this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2024
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Mildly Infuriating

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So as you can see in the picture, I threw a party last year. AEW is a pro wrestling company, much like WWE. They had this big outdoor show at Wembley Stadium in London. Sold something like 80,000 tickets. We watched live on PPV.

It's the first time I ever threw a wrestling watch party. I invited 4 people. I bought cheese, soft pretzels, bought chips/queso. I had vodka, whiskey, beer, and 3 different THC vape pens along with edible gummies. I also had coke (the soda), barqs root beer, and one of the special novelty mountain dew flavors.

I cooked chicken, and cut the cheese into cubes with individual toothpicks. I got out my good plates. And used the projector to make the screen 90 inches.

Only 2 people showed up. Nobody ate hardly anything. Nobody drank anything. Hardly anything was said. This picture was taken AFTER the party. We went through 1 bag of chips, and 1 1/2 jars of queso.

I literally could have just bought 1 bag of chips, 2 jars of queso, and saved $100 and 2 days of prep work.

I even had 2 different styles of BBQ sauce for the chicken.

Yes, it's a year later, and I'm still mildly infuriated over it!

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[–] Exusia 131 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

That's fucked up I'm sorry, I'd have eaten an entire plate of cheese hors d'vors myself and taken half that chicken with me afterwards. I'm not even into wrestling and I'd have come for that food.

You're a good friend for providing that for a watch party (on top of paying for ppv) and I'm sorry your friends don't appreciate how well you maintain your half of the bridge. The least the 2 could have done is tried the cheese and chicken.

Edit holy shit are those pre stuffed pretzel bites. Bro wtf is wrong with these people I'd have asked if anyone wanted any and eaten the entire plate. (I may or may not have portion control issues but seriously, they didnt touch any of that delicious looking food)

[–] Lost_My_Mind 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yep, and they were locally sourced from a bakery. I think they cost about $25, and I put them in the convection oven at a low tempature. Not enough to cook them, but enough for them to be always warm, with melty cheese inside.

Edit: oh, and that stack of 2 plates? It was 3 plates. I used a plate for the chicken, and cheeses. I also had a few beers, and some jack n cokes.

The other 2 plates, their plates, you can see were unused. Everybody just ate chips off the orange serving platter.

[–] I_Clean_Here 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

hors d'oeuvre

You can keep your horse devorse

[–] whostosay 14 points 1 month ago

I'll see you in horse court

[–] FuglyDuck 72 points 1 month ago (8 children)

That’s…. A lot of chicken. Even for four peeps.

I’m sorry you went to all that trouble, though.

I’d drop a few recipes for what to do with it… but uhm, I hope that chicken is long gone by now, heh.

Side note, you need better friends! Pro wrestling isn’t my jam, at least I’d hang out. Maybe shout insults at the heel or something.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Hang out, vape the THC, devour that chicken! OP, this is amazing hosting!

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[–] GraniteM 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's a tough lesson I learned about trying to get my friends into board games: It's easier to turn gamers into your friends than it is to turn your friends into gamers. I've learned that some of my friends are never going to share my interests as much as I'd like, but that just means I needed to find people who were already in whatever hobby and start hanging out with them and some of them will eventually be your real friends.

Making and keeping friends as an adult is way more difficult than it seems it should be, but it's a painful reality.

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[–] electric 47 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Shit that looks delicious but maybe they just weren't hungry (could have eaten before). And I don't mean to disrespect you but you did not have to do this much for watching a wrestling game. Though it does suck 2 people flaked.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also, having been on the other side of such a situation: it's not cool to pressure or guilt trip your guests. Either be hospitable and let them do whatever they want, or don't invite them.

If people aren't hungry, then they aren't hungry. Maybe they are on a diet, maybe they misunderstood OP's intention and ate beforehand. Maybe they are recovering from something and don't want to eat too much.

And as for the two that did not showed up. It's a good practice to reconfirm the night before. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes life gets in the way.

If they did reconfirm and still didn't show up and did not have a good excuse, then I would start looking for better friends.

Hope OP has better success next time. I do understand that the situation sucks.

But it's also a situation that, in my opinion, is preventable.

[–] Carighan 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And as for the two that did not showed up. It’s a good practice to reconfirm the night before. Sometimes people forget. Sometimes life gets in the way.

It's why for board gaming, nowadays we plan on this weird mix of snacks: Most is just bagged stuff so we can always not open bags, and the little fresh stuff that there is - usually one guy who loves to bake - is not done just for that evening, he makes a whole lot, brings some to board gaming and the rest goes to colleagues in the office.

