this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024
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A few years ago I felt kinda lame whenever I had to "make a wish" blowing out birthday candles or whatnot and the only thing I could think of under pressure was "world peace".

Since then, I've kept a wish ready to blurt out if I ever see a falling star or toss a coin into a fountain etc

For me, it's sending my mind, with all my current knowledge and experience, back in time into my body at the moment I graduated high school, so I could re-live my life with more confidence, less anxiety and get straight into doing the cool bits of my life much earlier.

What would be your "back pocket wish"?

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Well, “world peace” may not be original, but it isn’t bad.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Unless it's one of those monkey's-paw wishes, in which case everyone immediately dies.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

“But they’ll make bigger boards and bigger nails until they destroy themselves”

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[–] ZagamTheVile 31 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (8 children)

That I had a wallet with exact change every time I opened it. Dinner? My treat, you tip. You need groceries? Give me the list. The lady in front of me at the dentist that can't get more care till her bill is paid? Is cash OK?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And when a certain billionaire realizes he's lost way too much money and wants to offload this website he purchased for way too much you could just write a check.

Or you can like pay off all the student loan debt because you just happen to have 1.3 trillion dollars in your wallet.

[–] ZagamTheVile 9 points 4 months ago

Or just travel around and pay off school lunch debts, overdue book fees at local libraries, and get a round for everyone at every ice cream truck I see.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

However you see yourself, it's welcome in our eyes.

[–] vivavideri 20 points 4 months ago (4 children)

"For chick pants to have dude pants pockets"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

You're a hero the world needs right now.

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[–] MadBabs 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

As long as I'm happy in the moment, I wish for "more of this" because I'm usually having a good time and with people I love.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Yeah, appreciating the moment is the best wish ever.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I wish for my bestie's good physical and mental health. Preferably, she'll attain both at once in a way where she feels she earned it for herself.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Magic. And not ledgerdemain or magic that looks like things just kind of happened that sort of way, I'm talking magic missile, fireball, flying through the air blowing shit up, summoning familiars, castles in the sky, all that shit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] KammicRelief 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Yeah dude. Chicks dig guys with a back pocket wish.

[–] Boozilla 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I love yours, and have one almost identical to it. But it's probably not one I would share with say, coworkers or casual friends. I have a "public and plausible" wish in addition to the fantastic and semi-private one. My public and plausible wish is usually that our lotto pool at work finally hits all the numbers. Considering the odds of that happening, it's damned unlikely, but at least it's theoretically possible. So maybe I should call it my "public and barely plausible wish".

[–] UncleArthur 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I've always wished for Scarlett Johanssen, naked, to appear at the front door. It's yet to happen.

[–] Boozilla 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

One of my buddies thinks she's plain / unattractive. Love the guy, but he's a complete idiot in this regard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

No I'm isn't

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You didn't specify when. She will show up when she is elderly and in poor health. She'll knock on your door, then pass away.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (4 children)

It's always been to fly. Every time I blow out birthday candles, every time I fix my necklace chain, every time I blow away a fallen eyelash, every time I've thrown a penny in a fountain (oh how I miss the mall fountain!).

It never fucking works >:(

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's because you told us just now. It would've worked but now it can't!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (4 children)

What would be your "back pocket wish"?

That nobody is guilt tripped into making wishes on their birthday to satisfy social norms.

Check mate atheists.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”

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[–] ivanafterall 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Since I was a kid, I settled on "$100 million." Simple. Enough to get you through life, but not being too greedy. Yet it's still never come true, so I'm beginning to think wishing on stars, candles, wells, etc... might sadly be bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I remember when I was around 12 or 13 I'd always say my wish would be to get 1 billion dollars per second, for the rest of my life, and that no one, including the government, would ever be suspicious of it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

You sound like you played too much D&D.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I used to always wish that things would work out for the best.

I guess it was too vague because that's not how things have been going.

[–] Rhynoplaz 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They just haven't finished working out yet.

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[–] Today 8 points 4 months ago

Health, happiness, and security for my kids.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Just to know that I'll be ok, I have a lot of chronic anxieties about the long picture future

[–] nikaaa 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You shouldn't feel pressured into making a wish.

[–] Klear 7 points 4 months ago

I wish it was that simple.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

On a personal level, a small house for my kids to live in before I die somewhere quiet. On a global level? Less privileged people would stop being taken advantage of by nefarious sources and systems designed to crush them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Health and happiness for myself and everybody here with me. I hope everyone's dreams come true and they find happiness too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Restorative Peace in our time. The absence of violence and presence of justice.

[–] TheDoozer 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Here's your monkey's paw.

Time goes on, and you overcome a lot of those anxieties with age. You get married, start a great job, buy a house, have a couple kids, and generally start feeling comfortable with life.

Then in a flash you are back in your high school head, knowing that no matter what you do, you'll never get the mix of circumstances just right to do it again, which means at best your kids cease to exist and at worst, you lose everything that gave your life meaning. And you can't share that pain with anyone. And on top of that, you're now mentally a 45-year-old in a teenagers body, and rather than feeling attraction to your peers, they now look like children to you. You're full of confidence, but any attempt to use that confidence feels like taking advantage of a child (even though you are physically the same age).

I think of that, because your wish is a horror story for me. Whenever it's brought up, I think no amount of getting in on the ground floor of k-cups stock or bitcoin, no preventing catastrophes, nothing I could do would make me feel it was worth losing my kids. And worse, making them never exist.

By the way, mine is "I wish for a blowjob." I've got what I need. But I'll always take a blow job (FROM MY WIFE, TO BE CLEAR).

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (3 children)

i wish everyone who dies goes to hell no matter what

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