this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
1056 points (98.1% liked)

me_irl

4695 readers
359 users here now

All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
1056
me_irl (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by herrwoland to c/me_irl
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 72 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In my late 30s, still doing it. I don't expect to be rewarded though, I just want to toil away without being a dick to people around me.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago
[–] confusedbytheBasics 52 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In my late 30s I realized I could work a little less hard, ask for support, and ask for what I wanted without expectations. It's an improvement so far.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In my early 30s and after the constant flow of assholes fail upwards and get promoted ahead of me, I decided to set fire to the world and did a Office Space.

That constant directness led me to run a department.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ummthatguy 35 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Thankfully, around 7-8th grade. The English and History teachers worked in tandem to impose a critical thinking background to their lessons. Of course, it made me and others cynical as shit, but we were at least less surprised when life decided to go in dry.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Trust me, if you're thrust in unprepared and need to learn the lessons for yourself you will turn out more cynical in the long run.

I used to be so Idealistic...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] GardenVarietyAnxiety 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I miss MadTV... Great reference.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

At 15, on my first job. There were 3 others in the same position. I finished first, perfectly, while they goofed off. Told the manager, all excited. She had me clean out a closet while I waited for the others to catch up. It was a real defining moment.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

The best thing is that this is true in every job. Your reward for being 15% more productive than everyone else is an extra 5% in wages. Sometimes not even that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's really, really going to depend on your work environment. In some cases, being the person who is 15% more productive buys you some leverage and slack that others don't have. Was that guy in some roles - there was definitely shit I was able to get away with that would've ended in disciplinary conversations for others.

The trick, though, is being to suss out when that's actually the case, when you're just deluding yourself , and when that might've been the case once but for whatever reason isn't anymore. That's tougher.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your reward for being 15% more productive than everyone else is 25% extra work

Fixed.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HexesofVexes 29 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I teach for a living, yet I never learn.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Lemminary 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Ok but if I'm even slightly mean to someone they try to screw me over for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, I see people getting away with it. I need a tutorial on being an asshole that people tolerate.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You have to make sure you're only being an asshole to people who're seen as beneath you. If someone above you both likes that person better than you're going to get fucked. They on the other hand can be an asshole to you with impunity.

[–] RGB3x3 16 points 5 months ago

Kiss up, kick down. That's how it's always worked.

I don't condone it, because we should be kissing down and kicking up, but the rich people don't want it that way.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

30s. Earning well, no issues yet.

Being good to the people around me and those in my community isn't an act. It's just how I feel I should be.

I now work on projects I'm passionate about, and spent years prior swinging a tool.

Everyone's path is different. I was lucky, but I didn't act a certain way because I was trying to put up an act. It's just how I conduct myself.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Lucky af here too. None of the “work sucks” stuff ever realllly resonates with me. But I sympathize all the same. Just happened to get super lucky in most every way. We need to do better for the majority, but even an evil system ends up working well for some folks (perhaps only a privileged few). So, caution people on blanket “absolutely everything sucks, trust no one!” kinda thinking.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

Way, way later than I should have. Or wish I had.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I am constantly reminded that knowledge isn't free. We live in a world where everything could be so so so much better if information were shared, instead it is locked up and sold as a product. So to answer the question, every single day, I'm still hopeful that a positive change could happen.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 18 points 5 months ago (8 children)

Let you know when it happens.

For the most part the more active and nicer you are the happier you will be. Yeah yeah you get taken advantage of, you know the same result if you are a lazy asshole.

Your insurance company is going to deny your claim, your stuff is going to break down, you will be ripped off, you will be injured, you will be robbied, and eventually you will die. All of this stuff will happen in your existence and there is fuck all you can do about it.

What you can do is stay active and stay giving. You can surround yourself with people who very much want you to be happy in life and your happiness almost completely depends on it.

So go ahead and make your decision. Do you want to pass judgement on a world that doesn't care what you think about it and rot with whatever pathetic little you have or do you want deep connections and a lifetime of achievement.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Sweetpeaches69 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

25; I'm still waiting on a title change and raise I was promised in October. Turns out doing system administration work, software deployment, RMM management, and CADD support all while being payed as a support tech isn't such a great idea. Oh well, at least my resume is stacked for when I leave.

[–] hobowillie 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

As someone who has done that, it is an uphill battle to get recognized for that work without the proper title. It's mostly recruiters who want easy commissions who won't advocate for you and quite a few HR people will screen you out even if you seem to have the skills just because you don't have that title. I hope you have a better job search than I did after doing that for a company.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] fubbernuckin 15 points 5 months ago

Jokes on you, i never had a plan

[–] frog_brawler 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] garbagebagel 7 points 5 months ago

Did you still act like you were in freshman year?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Still trying to fully realise this.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Hard to be surrounded by the horrors of the world and not want to try and make things better.

