this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 80 points 6 days ago (8 children)

Make like a tree, and get the fuck out

[–] ajmaxwell 14 points 5 days ago

People in glass houses sink ships

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Whatever bursts your boat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Make like a banana and leave.

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That's a really tough nut to swallow

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Does the pope shit in the woods?

[–] marlowe221 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Klear 5 points 5 days ago

And which one would you rather meet in the middle of a forest?

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

A bird in the hand is worth its weight in gold.

Icarus flew too close to the man in the moon.

Find a penny, pick it up. Would you like some making fuck?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago

BERSERKER!

Outstanding, friend. Got a laugh out of me.

[–] Olhonestjim 27 points 5 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Daffy Duck one said, "You buttered your bread, now sleep in it." And 10 year old me couldn't stop laughing.

[–] Cris_Color 23 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This makes me so happy, thanks for teaching me a word

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 days ago

i'n not the brightest bulb in the shed, but i sure am the sharpest!

[–] Maggoty 17 points 5 days ago

I used to say "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it." all the time! People didn't like it though.

[–] LanguageIsCool 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It’s like finding a needle in a camel’s back

[–] ivanafterall 6 points 5 days ago

Which is to say: a whole hell of a lot easier than a camel going through the eye of a needle, to quote JC.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I had a boss who said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck his ass to make him drink."
I... I just... Can't.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butchers ass, but I'd rather take the bulls word for it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

What the fuck is this from? I know this quote; the unflipped one

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[–] sumguyonline 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Those that live in glass houses can throw the first stone.

[–] ladicius 10 points 6 days ago

Don't throw glasses in a stone house.

[–] Orbituary 14 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Malaphors? I call these Rickyisms.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's all water under the fridge.

[–] Orbituary 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Exactly. Making these things up ain't rocket appliances.

[–] kautau 10 points 5 days ago

And there’s so many out there already you can use the existing ones and teach others; get two birds stoned at once

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Rickyisms are modern day malapropisms, named for Mrs Malaprop from the 1775 play The Rivals by Sheridan, rather than malaphors.

The difference being a malaphor is a mixed up idiom like the examples in the post and a malapropism is substituting a word in a common saying or idiom for a similar sounding one. For example, "finding an escape goat" or "I resemble that remark".

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[–] BetaBlake 8 points 5 days ago

Worse case Ontario I get to tell you I toad a so, I fuckin a toad a so.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 12 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I've made my omelette, now I've got to sleep in it. If you lead a horse to water, you can make it fish.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The fish one is making me laugh

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[–] LouNeko 12 points 5 days ago

Those who dig others a grave shouldn't throw rocks.

[–] Noodle07 1 points 3 days ago

My favorite one in French that I use all the time: c'est l'hôpital qui se fout de la charrue avant les bœufs

[–] LengAwaits 11 points 5 days ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

You're barking up the wrong metaphor

[–] SPRUNT 6 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

one of my favourites is "the sharpest bulb in the box"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

From the TV show Angel.

Harmony, vampire ex-cheerleader

"You're preaching to the horse's mouth!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

i like to say "das leben ist kein ponyschlecken" and "das leben ist kein zuckerhof".

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

You made my day, now you have to sleep in it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago

She looks like she's been through the run of the mill

[–] BodePlotHole 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Does the pope shit in the woods?

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[–] over_clox 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You can lead a whore to water, but you can't make her douche.

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[–] extratone 6 points 5 days ago

You can't have your cake.

[–] bitchkat 4 points 5 days ago

You can't crack an omelet without making eggs.

[–] CptOblivius 3 points 5 days ago

What ever floats your goat.

[–] Eww 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Not the brightest knife in the tool room.

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[–] dont 5 points 5 days ago

For those of you speaking German: Hast du enen Scherzkeks gefrühstückt?

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