submitted 7 months ago by mypasswordis1234 to c/asklemmy
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[-] bi_tux 47 points 7 months ago
[-] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Hi Trans, I'm Dad!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

There'll be loved ones to tell someday.

[-] shandrakor 13 points 7 months ago

Well I love you and I'm proud of you for being you (=

[-] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Mom here. I'm proud of you. 💖

[-] captainlezbian 12 points 7 months ago

Well that’s a shame. They oughta be folks you can be yourself around

[-] [email protected] 45 points 7 months ago

Your drinking is ruining our relationship, and your relationships with your grandkids.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

I have a good relationship with my dad now but that wasn't always the case. It's too long a story for this comment but I've confronted him a few times over the years about various things. On one such occasion, he said something to the effect of, "Why don't my kids ever want anything to do with me?"

I said, " I love you Dad, but you're an angry dick about everything and you always have been. Would you want to spend time with your dad if he was like that?" His dad was exactly like that. He didn't say anything but I knew I struck a nerve. He's worked on himself a lot and is a much, much better grandpa than he was a father.

I don't know your situation and you can't change your family members behavior. That's on them. But sometimes it's ok to let them know what their behavior is doing to everyone else around them. They may not understand that. And if they do and just don't care, then they'll have to deal with the consequences.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

That's great advice, thank you. I'll have to relay it to my sister since she's the one actually dealing with it since I moved out of state like 20 years ago and rarely go home. Maybe we'll have to gang up on him/have an intervention. It's just hard to catch his ass sober.

[-] glimse 41 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I could tell them I get wasted every Friday and no one would bat an eye...but my mom would have a heart attack if she found out I've ever been in the same room with marijuana. I'm in my 30s. Some things are better left as secrets

[-] surewhynotlem 20 points 7 months ago
[-] Dellyjonut 8 points 7 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I can’t feel empathy and the only reason why I am sad when you are sad is because I’ve learned that faking it makes you happier.

[-] Fleur__ 26 points 7 months ago

So you do something for no reason for the benefit of someone who is suffering while you are not suffering? How empathetic lmao

[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Wouldn't that just be sympathy?

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[-] shandrakor 10 points 7 months ago

That's exactly what I thought.. it's just empathy with extra steps?

[-] p5f20w18k 9 points 7 months ago

Manual empathy

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[-] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago

"hit me up on Grindr for some good bussy."

[-] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

I tried to kill myself. Twice. I would either have to deal with my old man's shit or break my mom's heart, neither of which I could tolerate.

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[-] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago

That I'm not doing as well as I thought I might be doing.

[-] Dasnap 19 points 7 months ago

They're buried at 51° 23' 3.0372'' N 2° 21' 47.9916'' W

[-] MicrosoftSam 9 points 7 months ago

Should someone look into this?

[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

eh it leads to the middle of Gay st., Bath UK. So likely troll location like when people point to the white house in similar context.

spoileror maybe that's what they want you to believe. Dun Dun DUNNNN!!

[-] Dasnap 4 points 7 months ago

Nah, I just told the family that Hammy had to go and live on a farm :(

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

I am choosing between living with them and homelessness. Otherwise, I would be anywhere else.

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

Nice try, Honey!

[-] shandrakor 17 points 7 months ago

One specific family member, hope that's okay. But I could never tell my mom about when I was molested on a work trip with her ex-partners company. One of the families took in troubled boys and I woke up in the cabin with him in my bed. Hands in my clothes and drunk as hell. I beat him so bad. One of the other actual children of employees woke up and helped pull me off him and got him out of there. We never talked about it. I don't know what he(the helper) knew at the time. What I do know is if I ever tell my mother this she will drive and she will one hundred percent kill the people who brought that monster into my life. And I love her too much to put her through that (both having to hear it, and the murder, and the subsequent jail time).

[-] MaroonMage 4 points 7 months ago

That sounds terrible. I hope you are doing ok now.

[-] shandrakor 8 points 7 months ago

It was, but I am actually doing really well now, generally. Stable and supportive partner. Love and joy on the daily!

