this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] ChonkyOwlbear 480 points 7 months ago (5 children)

One of my favorite examples of the difficulty in idiot-proofing things comes from a national park ranger talking about the difficulty of designing a bear-proof garbage can. He said "There is considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest humans."

[–] [email protected] 137 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Lmao, yeah.... You can make a can so secured a bear definitely won't get in; but will people go to the effort to use it then?

Definitely some overlap there.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

And I think that hits on the truth, which makes this less "iamverysmart". It's not that the tourists are dumb, it's that they're new and not willing to pay much attention to things like trash can design. 1% of a normal person's attention presents a lot like a really dumb person.

[–] ikidd 27 points 7 months ago (13 children)

Is it 1%? Maybe when they first try to open it they're distracted But when doesn't open and now they're concentrating on the problem and still fail, then we have to kinda own up to the fact that a lot of people aren't smarter than a bear.

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 7 months ago (2 children)

A bear has time and motivation to keep trying over and over again to get into the garbage. People are generally much less determined to figure it out.

[–] Carnelian 100 points 7 months ago (21 children)

I used to see people charitably, much like you do, until very recently. After witnessing for myself people staring into the sun and injuring themselves after being repeatedly warned, I now realize there are a substantial number of people who simply have rocks clattering around inside their skulls instead of brains

[–] ggppjj 44 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I genuinely had someone stop and ask me why you can't see the moon during an eclipse because "it's got light in it right".

They're soon to replace our HR manager.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Holy shit this. And not even "educated" people. Where I work is about half degree holding engineers... many of these engineers were seen outside staring at the partial eclipse Monday.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (5 children)

There was a solar eclipse when I was in grade six. One of my classmates was riding his bike home, and was stupidly looking at the eclipse, and got hit by a car. The irony.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

I've seen people carelessly throw away their garbage right next to garbage bins, because they couldn't be bothered to get a little closer or aim.

The bear has more determination, because it has an incentive to get to the tasty, high calorie food that doesn't require the energy expenditure of chasing it down and tearing it apart. Throwing away garbage into a designated container on the other hand is a chore that some people believe they can skip, because they are the sole protagonists in their own stupid little world.

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[–] [email protected] 240 points 7 months ago (3 children)
[–] samus12345 33 points 7 months ago (2 children)

The monitor disappeared rather than the computer, but we can assume the tower somewhere under the desk did as well. But what of the keyboard? It's in the icon, yet remains after deletion!

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 140 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (5 children)

One of the things I like most about my customer-facing technical role is that users find the craziest bugs. My favorite is a bug in a chat program that would keep channels from rendering and crash the client. The only clue I got was "it seems to be affecting channels used by HR more than other departments, but it's spreading."

Turns out the rendering engine couldn't handle a post that was an emoji followed by a newline and then another emoji. So when the HR team posted this, meaning "hair on fire" it broke things:

🔥
😬
[–] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago

Gotta love user reported bugs. I had one that reported a product of ours crashed only on Mondays. We spent a total of 5 minutes thinking of a cause and appointed customer support for a Friday morning. Lo and behold the app still crashed.

In this case the app only crashed on Mondays... because that's when this user actually used the application

[–] TheBat 37 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Before we had mindblown emoji, we had this.

💥
😳
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[–] Donkter 21 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Why would you post this, my phone exploded and took a shit. I didnt know it could do that.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (2 children)

User reported bugs can be wild. I had one where the user was tapping a button repeatedly so fast that the UI was not keeping up with the code and would no longer sync certain values properly. I'm talking like tap the button 15 times in a second. Another issue involved flipping back and forth between the same page like 10 times then turn the device Bluetooth off and immediately back on.

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 7 months ago (5 children)

The act of someone sitting at a brand new Mac, with a never-before-used interface, and immediately clicking the computer icon to drag it to the trash, is such a powerful image for me.

