this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] db2 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A big brown dripping hot sausage. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

[โ€“] over_clox 13 points 3 weeks ago

You had me at dripping.. ๐Ÿ’ฆ

[โ€“] [email protected] 37 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

This, legitimately, is what would happen to me. This kind of shit comprises the vast majority of my life story.

Fuck

[โ€“] telllos 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't cook homemade caramel.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

AKA confectioners napalm

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

If my hairline keeps migrating, i may look like him soon

[โ€“] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 1 points 3 weeks ago

You know what got me to stop wearing contacts for good? Bacon grease popped directly into my eye.

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Could be worse, could be burn from hot candied nuts. Try explaining that one

[โ€“] Droggelbecher 4 points 3 weeks ago

I've got a scar on my foot from a splash of caramel fresh from the pan

[โ€“] over_clox 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If the sausage grease is boiling hot, someone might need to see a doctor...

[โ€“] Death_Equity 2 points 3 weeks ago

Don't demonic possession shame people. They are vessels and can't choose the nature of the spirit that has taken their mortal form.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Don't use your teeth!

[โ€“] slingstone 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's not the herp, it's the derp.

[โ€“] blanketswithsmallpox 1 points 3 weeks ago

Por que no los dos? Even Wizards get it from their parents.

[โ€“] Sam_Bass 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I always poke them with a fork first to relieve pressure

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Forking does relieve pressure.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Is that a blister or a coldsore?"

> I got it by getting squirt by a hot sausage.

"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

You people bake your sausages?

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

So "hot food". Problem solved.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Amateur move! Gotta be careful around hot sausage splooge.