this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a bait or any kind of bad-faith devaluing or stereotyping. This is only based on my experience, hearing similar stories from others and wanting to understand. I'm aware that there are good and bad people everywhere.

So I'm European and starting on a good note I always admired America for many things like the freedom, diversity and cool movies.

But after more experience with meeting real Americans I noticed this personality type that I and I think many other non-Americans would describe as arrogant.

Like I stated before I'm not saying every American is like that and I know there are many very nice Americans. But I often saw that some Americans seem to only be nice on the surface (if at all) but actually seem to have this attitude of "I don't give a f about you". And I know that America is a very individualistic culture that focuses on the self and the belief that everyone can achieve anything on their own.

But I still think having a sense of empathy and sensitivity towards others is a very important core human quality that everyone should have. And from personal experience and also from a very prevalent notion of others both in every day life and when looking it up online it's clear that many non-Americans perceive many Americans to cross a line there.

For example there's a prevalent observation of Americans visiting other countries and acting like they own the place by being very loud, demanding and not accepting if things aren't the same way as they are in America.

We know that Americans have very big issues with divisiveness and social injustice and it seams like there's also this sort of "ghetto" personality including trash-talking, lots of vulgar slang and slurs and bragging.

And a general perception of money playing a big role as if many Americans judge someone's worth by money and this attitude of not feeling like needing to help someone. I think there's this famous description of a person lying in the middle of the ground in a public city and people just walk around the person not feeling the need to help.

It almost feels like they're very entitled and put their ego up way higher than it actually is and lacking the quality of making themselves smaller/putting themselves second to treat others with more dignity.

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[–] LovableSidekick 2 points 26 minutes ago* (last edited 41 seconds ago)

I could say the same about Germans based on their tourists, but it's because the most obnoxious people tend to be the most noticeable. Then meme-level thinking makes the false assumption that millions of others must be identical to them, because "it's obvious" or some such irrefutable logic.

[–] FlashMobOfOne 1 points 46 minutes ago

It's who we are.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I'm a Canadian who has lived and worked in the US, so I've got some familiarity with it.

There is a pervading sense of exceptionalism buried deep in the American zeitgeist. It runs so deep that most people don't even notice it - even on the outer edges.

Case in point: My closest friends down there were staunch leftists. In a land of gun owners and meat lovers, they were vegetarians and pacifists who marched in protests against the government. Most of the time they were quiet, charming, soft-spoken, but firm in their beliefs. Pretty much the polar opposite of the "loudmouth American tourist abroad" stereotype.

And yet if you asked them if the US was the greatest country on earth, they'd say "well yeah, which is why we have to fight for it." An admirable sentiment, but the "well yeah" speaks volumes for how the country sees itself.

The protest singers who lived through McCarthy are the same. Woody Guthrie and his son Arlo would probably say that for all of its flaws and horror, the US is still the best nation we've got so far.

When you know deep in your soul that you're the best, it's hard not to let some subconscious arrogance show through.

[–] chonglibloodsport 2 points 34 minutes ago

buried deep in the American zeitgeist

I think you mean American psyche. Zeitgeist means the spirit of the times. It usually refers to the present way of thinking or the way things were at one time.

The American psyche is much more of a timeless thing, stretching all the way back to the attitudes and beliefs of the founding fathers when they drafted the Declaration of Independence. Norman Rockwell’s paintings, Robert Frost’s poems, John Steinbeck’s books, the games of baseball and (gridiron) football. These are just some of the cultural artifacts said to be part of the American psyche.

[–] Djfok43 9 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Where in Europe are you from? Cause Im from Europe and i feel like this is just a human trait. To answer your question though, america is basically the center of the world for a lot of people, and they truly do think america is better than the rest of the world. That's probably why.

[–] thermal_shock 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Most Americans don't have passports and only know about outside USA from TV and news. And if they're watching fox, they hate themselves as much as they hate outside USA. So yeah, were uncultured swine in that regard.

I do not feel USA is the best, haven't in a long time, in fact lately we're sliding downhill so fast, literally racing to the bottom of everything, education, empathy, human rights, healthcare, basic reading skills, astronomical prices, burnout... You name it, we've fucked it up.

[–] Djfok43 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I mean it's not a personal attack on anyone, I'm well aware definitely not all Americans think america is the best. Not even saying it's super common, was just giving an idea as to why OP might have this perception

I have noticed it's less common to travel outside of America. This makes sense though because america is huge and has a lot of places to visit.

