Teleport to Vatican the moment a mass happen right in front of the pope. Then claim to be the second coming of Jesus Christ.
this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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The closest Galactic Senate.
If one doesn't exist then teleport me to where one used to be. Let me see intelligent life. Or at least the remnants of one for a few seconds before I die.
Can't I get a return trip? It's going to be annoying to get a train or plane to take me home.
To nearest Black Hole and die.
The sun.
If it allowed me to teleport between dimensions as well, definitely moving to that one parallel Earth where everything is peaceful, prices are cheap, and everything is seemingly perfect (except for the lottery system where a small group of people die if they win in a population control sort of scheme). Don't take a lot of money and your odds of being picked are low.
Though, if it only worked for this world, probably just use it once to get to the kitchen faster at a random time because I can't use it to get to college because of my class schedule. That, and I'm pretty sure my parents would find it suspicious if I suddenly teleported to a store and called either needing a ride or they cannot find me, especially if I don't give them a heads up.
What's the nearest planet with an Earth-like atmosphere? Any particular star clusters that have a higher likelihood of harboring a civilization? If I can go anywhere, I'm taking a gamble and trying to find aliens. Even if I fail to find intelligent life, I'm already at a point where struggling to survive on an alien planet sounds better.
Have fun dying from space amoeba.
- Put on gorilla suit
- Teleport to the ISS for the second time
Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we're about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let's make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it's a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.
Just teleport inside him then. Telefrag his ass.
Oh my God I fucking miss Unreal Tournament. Modern epic games sucks so so much.
If that works i guess. I'd hate there to be anti-clipping or something.
Wish fulfilled and you get teleported between two floors and your just stuck like Robin Williams in Jumanji
Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I would predict success, martyrdom (75% chance) and impressive headlines. :D
If you could convince his bodyguards that the main computer of an alien spaceship sent you as a sick joke to prevent nuclear war, they might spare you for bargaining. Whether you'd be spared long enough for revolution to happen and get home - not sure.
As a practising anarchist, I would also volunteer, my everyday items even include several cans of pepper spray, a multitool and a heavy laptop with a detachable battery (to commit some battery).
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Teleport myself into Putin to do the world a favour
Imagine being the one who has to explain that Putin died when another person burst forth from his body like an alien.
"Look, nobody's going to believe I just materialized here as opposed to evading your security check. How about we work together on getting out of here by blaming Gerasimov or Shoigu?"
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A snowy, ruralish place in Canada that I love a lot, which may or may not be my home.
Hmmmm. Works only once... has a 24 hours deadline... only transports matter...
Look, I'll take it for $5. And I'm already taking lots of risk.
to an alternate universe where magic is real and big titty anime girls want to form a party with me.
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The International Space Station. The sheer confusion value would be amazing, particularly if I stayed quiet about how it happened ("I went to bed, then woke up floating here. I've no clue how it happened").
I would get to cause a major incident of complete chaos, with little to no harm. I would get to experience space and weightlessness. I would also get a near guaranteed lift home (eventually). There's also almost no way it could be kept quiet, so I get to be a minor celebrity for a while.
This has the possible downside of you being dissected for the benefit of science. One human life for the possibility of discovering the ability to teleport? The astronauts/cosmonauts on the ISS would know about you, but you'd never make the news.
Not too bad of a downside. I'd have myself dissected if it meant people I cared about would have a chance at figuring out teleportation.
"Hey some guy just showed up here and no one knows about it."
"Cool, lets put him out the airlock and see if he freezes like in that movie"
Scientists are not good at keeping secrets, particularly not of this level. Also, the ISS is remarkably public. It would be obvious they were hiding something, at the very least.
Would I expect to spend some time "volunteering" in a research lab, more than likely. I doubt it would get to dissection level. The risk/cost would be low enough that I would take it.
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with little to no harm
Not sure how resource allocation works and how quickly you could be sent back to earth but someone may have to be sacrificed.
There's always an excess of resources, just in case of spacecraft failure.
There are actually already extra crew up there from the recent Boeing failure.
SpaceX would definitely benefit from having to come get you, since they're the only launch company with a good track record, and spare capacity. (Unless you're Russian, which means you'd probably be shot and stuffed in the garbage section of Soyuz)
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The US house of representatives, just to say "I bring a dire warning from the future"
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I'd go to the basement of the guy's mom from that other post about only storing 100GB and steal his 130PB SAN.
Ackshualllly, it was only 120PB, TYVM
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I guess to work. It takes me 2 days of travelling to get to work and I have to be there. Assuming I can't return via teleporting from the moon or whatever. Just save myself a days travel
So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I'd open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.
Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I'm going to materialize naked live in air screaming "the end is nigh unless we repent" and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.
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