Harder still to find any kind of institution or group that's got the finances and expertise to make effective changes, but which hasn't been hijacked and looted by corporate raiders.

Feels like I'm living in Mad Max world and I'm trying to decide which insane biker cult to join if I want to make the world a brighter friendlier place.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

28 when they try to fire me during abrunout after doing 14h a day for 6 month while fighting for custody.

[–] BugleFingers 13 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I was about 25. I did actually work my way up through sheer knowledge base within the first 6 years at the company. But after several years of going for a more technical position the boss slept with a new hire who was new to the industry and gave them the position.

I promptly left the company and heard that the person who gain the position through I'll gotten means not only messed up a lot but also injured themselves doing stupid shit anyone who's been in the industry would not do.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

33 - After burning out from taking too much on 😅

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

As a kid I somehow figured I could be both a world famous Hollywood actress and a stay at home mom at the same time. And achieve all of that by like 20.

I mean at least one of these things happened temporarily but not until my late 20s.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

How many movies have you starred in so far? 👀

[–] VoilaChihuahua 10 points 5 months ago

When my angel of a tee totaling mother who would cry from the stress of working unpaid OT, making every family member custom holiday sweatshirts, or hosting other little girl's birthday parties at their lazy mother's request, died rather quickly from a brain tumor after her quack therapist ignored her months of aphasia. Selflessness guarantees nothing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sadly, not until the late nineties.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

I was pretty young when I knew this in my brain.

I was way too old before I really believed and felt it in my soul.

[–] synapse1278 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I was 21yo. I am thankful mandatory internships taught me that much.

1st internship at 20yo. Completed 2 full-fledged programming projects in 8 weeks, while I was supposed to complete 1 project in the entire 10 weeks. Spent the last 2 weeks unboxing and reboxing hundreds of products all day. Was paid 500€/month (minimum legally required). Worked my ass off from 8am until 18am. No one ever invited me to go for lunch with them. Boss treated me like an idiot. He once shouted at me at 8am because he didn't like my handshake and I didn't smile, I didn't look motivated and grateful enough to his liking.

2nd internship. 4 months long. Still paid the 500€/month minimum. Did my job alright, completed the tasks that were given to me and nothing more. Spent most of every Fridays just chatting with coworkers and drinking coffee. "Oh, it's 15:55 already! I better pack my things and leave". They loved me, told me they will have a position for me after I finish my studies. Colleagues offered me presents on my last day.

3rd and last internship. Applied the same principles. They offered me a job starting at 54k€/year (as a reference, other offers I got at the time maxed at 34k€/year).

I am thankful for this lesson. Be nice and socialize. Just do your job well with the time your are paid for and absolutely nothing extra. I have been nothing but successful in my career so far :)

P.S: all internships were in different companies

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Maggoty 8 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I thought I learned it in the army. Then I thought I learned it in college. Then the VA actually taught me the lesson.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] psion1369 8 points 5 months ago

My wife is in her mid 40s and hasnt figured it out yet. Constantly pissed at the company she works for screwing over people in her position with more and more responsibility for no pay increase. An opportunity came up and it was going to be rather inexpensive to open a competing business three miles down the road and it would have screwed over the company she works for, and she won't even let me look into it. She will never get by at her current job.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Then: Work hard and you'll be rewarded for your efforts!

Now: HaRd WoRk Is NoT vAlUAbLe WoRk. EfFoRt DoEs NoT eQuAl OuTcOme!

At least we're being honest now.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

The sad thing is that I was significantly younger when I realised it vs when I knew how to change myself (into doing the "wrong" thing).

[–] Thcdenton 8 points 5 months ago

Don't be a doormat, but be nice and take a little time to be a bro at work. I've been given many great opportunities because I tried to be nice. As long as you're competent and you care, you don't even need to be competitive.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Funnily enough, I was well aware of this while I was young, and planning on not participating and dying young. Somehow I still got suckered in for 10 years of service before I woke up again.

[–] RememberTheApollo_ 7 points 5 months ago

Oh, way too young. Grade school. I didn’t give up on the nice part, but I realized that extra work got a brief notice - and you constantly had to apply more effort to get that notice, the rest of the time you were the same as anyone else. So why work extra all the time for little reward? Guess I’m not very approval- or reward-driven.

Been in union gigs for decades now. You do your work, do it right because that’s what you do, and you get paid pretty well. Generally nobody’s in your business offering or retracting rewards based on how they feel about you or your work.

[–] edgemaster72 7 points 5 months ago

Well, my original plan was "time to go to college now, this should be just as easy as school was up until senior year, but I was just coasting and certainly that won't be a sign of things to come"

Narrator: it was

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

26 late enough not to make me completely cynical... enough to make me highly cynical hehehehe

sadly enough, it was my own fam taking advantage of my good will that flipped the switch for me

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

As soon as we started having group projects in like 6th grade.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Not sure of the exact age, but around 2 years from when I started working.

load more comments
view more: next ›