The statement of, "this is what I think of this computer" is so strong, because I have to believe that whomever did that must have been a tech person to be at the event; but perhaps they just thought it was a shortcut and didn't like shortcuts on their desktop so they tried to remove it? Like, you can do this with Windows.... Because the computer object (in Explorer) is immutable, and any reference to it is simply a link to that object.

I prefer the thought of them just being like "this computer is trash" and doing that, and causing the system to crash.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Moments like that are why I belive in timetravel, in the real timeline it took two years to find that bug and it was resolved quietly but of course someone is going to come back and troll them by doing it on day 1.

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[–] DharkStare 100 points 7 months ago (3 children)

As a programmer, I consider The User to be the enemy. No matter how thoroughly I seemingly test my code, the second the user gets their hands on it, it breaks left and right from all the crazy shit they do.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 7 months ago (5 children)

I was a QA engineer. I think one of the guys on the team I was on developed a stress response from hearing me walk over to his desk.

Lots of "page crashes if the user doesn't have a last name"

"Why wouldn't they have a last name??"

"No idea, but 372 users in the DB don't, and 20 of them were created this month so it's not an old problem"

"incoherent muttering and cursing"

[–] [email protected] 37 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (5 children)

As a user, I sometimes do everything I can to see what breaks a system. (Often unintentionally)

Then, I don't do those this things.

(Learning permissions on Linux was a great way to destroy a system. Eg "sudo chown -R user:user /" didn't work as I first thought)

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I’m a user experience designer. My favourite story is from aviation engineering. I don’t remember the year or all the details, but the US Navy had put stupid amounts of money and time into engineering a new fighter jet. It was worked out on paper and built to exact specifications. Then, during the first human test of it, the pilot ejected on the tarmac before it took off. The plane crashed, obviously, but the pilot couldn’t explain what happened (apparently he had a concussion from his unscheduled landing).

The plane was built again, and shortly after takeoff, the pilot again ejected without explanation.

What the fuck was going on?

In the retelling I heard, someone finally noticed the design of the cockpit was to blame. In trying to cram all the standard controls plus new ones into the smallest amount of space, the designers had moved the eject lever right next to the lever to adjust the seat position – they’d coloured the eject lever red, but the pilot couldn’t see that since it was below and slightly to the right of his ass, and both levers were the same size and shape. Nobody noticed this was a problem until at least two pilots accidentally ejected on takeoff.

This might be apocryphal, I don’t know, but I learnt it as an example of how things might look good on paper, but you can’t really know until a user fucks everything up.

[–] LordKitsuna 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Id hardly call that a user fucking things up, that's not even good on paper. Those are a retarded pair of things to have next to one another regardless of any coloring on them. Especially with the same handles

[–] rtxn 37 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I'm not a fighter pilot, but when I think "ejection", can't imagine anything but a high-stress situation where the pilot doesn't have time to figure out which is the ejection lever. Imagine a real emergency where the pilot grabs the wrong lever, gently slides back with the seat, and then fucking dies on impact.

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[–] DeathbringerThoctar 68 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

That's a very funny anecdote about Apple that I can find no evidence of ever actually happening. Leaving aside the fact that Xerox had GUI, including the modern WIMP GUI we're all familiar with today, in 1974. The Apple Lisa was released at least a year before the Macintosh 128K came out in 1984. As much as I love the idea of Apple making such an amateur mistake, I'm going to need a reputable source before I believe that story actually happened.

Edit: I'm seeing a lot of "it's technically possible" but still no sources to confirm that it actually occurred. Until a a verifiable source emerges, I'm still going to assume this story never actually happened. Anyone have Woz's contact info? We could always just ask him.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I've seen multiple new users drag Macintosh HD or Documents to Trash in literally the first minute of using a computer. It was perhaps the most common first action I witnessed. Fortunately, none of them located the "Empty Trash" command before I stepped in.

