I’ll do it again
this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2024
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The garlic butter container slid across the pizza while the cheese was still liquid.
Or the person pushed it through and took the picture.
Or there was a massive air bubble.
Or someone slapped their cock on it.
Or that.
I want to believe!
Username checks out.
We've all been there. Fuckin a pizza, slamming your dick in the toilet seat, getting it stuck in a toaster. Boys will be boys!
Look for the guy with a burnt cock.
after doing this multiple times you build up a resilience
no no no, mandatory taste tests to see if the cheese can be detected
I don't think so, the way the displaced cheese is thicker by the presumptive tip means that at best someone slid their cock on it!
This is the root cause analysis we live for.
I'm trying to imagine putting my dick in cheese that is hot enough to be moved around to that degree, and I don't think it would be very comfortable.
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Get the fuck out of here with your logic
I'm a blast at parties, let me tell you.
My scientific brain would think those other possibilities.
Or someone slapped their cock onto the pizza.
That "pizza" explains why Americans call it pie.
You people eat this mess and call it pizza?
It looks fucking diseased.
Fuck no.
Sincerely,
New York
Papa John's tastes like despair and has the consistency of moldy cardboard.
With all due respect,
Texas
Thank heavens for Home Slice.
New York raised, living in Texas
Definitely not Papa John's. It is the loosest definition of pizza. Below even Chicago Deep Dish.
My favorite Papa John's memory (because if you're an American, you've been forced to eat this slop at some point) is we had an On Call shift for NCAA events (I worked at a sports site) so they ordered us pizzas, donuts, salads, the spread since we'd be there until 3am. This was three days after Papa John himself had to resign for saying gamer words. His face, prominently featured on all the boxes, had been replaced by a "Now Hiring" sticker in an inconsistent manner, which led me to believe the employees at the kitchen had some feelings about the guy...
Below even Chicago Deep Dish.
Which we all know is actually a casserole.
Tomato soup in a bread bowl.
I live in poland and Papa Johns has recently opened a few restaurants here but nobody wants to eat this hyperprocessed trash when the local joints (some run by Italians) are so much better for the same price.
Even local corporate pizza franchises are way ahead of any american ones like Papa Johns, Domino's or Pizza Hut in quality.
I guess americans just can't make good pizza.
I guess americans just can't make good pizza.
No, giant American corporations cant make good pizza, I can assure you we've got plenty of local joints all over that can rival yours
I've had lots of good pizza in the US, almost exclusively from independent places that serve NY Slice/Detroit/Neapolitan, and only one from a chain that's even close to decent: Blaze Pizza, which goes for a neapolitan-style in a fast casual setting. That's about it.
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For all I know, you taking the pic could've done it
Taking a pic doesn't affect the subject that much!
If this goes viral, I remember that racist, fanatical republican arschloch who used to do the commercials and realize I would probably not cry if his Papajohn stonk tanks.
~~IIRC, that dude got fired for asking a PR rep "why can't I say n----r?" in a call that got leaked.~~
//edited for specific details because it's way funnier
So he had been publically pushing against the NFL protests like a racist, and people didn't like it. The company hired a PR firm to help, and in a conference call with them he was whining about wokism or whatever and defended himself by claiming that, "Colonel Sanders called blacks n----rs." The call audio was promptly leaked
He resigned. Three days later the Papa John's cancelled the lease on his office and had him evicted lmfao. Within two weeks they implemented a policy that if John ever tries to buy more stock, all other stockholders can buy stock at half off to prevent him from ever controlling the company. Dude got fuckin razzmatazzed by his own pizza corporation.
Their pizza is still overpriced, dry, and bland tho.
Oh my goodness, that epilogue to the events in question is like a rich and creamy dessert, I had no idea the repercussions were so swift and severe.
Thank you for posting this, I'm amazed that I didn't know the broader arc of the story.
ok, gonna have to school some peeps with some pizza knowledge today.
First off, this is a thin crust. Dough comes to the store pre-made with perforations, you might get one small bubble in a thousand pizzas. So, not a bubble issue. (sorry @[email protected])
2nd, the pizza was cut previously from the incident as indicated by the cut marks of the classic "8 slice-large". These cuts have been covered where the cheese has been squashed from the smushing After cutting. (sorry @[email protected]) Also, the ovens are designed to only allow a particular height through, bottles on top of a pizza wouldn't even make it in and the smell would be atrocious.
C, the standard thin crust from PJ's comes only with special seasoning (a small paper packet of seasoning) and some pepperoncini peppers, it does not contain the round garlic sauce containers. If it had, the marks would start round and end round. (sorry again @[email protected])
Two likely culprits in my book, one would be the oven attendants personal bottle. On busy days you have seconds to cut, package, and add all the sides (wings are the worse with extra sauce on them and extra side sauce you always run out of). Damaging a pizza can be a daily occurrence. Lastly, probably a sauce bottle itself. There are several of such size and design for the garlic Parmesan, buffalo, bbq, etc. Whole container full of bottles you usually hand off to someone helping you catch up and probably dropped it into the open box after cutting and before putting on the heating rack.
The reality, this was probably a bad pizza set off to the side on the heat rack. There are no sides present and typically you'll see a wet residue from the peppers once they're placed in the box (you don't put sides in a bad pizza/one being remade). The slice stolen was probably a co-worker grabbing a slice during working hours and another co-worker took the rest home. Probably thought it was funny and snapped a photo for the sharing feels.
edit: changed cooling rack to heating rack, I will now perform Seppuku with my pizza cutter for my disgrace.
Why is there a slice missing already?
Because someone put their dick in the pizza to make a funny
Needed energy to snap a photo.
When you realize it was a Take 'N' Bake.
What's the problem here?
The sausage is missing, don't you see?
The papa special with extra large meat.
Oh man that hot cheese on my penis would cause me to ejaculate instantly so the very fact that there is no ejaculate on the pizza leads me to believe this mark wasn't made by a real penis and probably was done by the person who bought the pizza for some internet clout.
Remember to wash your dick, or you'll end up with a case of dick-brie
Better than blue cheese balls
Must be papa's John
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