Go ahead (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago

I'll copy and paste a bit I did in reply to a Russiabot for kicking Russia out of the Ukraine.

We tell Poland “Hulk? Smash.” and they rush across the border and reinforce Ukrainian positions. A US carrier group rolls up and sinks what remains of the Black Sea Fleet before the Admiral can get a second cup of coffee. Marines start landing in Sevastopol and the obligatory McDonalds is setup within 36 hours. F-22s body the Russian air force without even being seen; not because of stealth, but because Russians ain't got radar no more. The Kerch Strait Bridge isn’t just bombed, but completely taken out from end to end. What remains of Russian ground positions west of Mariupol is full of soldiers who hear rumors that NATO POW camps will give you hot food and a warm blanket, and that’s sounding like a damn good deal by the end of the week.

[-] Buddahriffic 24 points 2 months ago

Also cut off Belarus from any Russian support and let the people there do their thing. Bomb the railway connections between Russia and China, add a blockade between Russia and Iran.

And instead of just using McDonald's on the frontline, add some A&Ws and really win some hearts and minds.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Hearts and minds? I gotchu

*airdrops Stanley cups*

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago


Make them extra limited edition and promise the women of Russia even MORE limited runs if they bring us Putin's head.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

karelia is free

[-] dlpkl 13 points 2 months ago

Throw in a Five Guys and I'll start this party myself

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Lets skip the five guys and create the first international In-N-Out. Itd be funny if the Ukrainians get one before the Mexicans or Canadians.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Idk, enshittification even came for Five Guys in the end.

Is Uncle Sam paying?

[-] mojofrododojo 2 points 2 months ago

Idk, enshittification even came for Five Guys in the end.

they fucked up 5guys? haven't been in a while, what happened?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

A basic combo is well over $20 now. If they had the best damn burgers you can get it'd be one thing but the quality of the meat has gone down as well.

Any real burger joint crushes them on quality and price now, but that's how enshittification works, right? Build the brand with a good product, then decrease quality and jack up prices.

All I'm willing to give them is they don't season their patties, so it's a relatively good place to go if you're restricted on sodium or prefer a pure meat flavor but the reality is the best burgers are seasoned. That's just how flavor works.

this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2024
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