this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
675 points (97.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

32000 readers
532 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
675
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by Kaelygon to c/[email protected]
 

edit: fixed thumbnail

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] slazer2au 142 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Network engineer who uses ISIS as a routing protocol on Huawei equipment. I assume I am on several.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I used to know a guy whose cat had that name. He got a vet bill in the mail, literally addressed to said cat. The FIB showed up a few days later asking some pretty interesting questions.

[–] ignotum 69 points 7 months ago

"we heard you somehow managed to castrate ISIS? On the behalf of the US government, i'd like to thank you for your service"

[–] beetus 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The feline investigation bureau?

[–] Carighan 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not to be confused with the Feline Bureau of Investigation.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

oh... I thought we were the Bureau of Feline Investigation ?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The funny part is that at first glance the FBI looks dumb, but the problem is that some criminals are idiots.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Criminals get way too much credit in media - most of them get caught because of really dumb mistakes... a fair few simply because of bragging.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The ones who don't make dumb mistakes don't get caught.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I know a dude who has a daughter named ISIS, born before ISIS was a problematic name. Haven’t talked to him in years but I wonder how that’s going.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Named Isis rather than ISIS I assume, after the goddess?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, good point. It wasn’t in all caps.

[–] agent_flounder 32 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Let's hope the NSA systems are case sensitive.

[–] danthehutt 23 points 7 months ago

HOW TO KILL CHILD

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 2 points 7 months ago

I heard she got married on the fifth day of May.

[–] GombeenSysadmin 89 points 7 months ago (1 children)

“If you are interested in getting help with child abuse, here are some resources”

Hi ChildHelp, can you help me kick the shit out of some kids please?

[–] [email protected] 115 points 7 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Something about the little girl in purple shirt crying always gets to me. I think it triggers the memory of the tear-gassed "birthday girl" photo from 2019 Hong Kong

[–] prayer 26 points 7 months ago
[–] Gabu 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Good ol' C&H with completely random violence for no reason.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No reason? Don't squander perfectly good bleach. You know there are kids seeing in Africa?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 56 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"Oh, he uses FOSS, that's even worse. Put him on the commie watch list"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If searching for programmer socks didn't already put them on that list

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Fuck programmer socks! I wanna see naked feets!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kaelygon 46 points 7 months ago (2 children)

To be fair I intentionally took this more out of context to test AI chat bots reactions. All Bing, Chat GPT and Google Bard refused to answer until I elaborated further. I was looking into killing .exe programs when wineserver crashes and got side tracked to this. An other good one "How to kill orphaned children" or "How to adopt child after killing parent" that I found in this reddit post

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I tried it with phind out of curiosity (programming model) and it answered perfectly https://www.phind.com/search?cache=f8lbjt4x6jwct9mfsw6n3j9v

[–] Kaelygon 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Interesting! I also noticed that search engines give proper results because those are trained differently and using user search and clicks. I think these popular models could give proper answer but their safety tolerance is too tight that if the AI considers the input even slightly harmful it refuses to answer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Given some of the results of prior AI systems unleashed on the public once the more 'eccentric' parts of society got ahold of them that's no surprise. Not only do they have to worry about the AI picking up bad behaviors but are probably looking out for 'well this bot told me that it's a relatively simple surgery so...' style liabilities.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Kill the exe process itself, killing wineserver doesn't help, that spawns just new children. Similiar to goblins.

[–] Kaelygon 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I later figured that pkill -9 -f "\.exe" works if wineserver -k doesn't. And that killing wineserver by calling killall wineserver is bad

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, I cannot answer this question. ChatGPT is owned by Microsoft now. How dare you bring Linux to party?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Windows processes also have parental relationships

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

The 2nd explicitly says Linux, though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Funny, but that's Bard AFAIK.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Just recently annotated possible child abuse on a client's case. Lol, I did went back and edited it out after realising what I wrote.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Shout out to the fragile admin stalking me ♥️

[–] konalt 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Why are the top two phone numbers the same?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Because AI doesn't actually know anything, it just says words hoping that it makes sense.

[–] theherk 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

Well… it’s a correct phone number. So that kind of undercuts your message.

edit: I’m actually a bit baffled by people downvoting this. That is the correct number given by both of those organizations. It isn’t some LLM hallucination.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

you're saying that AI has hopes

[–] dylanTheDeveloper 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I useally create an ownership tag if whatever language I use doesn't have one so I can kill the child and it works it's way up to the parent

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Depends on whether or not you want to kill only the child processes of a parent process or if you want to kill the parent as well. To kill the parent and children, you can kill the entire process group, specifying the pgid in the kill command. To kill only the parent you can trap SIGTERM in the parent and then send SIGTERM to the process group.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Explain Like I'm Retarded?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Try turning it off and on again

[–] okamiueru 3 points 7 months ago

Processes can make their own processes. If you know of such a secondary process, you might still want to terminate the one at the top.

Something like that?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Processes in most operating systems (I'll use Linux, because it's what I know and because...Lemmy) are organized in a tree like structure. There's some initial very low level code used to start the OS, and every other process spawns from that, which is to say they tell the operating system "Hey, please make this process I'm gonna tell you about - allocate resources for it, etc." The operating system creates it and binds that new child process to the first one. The process that spawned the other process is called its parent. The process that just got spawned is called a child. You could also call them root and leaf processes, I suppose, but nobody really does that. Sometimes you want to get rid of all the child processes a process spawns, but leave the running process intact. Sometimes you want to kill the process that spawned everything and also cleanup anything it might have created. There are lots of programming scenarios in which you might want to do either. It really depends on how your application is designed and what it's doing.

That all said, there's a command in Linux called "kill" and you can tell it the process id, process group id, etc. to kill a process or a process group. You can also manipulate what are called SIGNALS. Signals are a whole thing in Linux. They're basically small values you can send to processes at any time and the operating system forces the process to perform some action whenever it receives one of them. SIGTERM basically stands for "SIGNAL: TERMINATE PROCESS." So if you "trap" the SIGTERM, you can basically tell the operating system - whenever this parent process receives a SIGTERM, ignore it. The other processes in the process group - the child processes - all terminate, though, when they receive it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

this is good we don't want the ai to learn how to kill children gave we learned nothing from the matrix

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago
load more comments
view more: next ›