this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2024
718 points (97.7% liked)

Microblog Memes

6021 readers
3965 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] beebarfbadger 273 points 9 months ago (9 children)

Yeah, nope, checks out. If eating pussy estrogenises the male body,... nope, we can't have that. The logical solution is to instead suck as much dick as possible to testosteronise the body as much as possible in order to strengthen your hetero biochemistry.

[–] xantoxis 96 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Sometimes oral ingestion isn't enough. Testosterone in semen, delivered rectally, can be rapidly absorbed into the colon for fast-acting effects.

[–] ProvableGecko 35 points 9 months ago

BRB need to man up, calling up the fellas to give me a test butt-injection stat

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

Works for vodka, must work for manliness too

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

Fun fact: the opposite of estrogenize is in fact to androgenize. No relation to androgynize with a Y, they're just one letter apart and for many speakers 100% homophonic, but they're very different in meaning, if we're talking about men's sex hormone intake.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 152 points 9 months ago (1 children)
  1. Eating pussy is pretty intimate
  2. Greater intimacy often yields greater empathy
  3. Greater empathy towards women makes right wing positions harder to hold, as those positions are often hostile to women

Therefore, in a sense, eating pussy leads to leftism, I guess.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] gardylou 134 points 9 months ago (2 children)

All I read is that if women want their pussy to be eaten they should date leftists.

[–] Jerkface 56 points 9 months ago

Spiritual lesbian, reporting for duty. o7

[–] ClockworkOtter 34 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)

So, seizing the means of reproduction?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CitizenKong 17 points 9 months ago

Yeah, Socialist East Germany had a lot going against it (the whole restrictive surveillance state thing) but it was a lot more sex-positive than the West.

[–] Hobbes_Dent 103 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If licking pussy leans one to the left due to estrogenization, I can see now why the right likes Trump, Putin, and testosterone so much.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago
[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 53 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (11 children)

FELLAS is it gay to like women? I mean you're literally attracted to someone who likes penis.

FELLAS! is it gay to masturbate? I mean you're literally playing with a man's penis.

FELLAS!!! is it gay to exist? I mean you're literally constantly holding a penis.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (3 children)

FELLAS!!! is it gay to exist? I mean you're literally constantly holding a penis.

I'm not constantly holding it. Sometimes I fall asleep and let go.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Reminds me of that Reddit post about a guy who refused to wipe his own ass because touching his ass was gay

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I’m sure these guys are also anti-blowjob following this logic

[–] misterundercoat 47 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Nah bro. Eating cum testosteronizes the body. That's why I blow my bros at the gym in a totally hetero way.

[–] Raxiel 32 points 9 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dohpaz42 44 points 9 months ago (2 children)

In high school, I had a bumper sticker that read, “Lesbian trapped in a man’s body.” If eating pussy makes me gay, then I’m the gayest mf’er this side of the Mississippi.

[–] jettrscga 53 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Your statement implies a gayer mf'er on the other side of the Mississippi. Be the gayest mf'er on both sides of the Mississippi.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] indepndnt 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago (3 children)

You need to understand that this is not about sexuality, but about patriarchy. For them sex is about power over women, not about pleasing them. Cunnilingus focuses on female pleasure, which is a problem for this world view. Men unwilling to take part in the oppression of women are seen as "unmanly". This is expressed through the accusation of being "gay".

[–] Passerby6497 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Men unwilling to take part in the oppression of women are seen as "unmanly".

Which is funny, because it's much more "unmanly" to be so afraid of not being the ""alpha male"" that you're afraid of giving your partner pleasure. How insecure in your manhood do you need to be to think eating a woman out lowers your status?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I love how even the guy who originally suggested the concept of alpha male says he was wrong and there is no such thing yet people still go around thinking they are one.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Noo I'll never be able to claim that nickname on Bluesky

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

You can always tell something is bullshit if it says 99% anywhere.

[–] lugal 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Not always, but 99% of cases (basically all but this comment)

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] feedum_sneedson 28 points 9 months ago

I love eating pussy so much I could cry while eating pussy and film it and be blackmailed with the footage by myself. There, I said it.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Maybe we should stop labeling and everyone can start their introduction with "I like pussy" / "I like dicks" / "I like dogs" etc

[–] Sakychu 39 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I think the last one is banned in most states /j

[–] EdibleFriend 25 points 9 months ago

Thanks Obama.

[–] TheGrandNagus 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Bestiality is not outlawed in Hawaii, New Mexico, West Virginia, and Wyoming

[–] jqubed 12 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It must be a sad world to live in where it’s a personal failing to satisfy the hell out of the woman you love.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Imagine wanting to give your partner pleasure.

I joke but I think that might actually be it. A lack of empathy for women or something.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

There's nothing more manly than eating a hairy butthole

[–] QualifiedKitten 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

So then, if a woman is exclusively attracted to men who eat pussy, does that also make her a lesbian?

[–] CodexArcanum 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's cool y'all, more for me and the lesbians.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body" is a stand up comedy bit from the 1980s.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Dasus 16 points 9 months ago

"Prohibit cunnilingus"?

More theocratic by the day

[–] mightyfoolish 14 points 9 months ago

When was the start of this thousand year prohibition? 😂 5/7 perfect troll post.

[–] negativeyoda 12 points 9 months ago

Nothing makes this cisman feel more queer than eating pussy. Let me tell you..

load more comments
view more: next ›