this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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[–] [email protected] 112 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Gambling every day for decades and still not addicted, what are the odds!

[–] [email protected] 71 points 4 months ago

3-1

I'll put down 100k

[–] NegativeInf 72 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I can quit any time I like. I won't. But I could!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Quit what? Life? I can't, I'm addicted to living :(

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

You seem addicted to breathing. Try quitting

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

I tried to stop a while ago, in less than 2 minutes the craving was in me... I cracked, despite all my promises to myself, I breathed again. Definitely addict !

Maybe I've put on weight since then, wouldn't surprise me

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Quitters are losers. That's why I don't quit and go to rehab.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago

Ken M vibes

[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"I never gamble. Not in a million years."

"I bet I can get you to gamble by the end of the day."

"You're on!"

"Ha! I don't know how I'm gonna get you, but I'll figure something out before the day is over, just you wait."

[–] Raiderkev 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] kautau 4 points 4 months ago

We landed on the moon!

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago

So you think I have a gambling problem?

I'll bet you $100 that I don't!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Statistically speaking, if nobody you know is a ghost, you're the ghost.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese 4 points 4 months ago
[–] voldage 4 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I don't understand, please explain

[–] Entropywins 7 points 4 months ago

Something a ghost would say...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
  • Imagine a group of people
  • You look around and notice that there are no ghosts in that group of people
  • Now you need to check if you are a ghost, which you can't check
  • Therefore, it's statistically likely that you are a ghost if nobody you know is a ghost
[–] voldage 2 points 4 months ago

But that would only work under assumption that in any group of people at least one of them has to be a ghost, or at the very least the chance that there is a ghost in a group of people is greater than 0, right? Is it something about the chance of someone being a ghost being truly unknown, and thus all possible values of probability being taken as equally rational, and with infinite number of possible values for probability of someone being a ghost for infinite number of them observing that no one in a group of people you're in is a ghost... No, that wouldn't work either, because it would require an assumption that this specific group of people might have a ghost among them. Assuming anyone can be a ghost with unknown probability still only works when the group you're observing is entire population, does it not? Limiting it to specific group of people relies on it being representative of entire population, and random groups are not. Especially if you were to be a ghost, that would already make a group you're in rather unique. Or not, depending on what's the unknown value of probability of someone being a ghost.

I mean, what???

[–] roguetrick 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

So first, 👻s obviously are real because everybody has always believed in 👻s. Since we can take that as a given, we can also logically assume that 👻s are a significant portion of sentient minds. If you don't know any 👻s, then statistically speaking, it is much more likely for you to be the 👻 in the sample size of the 👯👯‍♂️👯‍♀️ you know.

[–] WereCat 24 points 4 months ago

Quitting gambling and smoking is easy. I've done it several times already.

[–] formergijoe 22 points 4 months ago (2 children)

My dude needs to get Balatro

[–] Etterra 5 points 4 months ago

When you can break infinity and all the money is imaginary.

[–] blueamigafan 22 points 4 months ago

A very toxic industry to be in, I used to be an engineer for a company that looked after slot machines here in the UK. High Street betting shops would regularly get smashed up by people after they lost all their money, but they would just pay us to repair them and let them back a few weeks later because they knew they'd be back. Completely taking advantage of people with a very real problem.

[–] LaunchesKayaks 19 points 4 months ago

My old boss spent all day gambling on his phone and talking about buying a Corvette.

Dude still lived with (mooched) off his mom and paid no bills. He makes, last time I checked, 80k/year for doing fuck all. He has his underlings done everything.

Dude lives a shit existence lol

[–] Macaroni_ninja 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I bet he is

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Clever title.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)

How many times can the same content be reposted?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Atleast twice

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Buddy, I've been posting things I find on Lemmy for 2+ years. It's all I post and I still haven't made a repost so I doubt it's happening.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

On lemmy sync (for android) the app reimplements the reddit hide post button. I used it a lot on reddit for this reason and it's handy here too

[–] son_named_bort 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

As Kenny Rogers said, you got to know when to hold em and so on. I haven't finished the song yet, but I'm pretty sure it supports this guy.

[–] AngryCommieKender 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

OP doesn't know when to walk away, or when to run. He probably doesn't even know when to fold.

Kenny Rogers makes some fine fried chicken, though it doesn't compare to the actual original recipe that The Colonel sold, which is possible to recreate, but no longer possible to buy, prepared for consumption, ever since KFC took over the store in Corbin.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I found this version of the recipe online

Does this seem like the real deal, or is it more of a recreation of the corporate recipe?

I haven't really tried to make it myself, ever (I don't even own a regular deep fryer, let alone a pressure fryer)

[–] AngryCommieKender 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The only real deal I know of is this: https://marionkay.com/product/chicken-seasoning-99-x/

That is, apparently, the actual original recipe that Sanders made.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ugh they don't ship to the EU :(

I guess I'll have to try the different replica recipes found online. The stuff that you get at KFC itself is mediocre at best and I lost interest in it as soon as a better chicken joint turned up near me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Oh there'll be time enough for counting when the deal is done

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Is that his song about origami?

[–] callmepk 6 points 4 months ago
[–] Raglesnarf 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I see comments/posts like this all the time for drinking and gambling on TikTok and idk why but they always get a laugh out of me. I guess it's just so stupid/goofy? idk I like what I like

[–] aidan 2 points 4 months ago

It's a meme(drunk driving and gambling), started a couple years ago

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

He lives in the house of the rising sun.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Classic joke getting chewed by the hivemind into some kind of collective permanent epiphany about how much brighter we all are compared to online strangers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Missing obvious satire is something we're even worse about than Reddit.

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