this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/lemmyshitpost
 

I am supportive of you being Canadian

top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] owenfromcanada 108 points 2 months ago (6 children)

"What's your gender?"

"Canadian."

"No, who do you like?"

"Donuts."

"No no, what's in your pants?"

"Polite manners."

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."

"Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"

[–] JimVanDeventer 8 points 2 months ago

Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"what's in your pants?"

"a party you're not invited to"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 8 points 2 months ago

"a hockey knife"

[–] andshit 17 points 2 months ago

Doughnuts**

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.

[–] owenfromcanada 1 points 2 months ago

Surprise, I'm both!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago
[–] GrymEdm 50 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.

I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I was sick and family was busy. So I missed thanksgiving this year.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2

[–] raynethackery 3 points 2 months ago

Why isn't the first option?

[–] muyessir 15 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

[–] capt_wolf 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I think he said moose and squirrel!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

No spoilers please!

[–] raynethackery 1 points 2 months ago

Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

[–] militaryintelligence 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.

[–] micka190 2 points 2 months ago

Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

LGBTQIAC

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex Asexual Canadian

[–] ZeffSyde 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:

Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.

[–] Jiggle_Physics 5 points 2 months ago

those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

[–] ekZepp 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dozzi92 3 points 2 months ago

I'm an American. I actually like America, for what it's worth. Canada, however, has the superior anthem.

[–] jaybone 6 points 2 months ago

Is this Windows95?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large

[–] not_woody_shaw 4 points 2 months ago

And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

[–] LovableSidekick 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.