this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 174 points 7 months ago (11 children)

Phrases that make absolutely no fucking sense in 194 countries out of 195

Elementary school police officer

😳

[–] [email protected] 89 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

Kindergarten Grenadier.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm an American, and I've never heard of this. I think it might mostly be a joke at the expense of the shithole officers of Uvalde.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (2 children)

They are often called "resource officers" and there was at least one in every public school I went to (east coast).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

2 at our highschool, 1 in jr high

[–] JargonWagon 5 points 7 months ago

My high schools (private and public) had security guards

[–] Carvex 9 points 7 months ago

I'd yeehaw if'n twernt so sad.

[–] problematicPanther 8 points 7 months ago

gotta teach those kids how to lick boots early on in life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (13 children)

I think less than 193 tbh... In Latvia, a Social Democrat party has proposed surveillance cameras and pigs in schools. I'm pretty sure in other countries there has been talk as well

https://www.baltictimes.com/news/articles/6104/

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Must be Arnold Schwarzenegger working there

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] AeonFelis 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Well, you wouldn't want to let all these kids play with their guns without an officer to watch over them, would you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

My country had police officers in all schools for a month or so after the First Ever School Shooting In The Entire Country happened, but only because parents demanded it.

This was only a bit ago actually.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I think most countries will eventually go through one. For the UK it was Dunblane, after which the government went "no more handguns then?" and we all went "yeah, I suppose", because only a handful of people kept them anyway.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Gotta make sure there's no drug deals going on

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I have a special hate for inspirational water bottles, stickers or notebooks.

[–] frostysauce 46 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I have a special hatred for school police officers.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Me too, although it's slightly less than normal ones, the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other and DARE once a year.

[–] problematicPanther 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

D.A.R.E.- Drugs Are Really Enjoyable

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

D.A.R.E. - Drugs Are Really Expensive (and nobody is just going to give you drugs)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other

Ngl that sounds pretty good

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ours got a kick over charging kids with felonies that would follow them the rest of their lives.

[–] Leeker 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

School Resource Officers can't charge kids with felonies only a prosecutor can do that. A cop can arrest someone. Now you might think I'm being pedantic but I think it is an important distinction. Many times we blame cops and completely over look the fact that some of the blame lies with the prosecutor.

[–] BlitzoTheOisSilent 9 points 7 months ago

Yeah, but even if they're arrested and the charges are dropped, they still have an arrest on their record, which many/most colleges ask about on their applications.

Watch the John Oliver episode about School Resource Officers, you'll see one girl arrested and charged (I believe they dropped it though) with a felony/bomb charge for popping her water bottle cap like we used to do in school (y'know, twist the bottle, and then unscrew the cap and it pops off).

Another kid, special needs, was arrested and manhandled because he lightly carved "[Name] was here" into a concrete wall, which his mother had him come back and clean off. John put the kids name on his wall so that everyone would know "a legend was here," which is the reason the kid gave for why he did it in the first place.

Schools don't need cops, they need social workers, counselors, and proper funding. Not a chode with a gun and an authority fetish. Our school officer used to make friends with all the kids dealing drugs/getting in fights, while our principals/vice principals would scream at kids to take their hoodies off. And they wonder why kids think school is a joke.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 6 points 7 months ago

But can’t most cops use their discretion and not arrest the kid in the first place bypassing the prosecutor completely?

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[–] wabafee 27 points 7 months ago (2 children)

If your expected to empty this everyday you'll eventually end up being diabetic.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Cirrhosis of the liver will get you first.

[–] frostysauce 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Pfft. You're underestimating the human liver.

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[–] ma11en 6 points 7 months ago (7 children)

Sugar free coke would be the way to go.

[–] hOrni 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Skip the Coke altogether, to much caffeine. Just stick to rum neat.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 5 points 7 months ago

After that much it would be rum messy.

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[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 6 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (4 children)

The hell is a school police officer??

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Spotted the non-American! I'm very envious of your ignorance of this bullshit

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

In the good ol USA, schools often have what's called a school resource officer. Meant to be the connection between school kids and the police department, they have been useful for truancy and other problems that happen with students ( esp. high school age) at schools.

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

[–] erev 9 points 7 months ago

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

Well that was the idea anyways

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 4 points 7 months ago

The dude we had to bribe with egg rolls to go to the chinese place off campus for lunch back in the 90s. Now Idunno.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Is not it supposed to be chilled? By noon it will be warm, and drinking warm coke is just disgusting, unless it is mostly alcohol, and then you would just not remember.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 9 points 7 months ago

USB police fridge baby

[–] Sam_Bass 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Had one of those at a previous job once Got stolen after a few days

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Were you working as an elementary school police officer?

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[–] Ginger666 5 points 7 months ago
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 7 months ago

Stop lying. You know you're a kindergarten teacher.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago
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