't forget about the geologists equipped with mapping drone... getting lost in a cave!

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[โ€“] Anticorp 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The entire crew acted like idiots for most of the movie. I guess that's what happens when you negotiate the lowest paying contracts that you can. Remember the guy complaining about his contract for the first 1/3 of the movie?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I don't think Mother or the Android(drawing a blank on his name) would have allowed this.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[โ€“] M137 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Anticorp 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] blanketswithsmallpox 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

i want a "saving the world" movie where the sole reason the team is able to do it is because everyone else is a horror movie moron and the protagonists tell them to stop doing stupid shit.

[โ€“] CptEnder 7 points 2 months ago

"I think he's a serial killer! He's waiting outside to catch us!"

"Ok call 911, lock the doors."

"We don't have service!"

"Ok use 911 over WiFi"

"They'll never get here in time, were in the middle of nowhere"

Texts geolocation of serial killer to police

FBI easily arrests meat face man who only move at a walking pace

[โ€“] Avatar_of_Self 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[โ€“] CptEnder 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jesus that movie was depressing AF, too realistic.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Too fucking depressing, especially when you realize the same sort of moronic attitudes, anti-intellectualism and inertia for byrocracys sake have existed on ones life for too many years, but one has just grown too accustomed to it. It really fucking makes one hate itself and makes one want to do SOMETHING to break these monkey people's moronic inertia against everything that might make the world a better place for as many people as possible. Fuck, is this self the r word? Im drunk, I dont know.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

And I'll add the disclaimer that it might be a just too close to reality. I was expecting a comedy and I ended being just depressed because I could see the world going down that route.

[โ€“] bitjunkie 4 points 2 months ago

Yeah it's pretty close, except for that "able to do it" detail.

[โ€“] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Would be a much shorter movie.

[โ€“] nexguy 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean? Do you know how dirty the dining table gets and then you have to clean the bulkhead. Check lights and buttons. Make sure the ship is pointed in the right direction and going the right speed. 90 minutes of content right there!

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I unironically want a slice-of-life space film where it's just humans wandering around their grubby lived-in space ship being people in the 31st century.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[โ€“] rob_t_firefly 3 points 2 months ago

At least in its good seasons, when they remembered they were making a sitcom over monster of the week type stuff.

[โ€“] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In 7 points 2 months ago

Red dwarf.

Firefly.

The Expanse?

[โ€“] RadicallyBland 14 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It blows my mind when people defend Prometheus and Covenant. ESPECIALLY when they say either one is their fave of the franchise. WTF

[โ€“] rob_t_firefly 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just as Starbucks coffee is coffee for people who don't like coffee, Prometheus and Covenant are Alien movies for people who don't like Alien movies.

[โ€“] barsquid 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The roast on your burn is as strong as what Starbucks does to their beans.

[โ€“] TotalFat 3 points 2 months ago

I'm convinced they're trying to crack fusion and the coffee beans are just the results of their failures..

[โ€“] Sylvartas 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'll be honest, I kinda like Prometheus. I think it has some absolutely gorgeous scenes, although the plot is pretty bad. Covenant is in the same vein, with less beautiful scenes and a worse plot

[โ€“] Duamerthrax 11 points 2 months ago

The thing that killed Prometheus was entirely the script. Set design? Great. CGI? Great. Acting? Great.

But when everyone character acts exactly opposite of what their chosen profession was, I can only come to the conclusion that Ridley Scott has a deep disrespect for Scientists.

The Geologist/Cave Mapper got lost. The Archeologist contaminated the site. The Biologist didn't recognize a treat response. The Anthropologist couldn't separate her work from her religious beliefs. I can see the subtext that Scott was going for and I disagree with it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hated Prometheus the first time I watched it. I now love it after 5 watches

[โ€“] Chekhovs_Gun 2 points 2 months ago

I've never seen it and based on these comments I already hate it

[โ€“] NutWrench 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I MUST stick my face in it! For SCIENCE!"

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[โ€“] someguy3 9 points 2 months ago

Could have been an Easter egg and you'd never know.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

the director's cut is 2421 panels long includes 34 more characters and a time travel subplot

[โ€“] rob_t_firefly 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Source: @SmoothDunk on Twitter. (Despite the fact that not everyone can see links from the hellsite anymore, crediting sources is still the cool thing to do.)

[โ€“] ekZepp 4 points 2 months ago

@SmoothDunk

Thank you, i can't find the autor ๐Ÿ‘

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Is that a religion to a specific movie, or just the genre in general?

Edit: reference

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Specifically the first Alien movie, and I guess technically Prometheus as well.

[โ€“] TankovayaDiviziya 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Prometheus has no excuse on the plot of playing with the baby alien/proto-facehugger. The dude is a biologist and should have known better not to play with any potentially dangerous animals, especially an unknown alien animal!

[โ€“] CertifiedBlackGuy 2 points 2 months ago

Prometheus scientists made the Life scientists seem like some of the most competent people to ever grace media

[โ€“] Zachariah 7 points 2 months ago

And our lord and savior Xenomorph Christ.

[โ€“] EwonRael 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Weird looking note the swcond guy is whistling

[โ€“] Pheral 5 points 2 months ago

whistles in Hebrew

[โ€“] petersr 4 points 2 months ago
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