this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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Showerthoughts

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Please don't take this satirical thought seriously, just take it for what it is, total nonsense.

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[–] Art3sian 121 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Personally, I think every woman should go to jail for keeping her eggs in her ovaries. That’s child imprisonment.

How dare they.

[–] over_clox 47 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Every egg shed is another egg dead. We need to outlaw tampons and start using corks instead.

Again, don't take my satire seriously, the whole situation is absurd.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Every woman should empty her menstrual cup into a test tube and mail it in.

[–] garbagebagel 8 points 8 months ago

You say it as a joke but what if people started mailing their menstrual blood to the houses of the shitlords passing these laws

[–] over_clox 8 points 8 months ago

They can email it in these days right?

[–] NoRodent 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Christ, he must be FUMING

[–] [email protected] 67 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

The Alabama ruling was specifically for one case. However, they made a very general ruling which could be used to argue all kinds of things that make no sense. The court even acknowledged this but said something along the lines of "it is not this courts duty to determine other cases". Essentially "The clinic is being sued for wrongful death of a child and they argued this law doesnt apply to frozen embryos. We have decided it does and the case can move forward. We acknowledge this sets a terrible precedent but we don't care. Also here are some Bible quotes because the Supreme Court of Alabama uses the Bible for legal arguments and somehow this isn't religious law"

[–] over_clox 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

I'm still trying to process your words.

Don't get me wrong, all your words make sense grammaticaly, but the state of the world makes absolutely no sense.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If it's any slight consolation whatsoever, the Bible quotes being used as evidence was just from the concurring opinion (that came to the same conclusions for other reasons from the majority), written by the chief justice of that court.

[–] over_clox 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Alright, gotcha. They also didn't have freezers when the Bible was written. So, care to re-evaluate your comment?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I mean, I don't begin to understand it, and it terrifies me. But at least it's far away from me for now.

[–] over_clox 1 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I still gave you my upvote anyways. Even if our opinions differ, or maybe it's just that confusing or controversial subject, I thank you for taking time to read my post and comment. 👍

[–] Boinkage 3 points 8 months ago

That poster is agreeing with you that the court's decision was bad and dumb.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Unless you think the recent decision was very based, I don't think our opinions are all that different.

[–] over_clox 1 points 8 months ago

Nah we cool yo, more or less same page I think.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

It doesn't make much sense.

When a high court makes a decision, all the lower courts need to follow it. If a high court says anyone on trial for murder must be tried as an adult, then all the lower courts need to follow that rule. It is incredibly rare for a high court to make such a broad rule though. Usually their rulings are much more precise. Like: on trial for murder, over the age of 15 and shows at least 4 of the following 12 signs of maturity: has a job, has a driver's licence, etc...

This was a case where their ruling was incredibly broad and had no conditions. They literally said "we are adding 'frozen embryo' to the legal definition of 'child'" and just left it at that. This means all courts in Alabama must consider frozen embryos to be children when ruling on cases, which of course has a lot of practical problems.

Already people have pointed out that in vitro fertilization has effectively been banned. All IVF clinics in Alabama are currently closed. Republican law makers cheered this until it was pointed out that IVF clinics create babies. They aren't abortion clinics. Now they're scrambling to re-legalize IVF in Alabama. So yeah, all the old men in Alabama have zero clue about what they're doing. They just like ensuring everything is considered a child because that's what Jesus wants.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's always been okay. Conservatives don't give a shit about child safety.

Freeze 'em, starve 'em, shoot 'em... as long as there's human suffering to be had!

[–] superduperenigma 42 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Freeze 'em, starve 'em, shoot 'em...

But for the love of God, do not under any circumstances educate them!

[–] over_clox 15 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm not even a religious person, but you preach the truth!

[–] PurpleSheeple 7 points 8 months ago

Strange fellas, those Conservatives. When I was young, I thought getting education was at least as bad as being starved, frozen or shot. So why is it singled out?

[–] Clent 8 points 8 months ago

Don't forget their continued legal right to marry them off to 50 year old men.

[–] Tolstoshev 35 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It also means that abortion in Alabama is now legal as long as you freeze the results.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Holy fuck?!?! I can't find any fault in that logic.

[–] over_clox 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I keep mine next to the ice cream

[–] Tolstoshev 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Just don’t accidentally grab the wrong container or it will be murder and cannibalism! Shades of Kronos.

[–] over_clox 2 points 8 months ago

Accidentally?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)
[–] bitchkat 13 points 8 months ago

That's called Benadryl.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Fuck yeah, I'd be down for a QuietAfternoon2000. Hell, do they make one for adults? I'm ready for a good nap.

[–] billiam0202 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Ooh, sorry, you've already purchased the "Over-30-Everything-Hurty" DLC for Living: Life and we don't offer refunds, so....

[–] TheRedSpade 4 points 8 months ago (2 children)

we don't offer refunds

That's ok, I'll cut my losses. Just take it back.

[–] billiam0202 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Hello!

Thank you for your interest in returning your Life: Living DLC "Over-30-Everything-Hurty". As part of our efforts to allow you to enjoy the current season Capitalism: If You Don't Own Everything You Own Nothing as quickly as possible all DLC was registered to your account by $Mother on $Birthday. Unfortunately, once tied to your account any registered DLCs can not be removed.

We hope you have a pleasant day!

[–] over_clox 3 points 8 months ago

The package is no longer sealed, we can't accept returns.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's not acceptable to freeze children? Brb...

[–] over_clox 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Make sure to thaw them slowly

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Thank fuck you're here, was going to use defrost on the microwave.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Well microwave was made to defrost frozen Hamster 🐹 to life. You are not too far of the track. If you want to know more there is a Tom Scott video on it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I saw that! Amazing stuff.

[–] over_clox 4 points 8 months ago

Microwave was actually invented from repurposed radar station parts, but I'm enjoying the comment thread, so carry on..

[–] over_clox 7 points 8 months ago

No no, eggs tend to explode in the microwave

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

If you could freeze people, and, this is important, and unfreeze them without any repercussions or harm. Then it would be totally normal to do. Oh I'm going on a trip I'm getting frozen they will thaw me out on the other side.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Courts deciding on nature of reality is peak Kafka.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It is not a new story though. A family member argued about a traffic accident, that the description provided by the other side is physically impossible. The judge replied, that physics would not count for humans.

A lot of people who study law do so, because they are terrible at sciences.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Kafka is also not a new author.

[–] agent_flounder 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

And yet courts making stupid rulings surely predates him? (Even if that example does not)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Sure, but he was the best to describe the absurdity.

[–] agent_flounder 3 points 8 months ago
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