this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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Today I Learned

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[–] [email protected] 135 points 6 months ago (5 children)

And in case you haven't been paying attention, the Trump fascists want to undo all that with Project 2025.

[–] Chocrates 83 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Of course they want no fault divorce gone. They want their spouses stuck with them and unable to flee from the insanity.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago

They are populated by a lot of misogynistic and sexually frustrated guys trying so hard to overcompensate what little manliness they think they have. The kind that think it's OKAY for THEM to cheat but not the other way around.

There was a dude from TikTok recently that's going to get sentenced for life for murdering his wife and someone she was seeing. His reason? He tried using provocation and his emotional instability as the reason. Like, fuck you dude, you're insecure and you didn't use your brain power to divorce and dump her but instead you got to go and kill her?

Now imagine that shit amplified if Republicans or Trump get into office. Women left and right would not only be imprisoned in relationships or even marriages to guys that presumably lied about themselves to get their way with these women. But now guys would have practical immunity if they even think the woman they're dating with is cheating to kill them.

[–] psychothumbs 35 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I actually came across this statistic in this article about those guys wanting to make divorce much harder, which linked to the study: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2024/05/no-fault-divorce-gop-republicans-mainstream-podcast-dudes/

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In addition to the men who are pushing these laws are the women who have bought into the same misogyny and support women being forced to stay in marriage. Frequently the same women who oppose abortion rights.

It is primarily men, but they wouldn't be successful without that support.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

The fact that there are women who support this bullshit is something my mind can't comprehend. Are they sociopaths, sycophants, brainwashed.. or all of the above? I try to be mindfully empathetic and attempt to understand differing opinions even if i disagree...but I really struggle with this one. I just can't get there.

[–] sanguinepar 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ok, so I know this is about the most obvious suggestion possible on this subject, but if you haven't, and if you get a chance, read The Handmaid's Tale and its sequel, The Testaments.

They both have some really fascinating portrayals of women being or becoming complicit in the oppression of other women by a male-dominated system (while still also being oppressed themselves - their complicity is often a way of surviving in that system).

They're obviously not the be all and end all of the subject, but they really made me think about the kind of people you're describing, because I have (and still do) often felt the same - how can they do these things to other women?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for the suggestion! I've been meaning to read handmaid's tale, and I didn't know there was a sequel. I'll have to get them as audio books to listen to at work. Anything to help me understand what's going through their heads.

[–] sanguinepar 3 points 6 months ago

No problem, and I'm thrilled to have recommended it to someone who hasn't read it yet! :-)

The sequel is good, but not as good as the original IMO. The original is magnificent. Devastating at times, but definitely one to read.

[–] FlashMobOfOne 14 points 6 months ago

There's no 'want' to it.

They already have. Idaho got away with criminalizing abortion, which means 2/3 of the states will do the same next session, just like how 2/3 of the states still allow for you to be paid $7 an hour.

In the absence of a true opposition party, the wolves are feasting.

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[–] someguy3 84 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It's infuriating to listen to people talk about lack of divorce (in certain cultures, times, etc) thinking it means a successful marriage.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

There's a comedian who did a bit that was something like "A lot of my friends have parents who got divorced. Mine should have but didn't. I think I had it worse".

Paraphrased horribly, but if someone recognizes this bit, please let me know because I've long since forgotten even though the gist of it has stuck with me.

[–] someguy3 30 points 6 months ago (8 children)

Also infuriating is a certain psychologist saying "kids from parents that stay together do better", completely missing the point that there was dysfunction which led to divorce.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I mean I recognize it, but as something I frequently say to my therapist. (They finally divorced when I was 24).

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan 73 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Many states will not allow a divorce if the woman is pregnant, it's a twisted cycle of abuse and control.

A study recently published in the Journal of the American College of Surgeons found that states that restricted abortion access from 2018 to 2020 had a 75 percent higher rate of peripartum homicide — people who were killed while pregnant or in their first year after giving birth — than states without restrictions. The same trend did not hold in homicide rates for men.

Just like the pieces of shit that rail about "No fault divroce destroying the family", Restrictions on the bodily autonmy of women leads only to death and misery, I refuse to call those people "pro-life" or "pro-family", they are simply anti-womens rights.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 months ago (2 children)

How is divorce a matter of consent?