And if we know before hand that nobody has eaten but we all want a major meal, we'll order something and in turn plan for even less snacks.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So I have a friend that sounds a bit like OP.

He plans some event and invites a few people (including myself). I said I already had plans, but would try and make it if my other plans ended early.

Weekend comes around and he prepares a preposterous amount of food for everyone. Like enough to feed a family for an entire month.

My other plans don’t end up ending early, so I wasn’t able to make it. He then sends me pics of all the food that hadn’t been eaten and does this little guilt trippy dance he always does: “my friends and I were really excited to have you join us, guess I gotta throw all this away now”

Like bro…I never said I could go in the first place! And even if I was there, there is no WAY I’d be eating all that food lmao.

I really don’t understand this behavior. It’s like they get a pleasure out of playing the victim constantly.

Not saying this is you, OP. Just wanted to vent a little bit haha

[–] Carighan 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I will add that while I don't know OP's friends that seems like a ridiculous amount of food for just 5 people, unless you know they're skipping their main meal that day before. And you need to confirm that, something I learned with organizing board gaming. You can't just assume people will be hungry/thirsty.

It sounds silly, because we have this assumption that we should "just have enough stuff" (and being hungry right now, the stuff in the OP pic looks yummy!), but we're also not throwing a kid's birthday party, we can just ask and collectively organize and plan.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago

You're a good host, sorry to hear this

[–] rsuri 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is why I always eat all the food I can at a party. Everyone else is being too polite and someone's gotta eat all that food.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

It's a tough job

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

cut the cheese into cubes with individual toothpicks

Jeez, next time just use a knife my dude.

[–] ZoopZeZoop 35 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Two things:

  • Did your friends know you were going to have a bunch of food and they were expected to eat it?
  • Was your party at a time that people normally eat?

I find that if it's too early/late or if you didn't tell them what was expected, your results are suboptimal. Could just be your friends, though.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I don't know if that makes you feel better, but for my 40th birthday I invited 20 people, prepared accordingly, and 3 showed up.
Not even my wife was there, cause she ate too much of the dough for the weed brownies she had made for the occasion.
She crashed half an hour before the guests showed up.

We sat around the table, emptied a couple bags of chips, I was the only one who drank beer. My friends left after 2 hours.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Doesn't so much make me feel better, it just makes me want to hug you.

[–] ThePyroPython 10 points 1 month ago

It's ok, not every social event is going to go well and most of the time it's nothing personal, we're all just kind of bumbling along through the confusing and absurd reality that is life.

May I join this group hug?

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[–] friend_of_satan 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't be discouraged. This may not have worked out like you hoped and planned, but keep doing awesome things. Somebody will love you for it and you'll have a lot of fun.

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[–] clif 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I feel your pain.

Years ago I threw a party for work friends and acquaintances where I had 30 confirmed and 10 tentative (from calendar invite). I bought a variety of drinks (alcoholic and non) and bought/cooked food for about 50 to ensure there was plenty.

... 4 people showed up.

That was the instant that I stopped giving a fuck. Ever since then I've adopted the approach of "I'm going to do something, you can come if you want, but I'm not planning for you". Or, more commonly, I just don't organize anything :)

EDIT: I should note that this was a recurring yearly party that got bigger and bigger over 5 years until it just died. Pre COVID.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's still way too much food even if everyone came. And everyone never comes.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

I always get self conscious about eating at parties, but fuck if only 1 other person showed up beside me I'm gonna eat at least two people's worth.

[–] K1nsey6 23 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I feel your pain, several years ago I made Thanksgiving dinner for about 15 friends, everything prepped the day before, and we had a hard ice that night, everything frozen over and no one showed

[–] Lost_My_Mind 16 points 1 month ago

Ah, that sucks too. At least you can take solace in the knowledge that it was unsafe to drive. Still sucks, but it's a bit less insulting. My thing was on a sunny August day.

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[–] Mescalito 23 points 1 month ago

What you did for your friends was great. I would have absolutely appreciated you doing this if you were my friend and invited me. That said, one of the things I've noticed after covid is that a lot of people are already going to go home after gatherings. Getting baked/drinking might be an issue with that. Were your friends driving by chance?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

I have the wrong friends.

Jokes aside, that's way too much food for 5 people.

Secondly, from a guy's standpoint, that's way too much prep work for a guys gathering/sport watching, it's almost weird. It's not a house party, all you need is something casual like chips and beers, then if anyone feels hungry you order some pizza or wings delivered (based on what everyone preferred at the time).

