this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 155 points 3 months ago (3 children)

JD Vance puts his cast iron in the dishwasher pass it on

[–] JustZ 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

He weedwhacks in shorts and sandles.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago

I saw the bastard press the spatula down on burgers he was grilling.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Unelectable

And I thought him masturbating dolphins after dosing both the dolphin and himself with LSD was weird enough.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (3 children)

This would unironically raise my opinion of him

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[–] [email protected] 107 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This guy has no backbone and just shills culture war trash while sucking his handlers dick at every corner...

This dude has no character

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 44 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

So many modern Boomer conservatives still cling to the mythology of the JFK era and the national labor movements that made America great in the wake of WW2. Reagan and Bush and Trump knew how to pander to these folks and to scapegoat minorities and immigrants as the cause of the country's decline.

Vance doesn't have any of that. He's entirely a product of the 21st century without any roots to speak of. He hates his mom for needing oxy to get through the day. He hates his home town for failing to pull itself up by its own bootstraps, like the armies of government contractors at Yale and Langley and Silicon Valley. And he hates poor white people for not embodying the mystical traits of superhuman races in his favorite pulp fantasy novels. All of that is naked on his face when he tries to talk to anyone over 30.

He's not like us. He spends too much time on the computer and now he's a fucking weirdo.

[–] ripcord 15 points 3 months ago (3 children)

the national labor movements that made America great in the wake of WW2

Ah yes, the wake of WWII. When America was on top and producing everything, because all of our competitors had the ever-loving shit bombed out of them. Also they needed to buy stuff too.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hey, I'm a weirdo that spends too much time on his computer and I don't do any of that!

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[–] LEDZeppelin 16 points 3 months ago

They all do. I don’t see any different outcome if it was DeathSantis or Vivek or Token Tim Scott instead of JD.

These all people have one thing common among them - they all lack backbones and have absolutely no convictions beyond enriching themselves. Not one of them have even an appearance of a coherent policy that works for / is in best interest of anyone but themselves

[–] samus12345 73 points 3 months ago (2 children)

On July 31, Trump dismissed suggestions that JD Vance was a bad choice, telling the National Association of Black Journalists that vice presidential picks have "virtually no impact" on elections.

Then why are Republicans bothering to attack Tim Walz?

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 months ago

Republicans are synonymous with hypocrisy.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 months ago (25 children)

To play devil's advocate in defense of the Vance pick, I don't think Trump needs any assistance in courting boomers. He's managed to appeal to the generation's racist tendencies and "I got mine" attitudes to great success. Vance is to try and attract the young dudebro vote with a discount Andrew Tate. So far he seems like the incel messiah, so maybe it's even working, but obv in all normal circles being such a giant incel is weird af.

[–] idiomaddict 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He’s not an incel. He “loves” his wife despite her race!

[–] Jimmyeatsausage 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Her tradwife scores were so high that she beat all other ~~couches~~ competitors even after losing points for her inferior bloodline.

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[–] paddirn 14 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, but did Trump really need any help locking up that vote? It's not like they were going to flock over to Democrats anytime soon. He's just doubling down on demographics that were already going for him anyways. He needed a stable Pence figure that could convince "on the fence" voters that there was still going to be an adult in the room, or just somebody who is anti-Israel or supports Palestine, that probably would've caused the most chaos among Democrats. They'd disagree on everything else, but hey, this person is against genocide in Israel, let's vote for them.

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[–] carl_dungeon 50 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Millennial here, we don’t like him either. I’m really concerned for the couches my children will have to grow up with.

[–] primrosepathspeedrun 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

certainly no more reaching between the cushions for change.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Why is he so puffy? He always looks like he is wearing one of those silicon masks.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It’s a little known fact, but Vance is actually heterosectional.

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[–] yemmly 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a guy who’s puffy from too much drinkin’ I can confirm that it looks like too much drinkin

[–] yemmly 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Same. I’m quitting tomorrow.

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[–] simplejack 8 points 3 months ago

Those Silicon Valley Michelin Star restaurants aren’t going to visit themselves. Someone’s got to keep those sommeliers employed.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Are boomers the ones that had plastic foils over their couches?

[–] IzzyScissor 42 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I think when JD uses one, it's called a sophylactic.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

It keeps the couch from getting… sticky.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

"But Recliner babe, I'm allergic to sophylastic ..."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

That was more a thing of the Boomers parent's, the Greatest Generation. At least in the PNW of the US. Fads happened in waves before the internet, so YMMV.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

They lived through the Depression when they couldn't afford a new couch, so they learned to protect the one they had

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

Can confirm. My grandma had a sealed couch that would protect it from stains and the like. Scum like Vance would slide right off.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

That doesn't make sense - how else do you get little couches if the momma couch can't be fucked?

But yes, you are correct about that, but I try to PSA that its not the great financial & economical depression that caused such behaviour - that behaviour is the default, the normal, what humans always did.

Its only the extreme profit driven consumerism that followed that that indoctrinated us into the 'buy new completely discard the old, dont think about it, it was always like this, since the dawn of time' ... a price generations are now beginning to pay.

[–] ThePowerOfGeek 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They just foresaw Vance's arrival, and were trying to protect the virtue of their innocent couches from him.

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[–] ThePantser 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can I request he stop coming to Michigan? This week marks the 3rd time since becoming Trump's choice. We don't want him here.

[–] EvilBit 23 points 3 months ago

Someone should suggest he campaign in Miami. I hear he loves the Dolphins.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Trump would never allow a strong male to roam his pasture. Of course he chose a limp towel to be his running mate. Vance is basically his mini me.

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[–] cheese_greater 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Sunroc 11 points 3 months ago

What is a con man without the confidence?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

The couch cleanliness demographic

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Don't let's ignore the searing hatred us gen xers have for this living example of retrograde evolution.

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[–] JustZ 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

What am embarrassment to Yale. His classmates must be mortified.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What am embarrassment to Yale.

Nah. He's very standard Ivy League material.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

Is this... is this a problem for President Drink Bleach?

[–] CharlesDarwin 8 points 3 months ago

Probably because at least some boomers were educated enough (in their schools as well as hearing it straight from their parents) about the dangers of fascism.

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