It never crashed the system, but this was in the 90s when we were already on System 7 or even OS 8, so I'm not sure how the older versions handled it. Dragging a disk icon to the Trash on the classic Mac OS ejected the disk, so I wouldn't be surprised. Simply dragging the System Folder shouldn't cause an instant crash, but it would fail to boot if you restarted for sure. So the story could be mostly accurate but just missing a step.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Speaking from experience, it functionally ruined them, at least the early macs -exact os/model unknown- we had (school computers well behind the curve and all). They’d need to be reformatted after. It would delete, then iirc just crash and you’d reboot into errors (my memory of this is spotty, it was a very long time ago)

I used to do that in the computer lab when I was supposed to be doing typing practice. Fucking hate typing “properly”.

Note: I am not a verifiable source, this is anecdata.

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[–] noughtnaut 19 points 7 months ago (10 children)

Seconded.

I've read most of folklore.org and do not recall any such story. In fact, how do you even "drag the computer to the waste basket" as the first/only icon would be the System floppy and afaik they've never had / still don't have a "computer icon". 🤔

[–] SchmidtGenetics 29 points 7 months ago (3 children)

First image I could find of the desktop and there is computer icons right there.

If dragging one of those to wastebasket at the bottom right crashed the computer, it would fit the description of the event.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I wonder if the first attempt was simply dragging that Mac System Software to the trash. Not "the computer icon", but it's possible the anecdote was/is slightly misremembered by John

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 7 months ago (3 children)

The closest I ever got to this story was working help desk in 1996. A user called up saying they had deleted the Internet.

Took me a while to understand he dragged “the Internet” to the recycle bin on the desktop.

[–] SergeYSDT 18 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Yes! I remember this happening a lot, and I could never really truly understand the thought process behind it! But the thing is, this is still happening today, just in different context, and it's still equally as baffling!

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[–] Theharpyeagle 54 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If you ever think "an actual human couldn't possibly click that fast", you are wrong. Debounce your critical actions.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter if a human can't, some idiot is going to open an autoclicker at 1000cps and break it

[–] Acters 17 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I promise you I have done exactly that, i had an auto clicker bound to my space bar and was to lazy to click and would just hold the space bar down when I knew that I was going to click a bunch of gui buttons.(which I though wouldnt be problem) Quickly learned some programs don't like it at all. Lol

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 7 months ago (2 children)

well id expect the computer to crash if i threw it in the trash can

[–] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago

Game makers should hire me to test their maps, if there's a spot where I can get 100% stuck no matter what, you bet your shiny metal ass I'll find it.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago

Back in the early 1990s, I worked at a small-town hardware store chain (nuts and bolts, not computers) that was computerizing. A few weeks after we rolled it out, a customer came in with two gift certificates to purchase one item.

It seems pretty basic now, but using two gift certificates to purchase one item was simply not a requirement anyone had thought of. The system had no way to ring it up. The assistant manager of the store did the smart thing and rung it up as a gift certificate plus cash for the balance, so that the customer was good to go. They had to do some adjustments on the back end for that one sale and then update the software to allow for that situation.

I always remember that when I'm working on requirements for systems, wondering what obvious things we're not thinking of...

[–] BreadOven 36 points 7 months ago

I once deleted system32.....That's when I began calling the shots.

[–] mercano 27 points 7 months ago

I hadn’t heard the Mac story before. I wonder if it’s legit, as I don’t think the Mac, or the Lisa before it, ever had the equivalent of a My Computer icon. Disks appear directly on the desktop; dragging a disk to the trash can ejects it if its removable media, and the only type of disk the original Mac had was a 400KB single-sided 3.5” floppy drive.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

When I started working in the late 90s early 00s, every company had their own It-department. These days it's just some consultant or subscription to another company offering their consultants to do specific tasks.

This thread reminds me of why having an IT department makes good sense financially - today.

You can add up all the salaries, equipment and training costs and it'll still be cheaper than wasting time and money in meetings with consultants trying to either explain the task or moan about pricing.

Shit doesn't work, because they aren't paid to make shit work.

I can make code that works for me and I can make code that works for you. The price is different, but you also need to know what you actually want it to do, and I don't know how much money you are willing to sacrifice for us both fumbling around in that equation.

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