this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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[–] grue 159 points 2 months ago (4 children)

This is similar reasoning to how it's always been obvious to me that the "being gay is a choice" argument bigots make is complete bullshit. If it were a choice, who the fuck would willingly submit themselves to all that discrimination and suffering?!

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, all those Christians that are the victims of society for one. Them choosing the "difficult path of faith" explains at least part of the reason for why they are so unempathetic.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Them choosing the "difficult path of faith" explains at least part of the reason for why they are so unempathetic.

And why there are so many closeted homosexuals in their ranks.

It's easy to believe sexuality is a choice when you're constantly fighting your "deviant" urges.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 7 points 2 months ago

New finishing move unlocked: respond to haters with "being in the closet is a choice"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Religious people have been tortured horribly and killed for their religion while refusing to recant their beliefs, and religion is very much a choice. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that this argument isn't great.

[–] NikkiDimes 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

But the belief in religion like Christianity comes with an afterlife. If you truly believe that there is a heaven and hell, torture is not going to make you drop those beliefs. On the flip side, if being gay was a choice, all you're choosing is strife and being gay.

I think it's a perfectly fine argument.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That's true, to a degree, but it isn't instinctual. You don't have people staring into the mirror in the middle of the night trying to figure out why they feel Christian when they've never even seen a bible before.

The big "naturalist" angle on gay/trans issues I see is that there are plenty of bi/fluid people who could choose to lean one way or another exclusively. They kinda get erased simply because they don't have this deep instinctual impulse towards the taboo end of the spectrum.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Many religious people do argue that there is an instinct toward religious belief - the "God shaped hole", if you've heard the expression. There are stories of people feeling an intense sense that there must be some higher power, or something more than their daily life, although obviously they won't fixate on Christianity without prior exposure.

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

If it were a choice, who the fuck would willingly submit themselves to all that discrimination and suffering?!

That's where you really start falling down the rabbit hole and swallowing the "Being gay is a way to worship Satan" and "Homosexuality is a mind-virus created by the Communists to prevent the fittest western males from procreating" blackpills.

[–] grue 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"Homosexuality is a mind-virus created by the Communists to prevent the fittest western males from procreating" blackpills.

I'm just a random straight guy so I guess I'm not up to date on all the latest homophobic bullshit, but LOLWUT?

Given that anyone saying that is implying they think gay guys are the hottest guys, to me it sounds like more of a self-report than anything else.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

implying they think gay guys are the hottest guys

You don't have to be gay to recognize gay-me. Gay dudes are regularly the fittest, smoothest, most well dressed kids on the block.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Reminds me of gyms. Constantly lauded by the bigoted type but exist to make men burly and sexy and sweaty. lmao

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Homosexuality is a mind-virus created by the Communists to prevent the fittest western males from procreating

This is a lie by a homophobe and yet goes way harder than anything I've ever heard a gay person say

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[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago (4 children)

My sister's take has been that since trans women don't go through the pain of menstruation or giving birth, they have no right to suggest they "earned" being a woman.

I mean that and she thinks Disney became woke and they ruined her beloved 90s films. I remember talking about Putin and how he said the most Bond villain thing with "you in the west believe history is a struggle between oppression and freedom, I see it as a struggle between chaos and order". Her take is history is a struggle between modesty and debauchery and we've gone too far in the debauchery direction.

I love her, and she can surprise me with her humor, but overall she can turn into Angela from the office, but she's not even religious.

[–] [email protected] 116 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"earning" to be a woman sounds like the female equivalent to toxic masculinity

[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Terfs are the equivalent to toxic masculinity ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

True that, I never thought of it that way

[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Toxicity is Gender Neutral 🙌

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I really like this take but would argue that toxic masculinity and femininity affect society in different ways. Hmm. Toxic gender ideology maybe?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

For sure. There are many kinds of toxicity. Toxic gasses may affect you differently than inhaling silica dust, biological neurotoxins or rigid gender norms.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 2 months ago (4 children)

What are their thoughts on post op trans women? Because let me tell you, screaming pain in the hospital, pouring blood out my snatch (seriously it was so much), wearing pads every day, intense cramping from the catheter, abdominal pain for months, getting the stirrups and speculum treatment, I sure feel like I'd have 'earned' it by now

[–] nifty 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I feel like if someone wants to be a gender without surgery that’s a totally valid choice. I don’t get the expectations around having the “right” genitals. Who decides what’s right? It’s trying too hard to conform to an understanding of gender identity that’s now archaic.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

I agree completely, surgery is definitely not a requirement especially with how inaccessible it is for so many people. That logic doesn't seem to fly for the sister in question though so maybe an appeal to 'yeah but some trans people have earned it according to you' could get a foot in the door

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago

Or cis women who just don't get painful periods? Or those who decide to get rid of periods altogether with medication?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

When my wife was newly transitioned, we were out in a big box store and she remarks, exasperated, "everyone is just stopping in my way or way invading my personal space today! Wtf!"

