this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 176 points 3 months ago (21 children)

Old Sleep Don is in a lose-lose situation here. If Dementia Don changes his mind and shows up, then the smart black woman will chew him up and spit him out because he's no match for her, not even close. If Drowsy Don doesn't show up, Harris can emphasize in every answer what a yellow-bellied chicken he is. Harris has outclassed him. He should give up and drop out, but his narcissistic weaknesses and crazy weirdness will force him to plow deeper into lame loser territory. Everyone get out and vote BLUE!

[–] NegativeInf 87 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Calling him a yellow-bellied chicken is disrespectful to chickens. He's a spineless draft-dodging coward.

[–] macarthur_park 62 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Hey, that’s disrespectful to draft dodgers and cowards.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 months ago

Yeah. Lots of people dodged the draft because of things like "I don't want to go bomb brown kids with napalm in a south Asian jungle". not "waaa my heels hurt :(" because you're a rich fuck who hasn't worked a day in his life.

[–] BreadstickNinja 18 points 3 months ago

As well as our invertebrate friends.

[–] NegativeInf 6 points 3 months ago

Valid points.

[–] cm0002 32 points 3 months ago (2 children)

He's a spineless

Oh, so it's cool to shit on invertebrates now then huh

[–] NegativeInf 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

True. SpongeBob, and the average jellyfish honestly, has more character and ethics than this shit-heel of an excuse for a political candidate could ever fathom.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

At least when the jellyfish act stupid its cause they dont even have a decentralized nervous system.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (3 children)

My money's on him using the phrase "nasty woman"

The real mystery is whether or not a candidate is gonna call another candidate a "bitch" during a live debate

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hopefully it’s Kamala calling him a little bitch

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

I would love to hear her call him a "whiny little bitch".

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[–] Red_October 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

He's just planning to push the "Rigged Election" line. Between his obvious insistence that the votes were rigged and now his inevitable claims that "They even had the debate without me," all of his shitty energy is going to be channeled into fabricating a casus belli for his next attempted Insurrection.

[–] Passerby6497 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It would be very funny to see them try to J6 when there's an actual defensive perimeter set up with no orders to fuck around and let them freely roam the capital.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

I think a lot of people are forgetting about this. Part of why J6 even got off the ground is because the POTUS and various other officials were complicit. Not so this time.

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[–] [email protected] 167 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Oh hey the Democrats are actually acting like they want to fucking win for once this election.

[–] FlexibleToast 89 points 3 months ago

Almost like the "young" candidate has more fight in her.

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's especially amusing that Trump is reduced to a sniveling ball of cowardice by someone the Republicans keep trying to characterize as a "DEI hire."

[–] [email protected] 69 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They won't do it, but it would be baller to set it up like a debate, and have the moderator prompt the empty Trump lecturn and have the camera hold on it for 5-10 seconds each time. It would effectively just be a Kamala campaign interview, but with a bit of shade casting between each question.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's really weird that Trump wouldn't go to the debate

[–] [email protected] 56 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Quite weird. Maybe it's because it would be past his bedtime? He IS the oldest candidate to ever run

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Hey, to be fair- he’s a busy guy. He has a lot of things going on. Maybe he’s planning to sexually assault someone that day. Or defraud investors. Or defraud banks. Or defraud campaign fund contributors. Or defraud a charity. Or start an insurrection. Or try to pressure a state government to overturn an election. Or try to blackmail a foreign government into producing dirt on his political opponent, or maybe he’s cheating on his wife. Or stealing government documents. Or selling government secrets to our enemies….

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 months ago

Absolutely. Dew it and give people your policy vs Project 2025.

Shit. Bring a Venn diagram or two and some belly laughs.

[–] Nobody 46 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It almost has to be Alec Baldwin doing Trump at the no-show debate. Recent complications aside, his impression has always been the definitive one.

[–] raef 28 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I feel like there's be some ethical, possibly legal, problem with presenting an imposter as an opponent at an official debate. It's a bad precedent. Besides, Baldwin comes with too much baggage right now

[–] dezmd 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Shane Gillis gets the Trump scumbaggery down just right.

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[–] Crowfiend 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Besides, ~~Baldwin~~ Trump comes with too much baggage right now

Really? baggage is what makes him worse than Trump?

[–] raef 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I didn't say he was worse than Trump, just that running a shoddy film production that culminated in him fatally shooting someone doesn't make him a good associate of a presidential candidate

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 months ago (3 children)

They need to do what BBC comedy show did one week when a politician guest didn't turn up and replace him with tub of lard.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Also more recently when Boris Johnson didn't want to show up for a climate change debate, Channel 4 replaced him with a slowly melting ice sculpture instead. This pissed him off so much he tried to privatise and sell off the whole station lol.

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[–] Nuke_the_whales 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Just put a big Mac on a chair and put Trump's nameplate under it

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[–] Nuke_the_whales 38 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Just put up a scarecrow with a Trump mask up on stage

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 19 points 3 months ago

Part of the joke is how the debate process has been entirely hijacked by the parties themselves. News networks used to host these events, now they just get filming rights. The League of Women Voters used to present a neutral venue, but the parties went behind the organization's back to set demands more appealing to the candidates.

Trump refusing to participate in any kind of debate is just the latest in a long history of hostage-negotiation style organizing. I suspect they'll end up on stage some time before November, after enough horse trading has taken place. But it'll be so canned and superficial as to hardly matter.

[–] crank0271 5 points 3 months ago

I think they call that a scareboomer.

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[–] JackiesFridge 37 points 3 months ago (9 children)

She should just be unfailingly chipper, start calling him "old man" all the time, and framing everything around his insecurities.

"How they danglin' Old Man?" "Let the women speak, Gramps." "This country's too big for those tiny hands, Old Man." "Step aside and go yell at a cloud." "Shouldn't you be lying about your golf scores somewhere?"

That's always his plan of attack, so you KNOW it works on him. Mockery and dismissal will have him weeping with frustrated confusion. We've already seen the best he's got is "No, YOU are."

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago

Trolls hate the light..bring it!!!!

[–] BrokenGlepnir 27 points 3 months ago

They are going to call her weird for this, then go back and watch Clinton Eastwood yell at a chair.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

i wonder which would be more entertaining.. him being there or not

i would hope shed play clips of his policies (hehe) from his own mouth at his rallies

.. just realized how sad it is i used the word 'entertaining'.. these things now seem far from informational

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

I would pay money to watch her debate a Conan O'Brien Clutch Cargo version of Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HItL9HhpP8

[–] Furbag 12 points 3 months ago

This is what they should do. Show up to a "debate", give Trump time to show up, start after a token amount of time has passed, and then just start answering the questions that the moderators ask with no need for a rebuttal. It turns from a debate into a televised town hall style presentation. Don't forget to interject that her opponent was too afraid to answer these questions at every opportunity.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

I'll bet Trump is looking for some of those injections he claimed Biden used.

[–] randon31415 11 points 3 months ago

Should debate kennedy, so it splits Trumps vote more. Kennedy already thinks he is working for Trump and will most likely drop out right before the election and endorse him.

[–] TropicalDingdong 8 points 3 months ago

She seems to have developed some good political instincts after her pretty milquetoast run in '20.

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