this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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[–] NegativeLookBehind 31 points 5 months ago (6 children)

What if I want to gain two inches?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

Then you can call me. I'll give you two inches.

[–] NickwithaC 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] NegativeLookBehind 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How do the cookies help me with my Phallic Expansion Endeavors (PEE)?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

Your endeavours are stored in the balls.

[–] AngryishHumanoid 6 points 5 months ago

If you want a couple extra inches in you I believe I can be of service.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

That sounds like you need to go visit Procrustes and his wonderful bed that fits everyone


eventually.

[–] Skullgrid 2 points 5 months ago

just have one funnel cake... eating contest.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What if I don't have to inches?

[–] YarHarSuperstar 1 points 5 months ago

You have to inches or no one will ever be able to inches ever again.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

2 inches of what? If it's hair, I'm disappointed but still amused at this way to advertise a regular hairdresser service

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

average day in LA

[–] nifty 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Losing 2in is 30mins is basically water weight. Lose an extra .5in by pooing

/jk bc it doesn’t exactly work like that

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I know that you cannot rely on peeing/pooping harder for weight loss but how is "in" a unit of weight?

[–] nifty 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I meant inches around your torso

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's a really weird way to measure one's fitness. Still, exhaling takes less than 3 seconds! /s

[–] nifty 2 points 5 months ago

A better way to measure your fitness is to drink copiously and see how long it takes you to recover

/s

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Too bad Nikolai Gogol isn't around to see this

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Hmm. How much? I've got a few extra lying around.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

My problem is while I am pretty sure I'm soulless, I also refuse to cheat someone by selling them something that doesn't exist.

[–] Skullgrid 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

neat, douglas hofstader is in town

[–] Num10ck 5 points 5 months ago

incredible book.