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O.J. Simpson, former football star acquitted of murder, dies at 76. (abcnews.go.com)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by 18_24_61_b_17_17_4 to c/news

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[–] misterundercoat 222 points 8 months ago (1 children)

In an odd coincidence, the real killer reportedly died at the exact same time.

[–] SpruceBringsteen 52 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Norm?

[–] ChunkMcHorkle 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

deleted by creator

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago

I didn't fully get Norm's comedy until I learned

he intentionally held the joke too long as a schtick
he had little fear
he didn't worry about dead silence
he'd do the dumb shit just for the experience of being the guy to do that

It's becoming clearer now. It seems the only experience he kept to himself is the one that took him.

[–] samus12345 165 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"On April 10th, our father, Orenthal James Simpson, succumbed to his battle with cancer."

Asked to comment, the cancer claimed innocence and vowed to catch the real killer.

(that one's for you, Norm)

[–] CosmicCleric 29 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

If the cancer type does not fit, then you must acquit.

[–] samus12345 25 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I was looking into the people involved, and Don Ohlmeyer, the guy who had Norm fired from SNL in 1998 for his OJ jokes, died of cancer in 2017. Norm did in 2021. And now OJ. Fuck cancer (and also OJ).

[–] CosmicCleric 15 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Man, jokes aside, fuck cancer.

Amen/Fucking-A.

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[–] ooterness 144 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Finally, OJ can rest knowing his wife’s killer is dead.

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[–] [email protected] 119 points 8 months ago (1 children)

He's driving his Bronco in heaven now

[–] Serinus 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The best use of AI.

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[–] EdibleFriend 89 points 8 months ago (4 children)

This just makes me miiss Norm McDonald

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 58 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (29 children)

Here's a montage, if anyone wants to see some of the OJ jokes that got him fired from SNL

(Link fixed!)

[–] [email protected] 48 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

He knew he would be fired if he didn't stop. He didn't stop. That absolute legend.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 8 months ago

Rest In Piss

[–] Ghostalmedia 57 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Me in high school watching the Bronco chase:

“Fuck, this asshole is going ruin the Naked Gun movies for me now.”

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 8 months ago (2 children)

One of the football greats, but the whole murder thing was a real bad look tbh

[–] negativeyoda 32 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I would have led with murderer who happened to play football well, but that's just me

[–] [email protected] 57 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That makes no sense considering he was a terrible amateur murderer, but an incredible pro football player.

If Lebron died would you list him as an actor who happened to play basketball??

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Bye Norbert. Too bad you turned out to be a cunt.

[–] Cold_Brew_Enema 13 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I know, it sucks. Naked Gun is one of my favorites, and he was great in it. Too bad he turned out to be a shithead.

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[–] Lifecoach5000 51 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The other thread got deleted but @[email protected] threw down this gem that cracked me up

[–] samus12345 31 points 8 months ago

"If I Did It" by CANCER

[–] NOT_RICK 47 points 8 months ago

One of the few times where you root for the cancer

[–] dhork 44 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It will be interesting to see what the Bills do. He played a bit before my time, but he was a big part of the Bills identity in the 70s.

I've heard lots of stories about how good OJ was at knifing through the backfield....

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Are we still doing "phrasing"?

[–] dhork 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I phrased that perfectly, thank you very much.....

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Yes, you did. 🤌

[–] LEDZeppelin 23 points 8 months ago

Oh nooo……who will the news channels reach out to now when they desperately need legal advice on critical issues like should it be illegal to pay hush money payment to a pornstar to influence the election outcome?

Such a tragedy

[–] Passerby6497 20 points 8 months ago

They finally squeezed the Juice.

[–] son_named_bort 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Did he ever find the killer like he said he would?

[–] metallic_substance 24 points 8 months ago

He did though! Every morning when he got up, he stared him in the face as he brushed his teeth

[–] FlyingSquid 14 points 8 months ago

Good riddance.

[–] Canopyflyer 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

I was wondering why the world felt like it was a better place.

I'm glad that cancer was finally able to shake the OJ Simpson disease and is feeling much better.

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe 13 points 8 months ago

Good.

[–] Pronell 12 points 8 months ago (13 children)

I personally think he was guilty and that the jury made the right decision. Such a fucking mess.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, the lawyer did a great job creating "reasonable doubt." I think if we want a justice system that defaults toward innocence, we have to be willing to let a murderer out on the streets for every 100 innocents who also walk. I'd rather have that result than jailing 100 innocents so we can catch the one murderer.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (6 children)

I really don't think the doubt was reasonable. At least I'm 100% certain he was guilty and was ever since I watched the car chase. The cops fucking up the investigation has no impact on what I saw with my own eyes.

An innocent rich man doesn't fucking run away from the cops and have to be talked out of suicide to face trial. No fucking way.

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[–] kadu 18 points 8 months ago (2 children)

You think so? I don't know... I mean, he did publish a book that detailed exactly how the crime happened and why but the title is called "If I Did It" not "I Did It" so we can't be sure...