this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] robocall 67 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I guess cry profusely after sex because I never get any

[–] tourist 21 points 1 year ago

Same

Option may as well have been "lose an eyelash every time you get elected president of Uzbekistan"

[–] Mandarbmax 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Same! Virgins ASSEMBLE 💪

😭

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

... at a brothel

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Green

I can handle being the weird dude that takes super loud shits in public bathrooms. That'll just make people leave me alone.
I can't handle making my girlfriend feel like shit every time we're intimate. That would be debilitating to our relationship.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I'd take *red, easy. I'd just explain that it's just a thing that happens once and I'd be set.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

also like.. many people already live with it lmao

the absolute state of people's digestive health

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Whoops I meant red. I'd explain the crying thing to my wife once and be done with it.

[–] ratz30 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Green will quickly result in having no girlfriend though, unless you come up with some scheme to allow you to never poop in the same building as her.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Or you explain it

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I don't mind a bit of construction work. Wouldn't be hard to tear down the drywall in the bathroom and pack the stud walls with Rockwool soundproofing insulation. And also swap the door out for a double-thickness solid core sound-deadening door with a sealing sweep. That's like a couple weekend's worth of work max.

Also she is an absolute saint and would probably be fine dealing with it to stay with me.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So seither i embaress myself everytime i shit or nothing happens?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Embarrass? Dominate your dook dome. Yell with a nice, themly yell that says to everyone "that's a shit that's gonna take at least one flush"

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

that's my superpower.

[–] abracaDavid 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I already scream when I poop. It's not that big of a deal.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wife in the other room: Are you ok!?

Me: Just prayin'

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

ooAAAAAAAAAAA we're halfway there

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

livin on a prayer

[–] ThatOneDudeFromOhio 16 points 1 year ago

Poop scream would be fun.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Green.

There are ways to dampen and quiet down the screaming.
Since you probably always poop alone, you can use external tools and no one will know.

So green can with experimenting and time lead to almost no side effects.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Red

Added bonus: I'll never cry.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sometimes i wonder whether people are just joking or if there are really so many sex starved people out there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

There's a lot of us. Extreme shyness and such. Doesn't matter how cute and handsome you are, if you're too chickenshit to go talk to the girl smiling at you from across the bar. It's also difficult to know if she's really into you, she could just be Canadian. :D And then you have all the incels whom I really don't understand. But they have a whole subreddit, if you wanna go take a dip in the cesspool.

[–] Anomalous_Llama 2 points 1 year ago

The absolute state of the people in this thread

[–] MooseBoys 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait, you’re telling me poop screams aren’t normal?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 3 points 1 year ago

That's just Tuesday for my cat

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I don't remember clicking those both buttons at the same time ... :|

[–] FlickeringScreens 9 points 1 year ago

What if I already do this?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Klear 3 points 1 year ago

Happy feast of Winter Veil!

[–] thefloweracidic 6 points 1 year ago

Lol crying during sex can be cathartic

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

So I only need to do one of these anymore? Thats improvement

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] Mediocre_Bard 2 points 1 year ago