Go ahead (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] rustyfish 157 points 3 months ago

It’s the year 2031. NATO troops surrounded the Cremlin after a weekend of mostly chill driving through the Russian countryside. Picking up defectors here and there.

Russia still threatens with war if they don’t stop.

Everybody laughs. Love is in the air. Good times.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I know you're joking, and I'm sorry to ruin the dream but to be clear nuclear fallout would be in the air and there won't be laughing as several millions would die before that moment.

I really don't like the glorification of war

[-] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago

Question: We've seen sand-filled missiles due to corruption and cronyism, and they were actually transfered to the front line expecting to be live munitions. How many Russian ICBMs do you think are truly functional between the "new" ones and the 70yo cold war hulks?

To be clear, I don't revel in the idea of a war between the Ruskies and NATO, but Putin is certain to be wondering this, too. How effective are his strategic assets, truly? I'm sure the CIA has figured that out and is guiding US response on that intel. They know exactly how far an insecure dictator can be pushed.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah and what would that do. Sure a lot of people would die but it won't help Russia win the war. If they shoot their load and they destroyed say two cities, then everyone else will know that's it. Launching the missiles would be literally the last thing that they ever do. Mutually assured destruction not required.

The best way to survive is to constantly threaten but never actually act. Eventually someone will do something about putting oil just die of old age. There isn't really a way there's ends with him being victorious.

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[-] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Millions will die from the nuclear fallout and billions will starve from the following nuclear winter.

Nuclear war is terrifying

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[-] [email protected] 57 points 3 months ago

Alright NCD, tell me your noncredible plan to beat Russia

[-] [email protected] 115 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Fuck it, *releases Florida-man*

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[-] [email protected] 54 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I suggest a slight modification on the Prigozhin plan.

Step 1: Hop on whatever vehicle you can find

Step 2: Casually drive to Moscow

Step 3 (Modified): Do NOT take Putin's bribe.

Step 4: Make sure you don't have to carry too much ammo back

Step 5: We did it!

[-] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago

I'll copy and paste a bit I did in reply to a Russiabot for kicking Russia out of the Ukraine.

We tell Poland “Hulk? Smash.” and they rush across the border and reinforce Ukrainian positions. A US carrier group rolls up and sinks what remains of the Black Sea Fleet before the Admiral can get a second cup of coffee. Marines start landing in Sevastopol and the obligatory McDonalds is setup within 36 hours. F-22s body the Russian air force without even being seen; not because of stealth, but because Russians ain't got radar no more. The Kerch Strait Bridge isn’t just bombed, but completely taken out from end to end. What remains of Russian ground positions west of Mariupol is full of soldiers who hear rumors that NATO POW camps will give you hot food and a warm blanket, and that’s sounding like a damn good deal by the end of the week.

[-] Buddahriffic 25 points 3 months ago

Also cut off Belarus from any Russian support and let the people there do their thing. Bomb the railway connections between Russia and China, add a blockade between Russia and Iran.

And instead of just using McDonald's on the frontline, add some A&Ws and really win some hearts and minds.

[-] dlpkl 14 points 3 months ago

Throw in a Five Guys and I'll start this party myself

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

Hearts and minds? I gotchu

*airdrops Stanley cups*

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[-] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Day one: Russian air force gets taken out by NATO air strikes.

Day two: remaining heavy weapons are mopped up by NATO air strikes.

Day three to one hundred: Russian meat waves get mowed down by NATO air strikes and artillery.

Day one hundred and one: Putin tries to launch nuclear attack, fails.

[-] mojofrododojo 33 points 3 months ago


Hear me out: Treaty of Aigun established Vladivostok on what was Chinese land - Yongmingcheng, where the russians built a western city/port for their pacific fleet. And the russian 'east'; there's a fantastic stretch of land that's going to become quite livable due to climate change while china experiences a series of frustrations - inability to separate Taiwan from the west's interference, inability to execute the 9-dash line's ambitions to control the south china sea, and unity in the Australia-Indonesia-Philippines resistance to Chinese influence - why continue to waste resources where there's nothing but resistence?

Look north. Russia doesn't have the best army in the Donbas lol, when supplied the Ukrainians are tearing them to shreds - far more lost there than Afghanistan and Chechnya - mind boggling losses. Will the Russians really be able to stand up to a peer army?

And no one would twitch. Who's going to jump to Russia's aid?

Seems like a win.

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

Orbital bombardment with anti matter weaponry.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Democracy prevails

➡️ ⬇️ ➡️ ⬇️ ➡️ ⬇️

[-] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

For Democracy!


[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Special forces find putin and put a nuke in his asshole, then he goes to see his government buddies and kaboom.

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Make American vodka superior to Russian.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

That would be Kirkland Signature vodka.

I am 100% serious.

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[-] samus12345 51 points 3 months ago

"We'll wait and see if Trump is elected and pulls out of NATO first."

[-] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

I suppose it's not too much to ask that everyone just tells Trump that they've done it. He's not like he'll check or anything.

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[-] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago

I am quite curious if Japan will take back their Kuril Islands in case of war. Russia already pulled their equipment from the islands. I was surprised to find out that Japan and Russia (or better the USSR) never really signed a peace treaty after WWII. So it seems technically they are still at war

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[-] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago

Russian foreign policy equals to domestic policy. They always bark outside when they have domestic issues, like people revolting against Putin. It is getting bit jarring to shift blame to NATO, and it is surprising that it works to any Russians.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

sir/ma'am this is ncd

[-] Anticorp 20 points 3 months ago

Why do they want to declare war on the Seattle Mariners?

[-] Jackcooper 13 points 3 months ago

As a Mariners fan it's probably because we gave up on Kelenic

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

My portfolio would skyrocket even more i fucking dare you!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

We got a coalition of the willing, son!

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this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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