this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 71 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Remember folks, shoot them before they become famous. No one cares about the death of a nobody.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

Wasn't Regan an actor before becoming president? I'm gonna need more crystals to travel that far back.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't think getting that amount of crystals will be that difficult. A quick Go Fund Me, should be more than sufficient.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or just move to an Oklahoma trailer park. Everyone makes crystals round these parts

[–] Anticorp 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A time machine that runs on meth? I guess that's a lot cheaper than a time machine that runs on cocaine.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 3 points 11 months ago

That's called cocaine and it only takes you to the future.

[–] Buddahriffic 8 points 11 months ago

Time travel to one of his movies and swap out the fake bullets for real ones and then he'll still be more famous than just a regular movie star but for a different reason.

If you can arrange it to work out just like Brandon Lee's death, you could also save him by ensuring safety standards account for that kind of movie gun accident and we'd have more kung fu movies, too.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You got to get him in like 1968 or something.

[–] xantoxis 62 points 11 months ago (3 children)

He was in a lot of westerns, just replace the blanks in a gun

[–] EdibleFriend 64 points 11 months ago (2 children)

......oh fuck. What did Baldwin inadvertently save us from?

[–] Hotdogman 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] HowManyNimons 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] EdibleFriend 18 points 11 months ago

NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!

[–] afraid_of_zombies 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Whatever it was, it was deemed worse than the 3rd Reich.

[–] EdibleFriend 4 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

Sending Alec Baldwin back in time to produce one of his films

[–] superduperenigma 11 points 11 months ago

"Bedtime for Bonzo, motherfucker."

🔫🤠

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 30 points 11 months ago (1 children)

She's even double-tapping to make sure. Professional job.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Double? Ima mag dump him

[–] Adalast 26 points 11 months ago (2 children)

To do this properly: sneak onto a set of one of his western movies and swap a blank for a live round.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Are you implying that Alec Baldwin's 2024 presidential campaign was sabotaged by a time traveler?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Halyna Hutchins would’ve been the target. Baldwin is just the body, in a Quantum Leap-style time travel.

She wasn’t US born though so she can’t be president. She was born in Ukraine.

[–] Tangent5280 1 points 11 months ago

2024? Any self respecting time travelling assassin would leave more time for corrections.

[–] SPRUNT 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is why we never got President Brandon Lee.

[–] JargonWagon 1 points 11 months ago
[–] TheGrandNagus 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Now do this but with Thatcher

[–] cynar 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Given the current state of our government, I'd rather give Thatcher the gun and introduce her to the current conservatives.

And yes, I would also fully support exhuming her body, moving it up north somewhere and setting it up as a public urinal.

[–] TheGrandNagus 8 points 11 months ago

Thatchers government was filled with morons too

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Now that's what'll impress Jodie Foster.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Given how he responded to the HIV crisis you might be right.

[–] ShortFuse 15 points 11 months ago

I, too, hate when people don't use "whom" though this appears to be too much.

[–] FrowingFostek 12 points 11 months ago

Now do Milton Friedman

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

While she's at it I hope she goes back and takes out McCarthy also.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Nixon and Henry Kissinger as well.

Worst case scenario: Cambodia is functional country with a lot more people, Vietnam war ends a full five years earlier with the South being autonomous, Pakistan has less nukes, and the world is bored of our monthly landings on Moon and Mars.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That all sounds good to me, I'm ready for my Moon mansion.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Blame Nixon canceling the program to spite Kennedy. Some people are just fucked up.

He literally got exactly what he wanted. He was president, but that wasn't enough. He had to punish a dead man and to do it he trashed what is arguably the most successful government project of US history and the greatest engineering achievement of the human race. He justified it by tax cuts but the sick thing was he could have had his tax cuts for the rich and still kept the program going. Everything was already designed! All that was required was a skeleton crew for maintenance.

It is amazing how little the GOP has changed in 50 years. It is not about getting certain policies or even just normal power lust. It is about attacking other people.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

So true and frightening - in some ways the GOP has actually gotten worse because now it's ONLY about attacking other people and trying to put the hurt on migrants and other struggling people. It's amazing to me anyone can possibly support them, given that they have no ethics and hate is their only platform.

[–] Buck 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345 9 points 11 months ago

"Whom" is dying, and for good reason. It has no need to exist. "Who" is completely understandable to use instead.

[–] Buddahriffic 3 points 11 months ago

Or go back in time to make sure the guy that did shoot Reagan is better trained. Maybe get him a full auto pistol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (3 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] afraid_of_zombies 6 points 11 months ago

It's funny but I do wonder why history got rewritten to make people think that the 3rs Reich did much for space travel.

10k people dead in production, 15k people enslaved, more than 80 USD billion spent, 9 years of production. And the only thing they showed for it was going from a single stage to a two stages. Something some civilian university professors were already messing with. Meanwhile the bulk of "their" ideas were from elsewhere. Using fuel lines to cool, gyroscopes to stabilize, gravity priming...they took all that stuff from spies.

[–] omega_x3 7 points 11 months ago

What if all the failed Hitler assignations were time travelers showing up and messing everything up, and the one person that was successful made it look like suicide.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Hitler's destiny is already killing himself while malding and shitting himself, which is a miserable enough way to die. Lots of other assholes died quietly in bed though.

[–] Godric 2 points 11 months ago

BANG Oh no, Ronnie R's grammar Nazis go too, such sad collateral