Ask Lemmy

I worked as a transplant coordinator, and that job was soul crushing every day.

One of the worst moments was being on the intake phones. It a phone number every hospital in the area calls whenever anyone dies. They report the details of the death, and we determine if there's any possibility for donation.

I knew my uncle had been sick, but nobody told me they put him in hospice care and had withdrawn treatment. I took hundreds of calls, maybe thousands, but I still remember the feel of the receiver in my hand when the voice on the line said his name.

There were many sad stories, many sad days, so much that you become numb to it. It was horrible, but it made my job easier because when the numbness sets in, you can think of the trauma and empathize.

Realizing that all of the patriotic stuff I was fed as a child was bullshit, and realizing what I had actually become a part of by joining the US Army.

Something one of my exes said to me that id rather not think about let alone repeat. Break ups can bring out an evil darkness in people that you didn't know was there.

I fully admit, I thought a crushing trump defeat and a dual chamber Clinton victory would finally force the Republican party back to sanity.

Back in those days, I dunno, I didn't exactly think we'd solve problems like climate change or sweatshops but they weren't beyond all possibility.

My youngest daughter dying.

Applying for over 300 jobs in my field and getting zero offers, and getting scammed by the one "job" that ever gave me an "offer."

Trusting the wrong person over myself, and letting what had been a decent working friendship turn into an abusive long-term relationship in which I was exploited for work and money, berated for and demanded to change fundamental things about myself, alienated from friends and family my partner didn't like, had every past trauma, mental-health struggle, and vulnerability I'd trustingly shared with this person weaponized against me, and was routinely gaslit to such a degree that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone just to make sure I wasn't actually misremembering everything later when this person inevitably insisted the talk had gone completely differently.

Even knowing I was being so abused, I had let so much of my life get wrapped up with this person and was so downtrodden in heart and soul that I found myself remaining dependent on the situation and unable to even think about getting out of it. I felt trapped, but unable to do anything except continue to go with it and pretend everything was just fine. This strategy was, of course, unsustainable; it all eventually blew up to the point where my abuser finally got sick of me, whereupon I was dumped, kicked out, and left unhoused and couch-surfing.

It took me a great deal of time to pick up the scraps and rebuild my life, thankfully with the help of some amazing friends and family who were happy to have me back and helped pull me up onto my feet again. After rebuilding my own independence from scratch and taking a long while to work on myself and my own mental and physical health, I eventually began dating again. I met the most wonderful person, and we've now been happily and healthy married for years. My shitty ex is long in the past, and I'm content to leave things that way.

I'm sure it's not much compared to what many here experienced, but it took me a long time to properly recover from this.

A couple years back on Christmas Eve, a few of my then friends, or at least acquaintances ripped apart my friend group. Doxxed me (I'm told) and slandered me for days. Basically out of nowhere from my perspective. No fights that I can recall were had shortly before and I was still having friendly conversations with the perpetrators that same day. I tried asking the "leaders" what I might've been accused of and I never got a single answer. Not even a "you should know". Just a message from my girlfriend telling me I should go offline for a while and beyond that, radio silence for a solid day.

Some time later my girlfriend told me one of them had been trying for weeks to convince her I was toxic. Manipulative. Untrustworthy. We're engaged now, somehow. She brings way more to the table than I do, but I do my best to make her days more interesting and I'm happier than I've ever been. I hope I bring her a similar comfort. I also got back in contact with a few of those old friends a year later.

But for a whole year and out of nowhere, I had to cut contact with essentially everyone I talked to online. And let's not kid ourselves, I'm an introverted nerd somewhere on the spectrum, that was basically my whole social circle. I'm told their... whatever this all was for ended up imploding, but I learned that day how easy it is to get exploited and mislead by those we trust.

live suicide IRL in a violent way.
Being part of a minority in a racist country.

I was just sitting on the couch and my then gf went down into the basement, she tripped and fell down the stairs. I ran to the doorway and saw her on the concrete floor and the only word I can use to describe her was "broken".

I swear it was all in black and white. Time wasn't working right. I was with her while we waited for the ambulance I called.

We broke up about three years later and she had knee problems even than.

Working IT helpdesk for a shady VSP. I mean it was fun, but i've seen many fucked up websites, child porn, revenge rape, etc. and received calls from DHS, FBI, state police, Suicide Prevention Services, etc. over all of that shit...

Working critical care during the worst parts of the pandemic

Seven years in a relationship with an alcoholic. Leaving was the best and hardest thing I ever done

The holocost museum in Washington DC. Its a must go for anyone that's in the area.

Life in general. Like a hydraulic press.

2007 my older sister died.

Childhood and adulthood

Living in the year 2013.

I lost a couple of people in my life and handled both in ways I still regret. I also have my sense of enjoyment challenged in absurd manners, and perhaps it's these two things that have made me self-numb.

the memorial in Hiroshima Japan. And equivocally pearl harbour. Pearl harbour was a must after Hiroshima as you can see how a side can really darken and twist a lot of it with a heavy layer of undying racism. Kids in Japan still send paper cranes.