[–] psychothumbs 47 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Traditionally both parties had to agree to get divorced if there had not been some "grounds" for the divorce that could be proved in court. That's why the classic business for old timey private detectives was proving that their client's spouse was committing adultery in order to legally justify a divorce.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

So women having rights killed an entire genre

Edit Noir is the genre

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Well idk if I would say that, it was just a classic trope. Noir is very much alive and defined by not having any "good" charcters, just lots of shades of gray quasi heroes. "Nightcralwer", "Emily the Criminal" and "Girl with the dragon tattoo" movies are great examples of modern noir. That trope is just dated, but also still used in sci-fi like Blade Runner.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Nah, PI work just became a lot more desk jobby between the stakeouts you end up doing

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[–] Stern 38 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Probably lowered the rate of dudes "accidentally" ingesting arsenic in their coffee too.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I was reading a book where people anonymously share confessions. And one was about a person who worked at a Hospice providing care. They shared a lot of old women, on their last days, would confess to murdering their husbands.

[–] kromem 31 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

There's an ancient Greek story about a city where young women were killing themselves at an alarming rate, and the city eventually enacted a law where if a woman killed herself the body would be paraded through the streets naked before burial. After that law, the suicides dramatically went down.

The misogynistic interpretation of the author recording the story was that women were ashamed at the thought of being seen naked, even after death, and so this curbed the suicides.

My own interpretation is that it's hard to hide bruises on a naked body.

No one should be trapped in a situation where they feel the only option out is suicide.

[–] masquenox 25 points 6 months ago (4 children)

My own interpretation is that it’s hard to hide bruises on a naked body.

Considering that the ancient Greeks literally allowed men to murder their wives under certain conditions, I'd say that seeing bruises on a woman's body would elicit no outcry amongst them.

Also... fuck ancient Greece. And fuck the Roman empire, too.

[–] Wogi 12 points 6 months ago

I was curious so I did a tiny amount of research and as it turns out, you're pretty much in line with the data.

Information on ancient Greeks beating their wives is pretty sparse and what little we have suggests that it was so common that it barely deserved mention.

Beat their wives, fucked their kids, and gave rise to the society we've inherited today.

Persia should have one at Thermopylae

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Were there laws allowing wives to murder their husbands under certain conditions?

[–] masquenox 2 points 6 months ago

None that I've heard of.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean "fuck them", they don't exist any more...

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I had no idea there states that if you're female you can't get a divorce without consent. That's insane. I'm going guess they're all red states since they're big on not respecting women.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why would the socialists oppose women's right to choose?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (4 children)

In US. politics, red refers to places with a (usually large) majority of Republican voters.

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[–] Evotech 3 points 6 months ago (3 children)

It's the same for both persons In a marriage though

[–] Mostly_Harmless_Variant 12 points 6 months ago

Sure, but when these laws were passed they were intended to keep women down. Just like women couldn't vote or have back accounts. The fact they still exist, along with more of our rights being reduced, shows the misogynistic intent.

[–] meliaesc 4 points 6 months ago

The law in Missouri, for example, only bans pregnant women from seeking a divorce.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

Podcaster Tim Pool said no-fault divorce is “ruining relationships,” on an episode where he cites Jordan Peterson and jokes that, “maybe we would just be better if, I don’t know, women just had to wear red dresses and bonnets.”

I know what would actually make the world a better place, but I can't say it here.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Probably saw a decline in husband mysterious deaths too ^^

[–] Usernameblankface 12 points 6 months ago

I mean, yeah. It would be harder to track, but desperate people do desperate things when the law makes it hard to leave.

[–] JusticeForPorygon 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Don't tell that to your local conservative party...

Or do, they don't care

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Women suffering is a feature for them, not a bug

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[–] Voran 4 points 6 months ago (4 children)

And people hound me about how I'll die with cats and desperately regret not having a man to wash smelly socks for.

Marriage is psychological adrenalectomy.

[–] Evotech 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Idk, I usually wash my wives dirty socks more often than she washes mine I'm pretty sure

[–] this_1_is_mine 7 points 6 months ago

My wife washes I hang and fold. team work makes for more sexy time.....

[–] Dkarma 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Laundry is irrelevant if it's on the first floor. I'll do everyone's but they gotta fold

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

Cats are cool and so are you. Whatever works for you is the correct decision!

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[–] Duamerthrax 4 points 6 months ago

Just female suicide rate? I'd like to know the difference in married women rates. The difference in rate should be even bigger.

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