this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024

963 points (98.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26959 readers

3628 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

963

Jenkins. (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver to c/lemmyshitpost

74 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Zehzin 101 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Kids these days aren't even extratemporal enough to remember Jenkins smh

[–] DarkCloud 30 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Wait, I think I'm experiencing the Mandello effect...

[–] theangryseal 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It’s called the Mandeller effect. You’re trying to stir shit up, aren’t you?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Please, everyone knows it is the Momoa effect.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

*Don Melon effect.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That was before, now it's post melon

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

God I love lemmy

[–] samus12345 8 points 5 months ago

It's the Mengele Effect.

[–] lugal 81 points 5 months ago

[–] FlyingSquid 63 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I prefer this version:

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 68 points 5 months ago (1 children)

[–] TheLowestStone 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How would murdering a modern Scottish rock band stop the world wars?

[–] normalexit 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They asked to be taken out, what more do you need to go on?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I recently heard the song is about two snipers trying to shoot each other. (No idea of it is true.)

[–] umbraroze 8 points 5 months ago

I prefer this version: Wikihistory

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago

First they came for the Jenkins. And I did not speak out. Because I was not a Jenkins...

[–] jaybone 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I wished I could go back in time and kill DevOps, before it became a thing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Now you have DevOps but everyone just calls it Ops.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I'm sorry. Who's Jenkins?

[–] [email protected] 81 points 5 months ago (5 children)

1000016226

Its this man He lives in this thing called "The Cloud"

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The man is a monster. I don't know how many of my build jobs have been murdered by this fiend.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

And how many devops have been driven to madness trying to configure what should be a simple task.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

Oh yeah. Fuck that guy.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So in the OP’s original timeline there is a flexible CI pipeline tool named Adolph. Huh…

[–] partial_accumen 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

You can even see the stylized product icon with the simple facial features with the little square mustache. People in that timeline unironically refer to that CI tool as "The Final Solution" in CI.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago

You''ll never know and you should be thankfukl for it.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 20 points 5 months ago

I don't know either, but for some reason his name sends a shiver down my spine.

[–] HootinNHollerin 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Jenkins can only refer to the legend Leeroy Jenkins https://youtu.be/mLyOj_QD4a4

[–] dejected_warp_core 6 points 5 months ago

I was gonna say. Jenkins needs zero help. Just let him do his (final) thing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

At least he has a chicken

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Mmmh leeeroooooy jeeeeenkins

[–] RagingRobot 24 points 5 months ago

I thought this was going to be a dev ops joke at first then it never came

[–] samus12345 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well, was Jenkins worse than Hitler?

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 38 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

My inclination is that Hitler was the least bad way out of that situation. Give Germany another decade and some other nationalist party would come to power, only this time they've got a decade of research behind them and maybe they get the bomb first. Or maybe the leader isn't a drug-addled former artist who gets his entire staff hooked on uppers and they're actually effective at defeating their enemies.

So the reason we always seem to have Hitler is because the time cops keep people from killing him because the other timelines are even worse.

[–] IzzyJ 7 points 5 months ago

Would explain the failed assassination attempts

[–] jaybone 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Then what are the time cops doing about Trump?

[–] TheLowestStone 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Shit... is this evidence that he's the lesser of two evils? I don't know if I can handle that thought.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

only this time they’ve got a decade of research behind them and maybe they get the bomb first

Maybe that's why we're living in the universe where this didn't happen, because in the universe where it did, we wouldn't exist (many worlds/anthropic principle interpretation)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

We rolled back your change to fix Jenkins, please remember to run preflight checks before submitting.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

The build passed on my machine. ... Oh wait, my COVID bug fix didn't make it into main. Uh oh.

[–] TokenBoomer 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

At least he has chicken.

[–] kameecoding 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

This is a shittier version of this skit

https://youtu.be/2o7e1i7nJuQ?si=iCRex5rxPkP2pFFs

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

JENKINS WAS MY PA!!!

[–] corus_kt 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

The hardest choices require the strongest wills. They do not remember you, nor what you've sacrificed... but I will honor you, slayer of Jenkins, hero to humanity o7

[–] Jeom 7 points 5 months ago

Harold Jenkins from umbrella academy?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

If we killed hitler we would have more competent nazi and possibly still third reich over here but no Poland and I am selfish I wanna exist ya know

Best person would be trump as it is recent enough to not suddenly cease to exist due to various butterfly effects, still pretty risky though. All of people that died by accidents between trump election and today would be from different, new set. You can calculate probability even based on average yearly accidents.

God I shudder to think what if u killed Julius Caesar. We would be like unrecognisable due to all branching out possibilities over the years. Real quantum parallel worlds shit

[–] samus12345 6 points 5 months ago (5 children)

what if u killed Julius Caesar

Wonder what the month of July would be called?

[–] practisevoodoo 4 points 5 months ago (4 children)

September

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

The only 2 Jenkinses I know are Leeroy Jenkins, and Jenkins from How I Met Your Mother.

load more comments