Have some health issues but I feel like who doesn't these days? It does make having friends a struggle but I have a lot of.. acquaintances and small relationships can be fulfilling, in their own way.

Generally great relationships with my family, minus several humans who have been downgraded to biological associates.

On the whole pretty excellent and like to think I'm doing as well for those around me as I can despite my limitations.

Sorry, unsuspecting victims, for the wall of text, the word vomit needed out, I suppose.

[-] skybreaker 16 points 7 months ago

I don't want to be around you.

I wouldn't tell my loved one that because I DO want to be around her.

[-] Shardikprime 14 points 7 months ago

The skin you have in your lips is the same type of skin in your butthole. You are welcome

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

That’s why they’re so chapped then

[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

You're all annoying, some a lot more than others.

[-] plz1 9 points 7 months ago

I'll likely retire before my parents, aunts and uncles. I won't tell them, I"ll just stop working and if they ask, I will say I'm an investment manager. Boomers and Gen X were shit with their finances, I guess.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Swear words. (Young kids around)

Edit: mi spelin knough gud

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[-] Transcendant 8 points 7 months ago

I'm genuinely struggling to think of anything. I don't have a lot of loved ones but define them with the criteria "I can be my true self around them".

I have definitely lost loved ones because they couldn't come to terms with who I am (pansexual). Many people hate you for being bi, let alone pan. My sympathies to all those who have to hide, have been there. I've lived in rough places where I couldn't even allow a smidgeon of my true self to emerge, and it kills the soul.

[-] Nibodhika 5 points 7 months ago

I don't mean to be offensive, but what is the difference between bi and pan? It always seemed a meaningless term because bi already covers basically everything.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

My girlfriend wants to marry me and it's breaking my heart.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Because I'm already married in a poly relationship.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Wait so you girlfriend does not know it's a poly relationship?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

No, she does. She's just going through a hard relationship moment on her end at this time.

[-] shandrakor 5 points 7 months ago

Okay, so my partner is just recently divorced from his years-estranged wife. He does not know if he wants to get married again, but I do. In loving him and being loved by him I found the reason people would want to tie their lives so fully with another's. You are theirs and they are yours.

This bothered me for a long time, and I promise I'm coming to something (that I think might be) relevant to your situation.

I read a book.. where the crawdads sing? I'm pretty sure. Anyhow a line in the book rang true with me, "we are married like wolves and geese are married" and I love that so much.

So, while you cannot marry her in a legal sense, you can be romantic as fuck.

Also! Just thought of this while typing. Do a commitment ceremony, nothing legal obviously but maybe do a cool cultural marriage ceremony like jumping over a broom around a fire or any of the myriad other marriage ceremonies other cultures use.

Anyhow I'm sorry she's having a hard time and I wish you and yours (and theirs (= ) all the very best. I can imagine a poly relationship could be difficult at times but it sounds like you're doing all the right things.

Stay awesome!

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[-] Rhynoplaz 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Any one of you could die today and I may not even find out, and most likely won't care.

I should clarify that I can't tell my loved ones this because it's not true. No offense, but I don't know you and don't expect you to feel any different about me.

[-] captainlezbian 7 points 7 months ago

I don’t think I care for a significant portion of y’all.

Like on the whole you’re fine, but you’re no my loved ones ya know

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[-] Smokeydope 7 points 7 months ago

"I'm not interested in entertaining your whacky mentally Ill monkey bullshit. I don't care what shakespearean sob story you've spun for yourself to justify your poor self control. You are a grown ass adult, stop using a few traumatic life events that happened decades ago to excuse your current shitty actions.

My immediate loved ones are the only people I really really really try to have empathy for and forgive them for their poor self control and lack of trying to even consider improving themselves. Everyone else who tries to spin me their sob story for why they act like pieces of shit can get bent.

[-] atrielienz 6 points 7 months ago

I love you but being close to you is not good for my mental health and I am struggling through life right now and cannot spare the time or energy for your drama or mental illness.

[-] JewGoblin 5 points 7 months ago

I don't drink sugar in my coffee anymore

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this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
86 points (96.7% liked)

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