He made angels unsexy so wouldn’t be distracted by them…!?
God is neither man nor woman.
But I bet it has holes.
this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
359 points (97.9% liked)
196
16776 readers
3306 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Straight to ~~jail~~ hell
Except God is referred to as "He" in the Bible?
Nonbinary people can use he/him pronouns, too, if they want. And God's pronouns have a capital H, so I guess you could make an argument that they kinda sorta are neopronouns uwu
There is probably no gender neutral variant in ancient Hebrew.
Yahweh (who later became "god) is definitely a man, cock and all. He used to be depicted with horns or as a golden calf, with a huge, oversized novelty dong.
Theres a reason moses came back with extra commandments, the second time.
I don't think that's how it happened, but it is funnier this way.
Oh, its definitely how it happened. Although, tbf, we don't know exactly what new commandments he came back with the second time but I think it would be silly to not presume them to be connected to all the golden calf worshipping.
He made angels unsexy
If that was true, Lot wouldn't have had to beat off a crowd with his desexing stick and offer up his own daughters to be fucked instead of the angels that came to visit him.
In that story, the angels took the form of men. Apparently super hot men lol.
Most of the biblical descriptions of what angels really look like are fucking terrifying.
Horny and unsexy are not mutually exclusive
True. You've basically described me.
Now now, everyone is sexy to someone
If I remember correctly, he didn’t fight the horny mob at all, he offered his daughters to them.
They weren't horny. It was a ritual of dominance and exile, much like tar-and-feathering. In the days of the Hebrews, death by snu-snu was a common way to dispose of unwanted strangers. The whole encounter was a symptom of the wrongdoing of Sodom, specifically, of hording wealth and failing to welcome the stranger and the immigrant, failing to uplift the poor and feed the hungry and treat the sick.
Fixating on buggery is to distract from modern societies that repeat these same acts of wickedness (looking at you, United States). Wanting to snu-snu the angels was essentially the equivalent of children-in-cages policies today.
Only now, human societies, especially the United States have harnessed the power to raze cities with fire from the sky.
Oh and women who read the story of Lot and his daughters see that he got drunk on his own and raped his own progeny. This act is so common the US has PSA billboards about it (e.g. Your Daughter Is Not Your Date! ). Victim-blaming is also typical.
This act is so common the US has PSA billboards about it (e.g. Your Daughter Is Not Your Date! ).
Is this real?
Sadly yes
I... think?
It looks like there's at least one that made the news. However it is a common story I've heard from victims in the recovery community.
Yeah that does look real, not sure if it does more good than harm by putting it on a billboard.
And unfortunately it does seem to be common enough that even as a guy I've met a woman who had this happen to her and told me, and assumably many others who didn't say anything about the experience.
If you read the story you'll find that it was Lot's daughters who raped their father.
~~That was the daughters of Noah. You're mixing up your Bible lore a bit.~~
I was wrong! My bad on that.
Genesis 19:30-38
30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab[a]; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[b]; he is the father of the Ammonites[c] of today.
You're right, my apologies. Been a good while since I've cracked open the book.
Either way, good wholesome biblical tales for the whole family!
Oh that's some fun words to read
The stick thing is a reference to this absolute gem.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Y'all should see what the devil originally looked like. Dude was HUNG.
I tried searching it up, but I only found porn.
Bold of you to assume people don't find biblically accurate angels sexy
Eww! Why does that angel have a humanoid body? I demand my sexy angels with no humanoid features! 🤤
It's what I had on hand 😔
Praise Satan
I liked the paths in SMT where you killed both
Dawg that biblically accurate angel gonna trigger a defcon 1 alert if it randomly existed while the demon one would probably in some random anime convention soo ill probably side with the demon one to be safe
Isn't the top-left image Cupid (i.e. a god)?
Nah, that's a generic cherub. Reasonable question because both are depicted as children.
That's a putto, which has intersection with depictions of Cupid and cherubim. Biblically accurate cherubim look like this:
Proginoskes, a cherubim in A Wind In The Door by Madeleine L'Engle was quite annoyed that cherubs were depicted as putti.
Eros is young and boyish, but regarded as adult, and Apollo (his rival in Olympian archery competitions) likes to mock him for looking childlike.
Oops, I was confused as well!
Admit it. If you saw this fucking thing and didn't know what it was, you'd grab a gun. And you'd be right to do so. I sure would. And I do know what it is, which means I had to make sure and grab a very large gun. Luckily I'm an American and, no joke, live 5 minutes away from no fewer than three different gun stores and a Walmart.
Biblical demons aren't specifically monstrous; angels, aka hallucinitization/dream creatures interpreted through the primitive lens of superstitious savages, are all monstrous and the demons are just the ones that got shuffled off to Earth for dating to formulate their own thoughts as a punishment.
Just typical mythological nonsense that people cling to for their own reasons.