this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

This is why every other picture on my phone is my dick. Swipe at your own risk mfers.

[–] abaddon 2 points 9 hours ago

Eh, no one will spend the time to zoom in that much, you're safe.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

A gentle reminder that Jerry Seinfeld is pro-genocide, and his wife financially supported a counter protest to those speaking out against Palestinian civilians being slaughtered.

https://tribune.com.pk/story/2464751/jerry-seinfelds-wife-sparks-debate-with-5000-donation-at-pro-israel-rally

[–] [email protected] -1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I'm so sick of it just nuke Palestine and Israel together it's over

[–] trolololol 1 points 7 hours ago

Or we can nuke the countries that send arms to Israel and in a day they'll tone down their crazy.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Later on, George swipes when she shows a picture to get even, finds out she supports the wrong baseball team, and spends the rest of the episode trying to break up with her without revealing whybecause she'd find out that he swiped.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 3 points 14 hours ago

That's why I'd never date a US girl. I could never tell if she supported the right or the wrong baseball team.

[–] Katana314 26 points 1 day ago (5 children)

It would be fun to make a “No Swipe Image Viewer” app that lets you pick an image to share - and then presents some searing penalty like a screamer to anyone who swipes to the side.

Just be warned, not for the elderly or faint of heart.

[–] trolololol 1 points 7 hours ago

Venture capitalists will be knocking on your door for you to lead a new start up

[–] dual_sport_dork 1 points 13 hours ago

This already exists. Probably several of them.

I had one back in the day that would allow you to pick an arbitrary selection of images from your gallery and would only display those. Ninja Snap, I think it was called. If the holder tried to swipe beyond this it would respond by taking pictures of whoever is holding the phone via the selfie cam (inevitably pictures of them up their nose, given how they're likely to be holding the phone) and eventually start admonishing them for being an assmunch and violating the trust of whoever's phone it was.

Anyway, Focus lets you do this in a less trollworthy manner. It also has an option to lock you phone if someone hits the home button trying to get to other apps or snoop around in other stuff. Several other Gallery replacement apps do, as well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

I just tell people "don't swipe unless you wanna see my dick" and that usually does it.

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[–] 69420 171 points 2 days ago (28 children)
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[–] [email protected] 92 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Never hand a boomer your phone. Especially an elderly boomer, and especially if that boomer is your mother. They will always start swiping. It's like their brain just deflates. Their eyes glaze over. They get this wide, tranquil smile, as if to say, "Hot dawwg! This boundless collection of photos I've been handed is going to be a real treat!", and they just start swiping. They just start fucking swiping.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I love that my gallery app has a "guest view". I can select some photos, tap "guest view" and hand someone my phone. They can then only swipe across these photos, and if they try to leave the app the lock screen comes up.

[–] wurstgulasch3000 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What app is that and does it exist on android?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Ente Photos, it's on both Android and iOS

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just make every second image in your phone this GIF:

Get some Operant Conditioning in them.

[–] nobleshift 2 points 1 day ago

Christmas Morning thanks you for this so very very much.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 days ago (6 children)

My boomer mother swiped too far on her own phone when she was showing me something

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[–] LovableSidekick 18 points 2 days ago (3 children)

As a boomer fully versed in modern phone usage I resent this unwarranted collective slur.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I apologize for any offense I may have caused, but I believe your presence here is no coincidence. You have to be the messenger. Please pass it along to the others via email chain letter, or perhaps more effectively, state that Mark Zuckerberg has changed the rules of Facebook and requires all users to automatically swipe when handed people's phones. That should be effective in getting Aunt Joyce to do the exact opposite.

[–] LovableSidekick 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Pass it on yourself, I haven't used FB in at least 10 years. I'm guessing you don't eat avocado toast either. Stereotypes are stupid aren't they.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

The other guy is right, I'm just goofing on the stereotype. You accessing Lemmy is plenty of proof that the stereotype is a bad generalization. Sorry for pissing you off!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Stereotypes are stupid, but also I believe that the user you're replying to is being facetious and already making fun of the stereotypes.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago

She's a swiper, Jerry!

[–] FlyingSquid 14 points 1 day ago

"I tried to stop her, Jerry! I tried!"

[–] SkunkWorkz 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you have an iPhone you can turn on Guided Access mode by triple clicking the power button.

In guided access mode you can disable touch.

https://support.apple.com/en-us/111795

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

:O crazy. I know us droids also have a guided access thing too but I'm not sure if we can disable touch

[–] Im_old 80 points 2 days ago (11 children)

That's why you slightly zoom in on a pic before showing it to someone.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 days ago

My god you're a genius.

You're also hiding something, but still, genius.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

"What is the deal with swiping on other people's phones?"

[–] aesthelete 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)

The League already did something about this...and yes it was basically a more modern version of Seinfeld.

It used what I call the "four psychopaths" format. Seinfeld invented it and...it's always sunny in philadelphia uses the same format.

[–] kameecoding 15 points 1 day ago

IASIP is Seinfeld cracked up to 11, in some episodes quite literally

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[–] PP_BOY_ 42 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)
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