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Communication is key, and you seem to be struggling in that department.

[–] HootinNHollerin 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Gotta invite more than 4 people

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I would say 8, if you want 4 to show up.

I generally plan on 50% turn out for informal events

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Can we please be friends? I'll make sure those lovely snacks don't go to waste. I can bring two grackles, a bluejay, and a couple of raccoons to fill out the party. Oh, and my wife!

[–] AA5B 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Oh man, I did not need to read this now …..

I have people coming over today. They cancelled on a previous weekend and are hemming and hawing. The event is that I have a smoker and and want to make all kinds of new foods. I have $100 of meat, an elaborate salad and sides. Dessert also goes on the smoker. I just want someone to help eat.

This weekend’s feast is duck. Dry brined, stuffed with oranges, and smoked. Or chicken, to bribe a picky eater to come.

But it’s cold and rainy so the outdoor seating is out and I don’t really have space inside . I have an afternoon of cooking ahead that I was so excited for but have lost my motivation, dreading wasted time and money if they don’t show up

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[–] nifty 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I am sorry this was your experience, it’s an awesome and tasty spread, I would have loved to have been invited and would have eaten a lot of it haha

That said, I think some times disappointments like this happen because there’s some mismatch in people’s expectations of an event

I find that sometimes it also helps to let people know in advance that there will be food so they don’t eat beforehand. Sorry if you already mentioned this in the thread somewhere. I hope you make some more friends, but no need to officially break things off with anyone from this event. Just cool it with them for awhile I guess

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I literally could have just bought 1 bag of chips, 2 jars of queso, and saved $100 and 2 days of prep work.

Don't forget the beer, but YEAH! You way over prepared for five whole people. If you had invited 10ish, maybe 15 (because then 10 show up), then yeah, but this is waaaay too much for 5. Especially depending on your ages, they may not have expected such hospitality and ate beforehand if they weren't warned "hey come hungry and sober, there's food and libations abound," etc.

Don't give up, learn from this and adjust a little for next time! Just invite a few more, warn 'em of the full plans (food, booze, ykwim), or make less food. If you do it regularly (like say Football Sundays at your house) the event will grow and more food will be necessary, but start small! This looks like a good hang, I'd have joined for the food and I don't even like wrastlin', just needs some restructuring!

At least the booze and weed don't go bad!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I need friends like you. I would have eaten so much I felt ill. Then helped clean. (I love cleaning, I know I'm weird.)

In reverse, I'd never throw a party like that because my anxiety is exactly afraid it'll turn out like you said.

[–] 2ugly2live 15 points 1 month ago

I never understand posts like this. Someone could ask me to split a six piece nugget and I'm there. Sorry that you went through that, but it looks wonderful, and very thoughtful. They don't deserve you ❤️

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You need better friends. No, seriously, you do.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Why didn't you call me to fill one seat?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Well now you don’t have to cook for a couple days. Also, my rule of thumb is that 50% of invitees ever show, and of those only 50% will participate fully (i.e. not leave early, show up really late, have already eaten, etc.). It’s good to have more stuff on hand in the freezer or pantry, in case that equation isn’t exact. Then, you can prep some quickly to meet demand.

[–] whostosay 12 points 1 month ago

Hey man, you still did a great thing. Don't let that go to waste. You cared for people.

[–] Crashumbc 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

General rule of thumb, plan on less than half the people you invite actually showing up for any gathering.

Also... Wrestling....

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[–] Professorozone 11 points 1 month ago

I'm sorry this happened but if it makes you feel better, I'd totally love to come over there and chow down on all of that stuff.

[–] CondensedPossum 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

spread + AEW sounds like a great time OP I think its possible that your friends are not pro-level friends but maybe something else is amiss?

  • live in ohio
  • not good at video games
  • only know 4 girls, all have same name
  • the guys were all white dudes with beard + glasses, couldn't tell each other apart
  • invited mean guy

if not one of those try getting pro friends

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[–] irotsoma 10 points 1 month ago

When planning a party, I assume about 1/3 of the people I invite will RSVP and only 3/4 of them will show. I plan with that in mind. I also explicitly state the plans around food, drink, etc., and if they should come hungry or just expect snacks. And I make sure that I understand what other events or competing parties might be going on to help adjust expectations. Also, planning an annual/regular thing so that people get used to it being something they do every year helps, but it takes a couple of times to get it kickstarted.

Since I started doing that, I've had a lot fewer disappointing events. Event planning is a lot of work.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You needed to invite a lot more people and at least a few people who didn’t like wrestling.

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