Nope, thats just how people treat women in public lol.

You never needed to earn being yourself via suffering, no one owes that to anyone, but I have witnessed personally just how authentically the public mistreats all femme people.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

I came out in between jobs but the level of respect and my assumed competence changed dramatically. My favorite was always me suggesting a solution, I get deer in headlights stares, a guy suggests the same thing and suddenly it's all the rage. Thankfully this never really happens in my current job but the sexism is for real in a lot of ways I didn't understand until transitioning

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Not to mention the months of being stabbed in the genitals and taint with electrified needles just to get ready for the surgery and recovery.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I had to do that for over two years 😭

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I am so not looking forward to this part

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

My doc got me some serious topical shit from a compounding pharmacy : 30% benzocaine, 6% lidocaine, 6% tetracaine. Gotta put it on at scale and rub it in really thoroughly (use an exam glove for this so your fingers don't go numb), and cover it with plastic wrap. Do that an hour to 90 minutes before the appointment, and have a gummy on the way in.

That made it survivable for me, still not fun tho.

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[–] nifty 38 points 2 months ago

My sister’s take has been that since trans women don’t go through the pain of menstruation or giving birth, they have no right to suggest they “earned” being a woman.

What a bullshit pov since many people born as women don’t have children or menstruate, see this link

[link](https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/talking-about-periods-beyond-gender#:~:text=Some%20cisgender%20women%20(assigned%20female,who%20aren't%20cisgender%20women.)

Some intersex people don’t menstruate, what are intersex people? They can choose to express gender identity as they see fit. Therefore, it’s not black/white about “menstruate = woman”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I doubt women willingly "earned" their womanhood going through all that, and whose to say I'd rather not deal with periods and stuff over literally not being able to be myself in my own skin? Making friends is so difficult when half my mind is recognizing that they're gonna see the stubble no matter what I do and form opinions and assumptions on that alone.

[–] xantoxis 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is how I think about trans men. I'm a cis man, but I never liked men very much, I've just never thought of myself as anything else. A trans man--a person who would fight to be this gender? Reminds me that men have value too.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago

Turns out identity is pretty important.

[–] SkunkWorkz 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As if that “logic” would ever work on terfs. Case in point men hating lesbian terfs. If they hate men so much you’d think they would cheer on every man who wants to be a woman. Yet they hate trans women the hardest of all terfs.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Trans women, you see, are posers. They're evil perverted men who want to Infiltrate Women's Spaces™ to make us feel unsafe. They don't want to become women in any meaningful way. Men are evil by their very nature. As everyone knows, of course, the gene for being aggressive and hostile and lacking empathy is on the Y-chromosome. Any man who claims to want to try to become a woman is lying to gain your trust, and he's probably going to rape you down the line (or something idk I'm not a terf)

Trans men, though, them I will never understand. Why would anyone want to become an aggressive, angry, uncontrollable, lust-fueled monster unless they hated us and our cause and everything it stood for?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

I'm pretty convinced that the only people that care that a person is trans has issues with themselves and are projecting. I'm a cis normie and I never, ever think about my gender. It just is and I find these haters incredibly weird. I really feel for the people who do as that must be an incredibly difficult thing to work through, so why make it harder for them. Plus, seeing loved ones bloom after transitioning is all the proof I need. Hate takes effort.

[–] Bojimbo 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I think youre right for a lot of people, but conservative values require an out group. If it's not immigrants and transfolk, it's gonna be whomever else they can get people frothing at mouth over. Homeless people, mentally ill, it could be fucking left-handed folk. It's only the othering that matters.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Right-wingers are the kings of "NO U." https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactionary

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not every conservative that says you can choose your sexual orientation is gay, but that argument was started by a closeted gay conservative and was popularized by closeted gay conservatives. And that's the exact same story for most conservative bullshit. They all think they are the Standard Human™ and they feel some shame about part of themselves (because they aren't the Standard Human™) so they force that insecurity on everyone else. The rest of them follow suit as long as a line is already popular enough.

[–] SkyezOpen 9 points 2 months ago

Just ask if they wake up and choose to be straight every morning. If they say yes, then you understand them. If they say no, then tell them they understand how gay people feel.

The cognitive dissonance will kick in at this point, but maybe they'll understand. Maybe...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Same logic.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

And then everyone clapped. Based if true though. Cursed username however. 7.5/10

[–] nifty 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I want to belieeeeeve

Edit also what’s the username reference?

[–] Rolando 7 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Re: username: i was thinking this was just an instance of rimjobsteve

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