this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Since a lot of women have started to call their female friends "girlfriends", I have to wonder how women with actual girlfriends have been dealing with this lol

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm neither a lesbian nor a woman but the word "partner" is pretty universally understood.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Unless they work as a policewoman.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

They could also be in business together. Or cowboys.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Then add "...at work" in the same breath. Guys, we don't need to reinvent language.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do you differentiate cowboys?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I use that to refer to business partners and people have been confused by it.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah I thought about that one too, but it feels too broad of a term. Partner could be used to refer to a work colleague. And I'd feel really tempted to add "in crime" at the end lol

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"This is Jane, we're fucking."

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Right now?

I clearly don't know how being a lesbian works.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Crashumbc 6 points 1 year ago

Just don't ask where the meat comes from.

You see any cows around here?

Spanish...

Rat burger? This is a rat burger?

Pretty good!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Someone once introduced their gf literally saying "We are in a relationship" - it's sounds awkward/clunky but I didn't even notice that, it didn't make me think for a moment, its precise, short, and above all clear. I appreciate direct communication way more than 'what sounds nice'.

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[–] captainlezbian 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

“This is my wife” works real well

For my girlfriend, I mostly just correct people if they’re mistaken. “Oh we’re more than just friends” type statements.

Also fuck is the platonic use of girlfriend back? Dammit

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah, hate to break it to you, but it isn't even just women/girls using it for platonic friends. Men/boys are too.

Not too surprisingly, that hasn't happened with boyfriend that I've run across. Which is kinda fucked up when you consider what the difference in usage represents.

[–] captainlezbian 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My grandma talks like that but in my area in my generation it’s generally understood that [gender]friend is romantic and friend isn’t. If gender is relevant it’s “the [genders]”

That terminology is incredibly frustrating as a lesbian. Especially since it’s regularly used alongside calling my wife my friend despite me repeatedly referring to her as my wife

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I understand why this is frustrating and am not trying to take that from you, but thought you'd enjoy knowing that the last old lady who I confronted about calling my girlfriend as my girlfriend (in the platonic sense) was genuinely confused about my irritation, since "isn't that the best part of having a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend? That they're also your best friend? I always thought you two really got that part right."

It's some arethestraightsokay stuff (and happened in like 2004) but I thought it might give you a smile.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I heard that violently frenching in front of them would clear any misunderstanding, nuance or misinterpretation.

"Nope, Mildred, those ain't gals pals, for sure"

[–] captainlezbian 5 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Unfortunately it will just get us sexually harassed or disowned depending on the audience

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“This person is my lover Karen”

Just introduce them as your partner. Lesbians are so habitually entrenched in hiding their sexuality.

I have so many pairs of “friends” come in appliance shopping. Gay men come in, it’s “This is my husband Mike”. Gay women come in and it’s like “This is my friend Paula. She helps me pick out appliances and definitely doesn’t live with me”.

I don’t pry, because I’m just selling appliances. But it’s pretty obvious.

[–] Lennnny 6 points 1 year ago

Robert Dyas?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Started?" Here in Tennessee we never stopped calling each other girlfriend.

But as others said, "Partner." I use it to talk about my boyfriend (since I'm a well-known demi person locally and the sex of whoever I'm with can be a massive question mark.)

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Since a lot of women have started to call their female friends "girlfriends"

This isn't really a new thing, though... Is it? Or did I miss the era where we didn't use "girlfriend" - at least sometimes - when talking about a female friend?

[–] smort 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah my 70 yo aunt has had platonic “girlfriends” for at least 30 years

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Oh damn, I thought it was a more recent thing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I can tell you’re young because 30 years doesn’t seem recent to you.

When I hear of a 70-year-old woman who’s been doing something for the last 30 years, I read that as a recent cultural change happened.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Since a lot of women have started to call their female friends “girlfriends

That was the original meaning of the word before it ever had romantic connotations.

From Wikipedia...

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earliest meaning of the word "girlfriend", from 1859 on, was to designate "a female friend; esp. a woman's close female friend". In the late 1800s, it took on the meaning of "A female with whom a person has a romantic or sexual relationship".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The new way of referring to your SO is “partner”.

So I guess like that?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This, I still use girlfriend interchangeably for both and it absolutely creates confusion.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lots of handholding and kissing when introducing them?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But isn't that something girls do as... just gals being pals?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In the mouth? Probably not 🤔.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are you sure that isn't just girls doing normal girl things?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Especially late at night during the sexy pillow fights right?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

IDK, or at least I don't think so 😂.

[–] RampantParanoia2365 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not a lesbian, but I'd probably just say girlfriend and expect people to be able to understand context.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't know if it's just a local slang, but most straight girls I know will refer to their close female friends as girlfriends.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
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