this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] [email protected] 112 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Gambling every day for decades and still not addicted, what are the odds!

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago

3-1

I'll put down 100k

[–] NegativeInf 72 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I can quit any time I like. I won't. But I could!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Quit what? Life? I can't, I'm addicted to living :(

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You seem addicted to breathing. Try quitting

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I tried to stop a while ago, in less than 2 minutes the craving was in me... I cracked, despite all my promises to myself, I breathed again. Definitely addict !

Maybe I've put on weight since then, wouldn't surprise me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Quitters are losers. That's why I don't quit and go to rehab.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago

Ken M vibes

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I never gamble. Not in a million years."

"I bet I can get you to gamble by the end of the day."

"You're on!"

"Ha! I don't know how I'm gonna get you, but I'll figure something out before the day is over, just you wait."

[–] Raiderkev 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] kautau 4 points 1 month ago

We landed on the moon!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

So you think I have a gambling problem?

I'll bet you $100 that I don't!

[–] WereCat 24 points 1 month ago

Quitting gambling and smoking is easy. I've done it several times already.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Statistically speaking, if nobody you know is a ghost, you're the ghost.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese 4 points 1 month ago
[–] voldage 4 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't understand, please explain

[–] Entropywins 7 points 1 month ago

Something a ghost would say...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  • Imagine a group of people
  • You look around and notice that there are no ghosts in that group of people
  • Now you need to check if you are a ghost, which you can't check
  • Therefore, it's statistically likely that you are a ghost if nobody you know is a ghost
[–] voldage 2 points 1 month ago

But that would only work under assumption that in any group of people at least one of them has to be a ghost, or at the very least the chance that there is a ghost in a group of people is greater than 0, right? Is it something about the chance of someone being a ghost being truly unknown, and thus all possible values of probability being taken as equally rational, and with infinite number of possible values for probability of someone being a ghost for infinite number of them observing that no one in a group of people you're in is a ghost... No, that wouldn't work either, because it would require an assumption that this specific group of people might have a ghost among them. Assuming anyone can be a ghost with unknown probability still only works when the group you're observing is entire population, does it not? Limiting it to specific group of people relies on it being representative of entire population, and random groups are not. Especially if you were to be a ghost, that would already make a group you're in rather unique. Or not, depending on what's the unknown value of probability of someone being a ghost.

I mean, what???

[–] roguetrick 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

So first, 👻s obviously are real because everybody has always believed in 👻s. Since we can take that as a given, we can also logically assume that 👻s are a significant portion of sentient minds. If you don't know any 👻s, then statistically speaking, it is much more likely for you to be the 👻 in the sample size of the 👯👯‍♂️👯‍♀️ you know.

[–] formergijoe 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My dude needs to get Balatro

[–] Etterra 5 points 1 month ago

When you can break infinity and all the money is imaginary.

[–] blueamigafan 22 points 1 month ago

A very toxic industry to be in, I used to be an engineer for a company that looked after slot machines here in the UK. High Street betting shops would regularly get smashed up by people after they lost all their money, but they would just pay us to repair them and let them back a few weeks later because they knew they'd be back. Completely taking advantage of people with a very real problem.

[–] LaunchesKayaks 19 points 1 month ago

My old boss spent all day gambling on his phone and talking about buying a Corvette.

Dude still lived with (mooched) off his mom and paid no bills. He makes, last time I checked, 80k/year for doing fuck all. He has his underlings done everything.

Dude lives a shit existence lol

[–] Macaroni_ninja 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I bet he is

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Clever title.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

How many times can the same content be reposted?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Atleast twice

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Buddy, I've been posting things I find on Lemmy for 2+ years. It's all I post and I still haven't made a repost so I doubt it's happening.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've seen this post at least three times so far.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

whooooosh or something.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

On lemmy sync (for android) the app reimplements the reddit hide post button. I used it a lot on reddit for this reason and it's handy here too

[–] son_named_bort 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

As Kenny Rogers said, you got to know when to hold em and so on. I haven't finished the song yet, but I'm pretty sure it supports this guy.

[–] AngryCommieKender 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

OP doesn't know when to walk away, or when to run. He probably doesn't even know when to fold.

Kenny Rogers makes some fine fried chicken, though it doesn't compare to the actual original recipe that The Colonel sold, which is possible to recreate, but no longer possible to buy, prepared for consumption, ever since KFC took over the store in Corbin.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I found this version of the recipe online

Does this seem like the real deal, or is it more of a recreation of the corporate recipe?

I haven't really tried to make it myself, ever (I don't even own a regular deep fryer, let alone a pressure fryer)

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Oh there'll be time enough for counting when the deal is done

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Is that his song about origami?

[–] callmepk 6 points 1 month ago
[–] Raglesnarf 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I see comments/posts like this all the time for drinking and gambling on TikTok and idk why but they always get a laugh out of me. I guess it's just so stupid/goofy? idk I like what I like

[–] aidan 2 points 1 month ago

It's a meme(drunk driving and gambling), started a couple years ago

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

He lives in the house of the rising sun.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Classic joke getting chewed by the hivemind into some kind of collective permanent epiphany about how much brighter we all are compared to online strangers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Missing obvious satire is something we're even worse about than Reddit.

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