this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

The Kraft Method

Note: this is a shit post. I still swear it is impossible.

https://imgur.io/gallery/yY59P

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The post does not say that you will be able to penetrate with the index finger. It just recommends to place the finger that way.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

If you want to be able to penetrate with an index finger, I'm off work in about 2 hours. Wait....what?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I feel the secret might be how the thumb and middle finger squeeze the sides of the box.

I'll try it out someday, but I probably won't report back. (Don't want to get your hopes up).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

while you kiss your ass goodbye, and the box of noodles and cheesy flavoring defeats you yet again

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Look at the girth of that dude's index finger. No wonder it works for him.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I used to just cut the top off of the box using a kitchen knife. I would start just below one of the corners, with the box on it's side, and I sawed through it.

I got some funny looks for that one when I first did it on autopilot around other people lmao.

You know that the serrated lines on the box aren't great when cutting the cardboard with a kitchen knife is legitimately easier. The blade wasn't even serrated.

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[–] over_clox 66 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I just boil and eat the entire box like any normal person.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

I pay for the box. I eat the box.

[–] delvan 13 points 1 year ago

Most of the nutrients are in the rind, I'm aghast to learn that most people just throw the box away!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

If it tastes like it looks on the package, a viable option. Has probably more nutritional value, too.

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[–] jennwiththesea 56 points 1 year ago

The one that kills me is when the glue they use to close the box is stronger than the box itself, so you wind up just ripping it open.

[–] AcornCarnage 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I swear to God, in all my life I feel like it's only worked fewer than 5 times.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're not extending your chi through your finger when you push. The instructions take that for granted, but they really should be more specific.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I tried extending my chi, but it just made my jar of salsa fall on the floor and shatter.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think you all just have weak thumbs. I've always opened them just as the package says to. Never had a problem.

As a kid, I would have thumb wrestling matches with my older brother, and sometimes, on weekends, I'd hitchhike. I used my thumbs a lot. I've had to replace 4 space bars on my keyboard.

Never skip thumb day.

[–] regular_human 47 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Me and the boys on thumb day

[–] TitanLaGrange 8 points 1 year ago

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's thumbthing weird about that image.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

It's possible, but it's a very high Dex roll.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

90% of the time the whole box collapses before the perforation breaks.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Latest kitty litter I bought actually says "opens inward for easy pouring" 🙄. Worst part of the chore stabbing it with a finger and hooking the tab back through so it doesn't block all the litter.

[–] Anamnesis 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I too have been flummoxed by this obnoxious design choice.

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[–] CaptainFortissimo 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I actually just recently, after years of frustration, figured out a technique that works. You squeeze the box near the opening so that it bulges out. Then you can poke it with your finger and rip the top open. Feels like gutting a fish, which I assume now is what they were going for.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I usually just knuckle-punch them in.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

It's not that your thumbs aren't strong enough, it's that they aren't sharp enough.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s not you. The only person that consistently works for is Freddy Krueger.

[–] shanjezi 10 points 1 year ago

Edward Scissorhands

[–] Tylerdurdon 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Companies do a really bad job at product testing when it comes to opening stuff. The best ones are where you damage the product because it's so hard to open. It's like they never thought to actually try using the stupid little pull tab they give us to actually open their own product.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

there is nothing more infuriating than buying a jar of salsa from the store, and then trying to open it only to have the jar fly out of your hands and break into tiny pieces that you now have to clean up along with salsa all over your floor.

[–] Anamnesis 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why is everyone in this thread absolutely mangling jars of salsa

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

It's not just you.

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 1 year ago

I just rip open the top of the box instead.

That's right, I'm a rebel.

[–] Dick_Justice 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know, I was just thinking earlier this week that of all the technologies we have, it's weird how much we struggle with perforation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This sort of package used to be much easier to open when I was growing up back in the 60s and 70s. I don’t know why, but packaging has gotten significantly worse since then.

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[–] Naja_Kaouthia 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I ignore these instructions entirely and just open the flappy bits. I am an agent of chaos.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Good God, the number of products where someone spent the time and effort to design in "systems" for opening/using the package, which are utterly ineffectual is mind boggling.

Did a flimsy cardboard box ever need some special tear tab to begin with?? Hell no, just glue the flap shut and we will open it like every other food box on the planet.

Shit that is infuriating.

[–] garretble 13 points 1 year ago

I got a different brand of Mac and cheese once and it opened right up using the same instructions.

I feel like the name brand is just messing with people.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

The Weaklings must be sacrificed to the pit of fire.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have pretty strong thumbs and generally just end up tearing off most of the top and being pissed at the stupid design.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I thought that's how it was supposed to work?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

it aren't supposed to be your thumb just a thumb.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

An unsettling yet plausible interpretation

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

no kidding the last box of mac'n'cheese i opened, that was the TOUGHEST spot on the box, i just ripped the lid off

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You're supposed to use your thumb to lift that flap, as instructed, not try to punch a hole in it. Start at the side.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As instructed: 'insert thumb'.

I don't think I am the only one thinking inserting on a flat fragile surface means: "punch hole".

If it had some cavity for your thumb to be inserted in it would make more sense.

"Grip corner and lift"?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Here's the CEO of a company on national television showing off his company's new packaging design. The instructions are to mess with you. Even CEOs can't open their own damn products.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-p8YpR7rJc

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[–] poopsmith 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How is this mac? I've never had it, but I love (and hate) the Kraft stuff.

[–] Tarquinn2049 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Used to love kraft dinner. Til the big change. The one where their advertising campaign was that no one even noticed... Can't stand it any more. Probably for the best, we used to eat a certainly unhealthy amount before. Like 3-4 meals a week, whether lunch or part of supper.

It just tastes like burnt cheddar now. Looked all over for a replacement, saw so many people claiming other products or recipes that taste "just like" the old KD. There are none. Those people are wrong. Either they are unwittingly non-tasters and thus unable to factor that into their endorsements, or they are aware they are wrong but are hoping to sell a product anyway.

There is no substitute, it will never be what it was, we have to accept it will never be again. And hopefully with it out of our lives, it will eventually find it's way out of our minds. Can only console myself knowing that it was basically a drug that I probably am better off without... but man was it ever a good drug. Just a box full of comfort, with no immediate downside. I would probably invite it right back if I ever did exist again...

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