[–] thermal_shock 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Yeah but America thinks theit shit doesn't stink and it's getting really annoying.

[–] Djfok43 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah, I understand how that can be annoying

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I’m sure if you polled the average American they would not agree that “America is better than the rest of the world “. Maybe 20-30 years ago that might have been true.

[–] Djfok43 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Not sure what the average American is, but every American I've spoken to seemed to like it there.

[–] thermal_shock 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Liking it and thinking it's the best in the world are different. I like our national parks, but we're far from the best.

[–] Djfok43 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Where are the best national parks then in your opinion?

[–] thermal_shock 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Any of them really. Shenandoah is near me and it's a beautiful place to go especially during the summer. I like going up to PA during the winter I found a lean to that you can block off the wind and snow pretty well and it's fun to camping though winter. Don't remember the name of the park though. Zion national Park is amazing but I haven't been there since 2016.

[–] Djfok43 1 points 1 hour ago

Oh, I thought you meant US national parks are far from the best haha

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 hours ago

The U.S. is like any other country; it has its share of assholes. But I generally avoid painting everyone of however many million people with the same broad brush.

There is a somewhat obnoxious level of patriotism to Americans in general that comes from simply being the biggest economy and a net cultural exporter to the rest of the world; think blue jeans and coca-cola, metaphorically. (I'm sorry, Americans, but it's true. Put on your big boy pants and deal with the criticism like adults, please.)

But it only rises to the level of arrogance in those people who think that the rest of the world only exists because of them and should behave as some sort of client state to American hegemony.

That's not all Americans. Heck, I'd say it's not even most Americans. But they're just really really loud and drown out everything else.

[–] Aztechnology 4 points 4 hours ago

More ashamed of my country than ever and feel stuck here. From California and feel like we have some dead corpse strapped to us.

[–] scarabic 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

With all the constant anti-American sentiment on here day after day I’d like to count every single time I return here in the “American humility” column, thank you very much. Signed, one of the “good ones.”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

It's not all Americans, but there is a certain type that when you see them, you know it.

I'm talking the type in baggy cargo shorts who 20 seconds after meeting them brags about having great weed and how many women they've fucked.

I had one of those come work with us in Mexico some 6 years back. We had an integrated karate dojo where all employees could train and at the first (and last) training he joined he immediately grabbed two women by their breasts because USA! USA! USA!

Since I ran that dojo he was banned right there and then, but the company owner did not wanted to fire him because he saw absolutely no problem with that behavior. Owner was Russian so take from that what you will about certain types of Russians

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

I’ve heard similar stories during my random travels around the world over the years. It’s unfortunate that people in Europe and elsewhere are subjected to these negative encounters. As you said, I don’t believe it’s every American, but from these consistently shared anecdotes, I learned early on in my travels that the USA is not always sending its best people. 

With that said, I would like to share some observations about this from the perspective of someone from the USA. Amongst my friends and other American travelers I have spoken with, there is a noticeable anti-American sentiment that we have felt from, for example, Europeans while we are traveling throughout Europe. It ranges anywhere from immediate, perceptible changes in demeanor upon hearing my accent, to unsolicited and overly judgmental comments on every aspect of American society, all the way to unprovoked anger. 

Many of the complaints I’ve heard from Europeans about Americans, I’ve ironically experienced myself from Europeans: arrogance, intolerance, racism, overt drunkenness and loudness, a lack of understanding about geography (Europeans don’t seem to understand how large the USA is), uninformed opinions they absorbed from sensationalized media sources, etc.

As a result of these experiences, we are sometimes hesitant to talk or discuss anything related to our country when forced into a conversation about these topics. The key word is forced. This is not to say we are afraid of admitting the issues that are prevalent throughout our society. In fact, I would say most Americans who are traveling would agree with you. It’s just that when we travel, it can be difficult to have a conversation with a European without being bombarded by unsolicited opinions on everything they believe is inherently wrong with me. While I have encountered this elsewhere, this tends to be a mostly European experience for me.

Having to hear that over and over can get tiresome, whether deserved or not. Especially since this isn’t something new, and has been going on for many years before the Trump and Bush eras. I’ve resorted to self-deprecating humor when any of those topics come up, which seems to assuage most people. I’ve noticed a lot of Americans do this online or in person, even some taking it to the point of self flagellation.  

All of this is to say that most of my travels and encounters with people around the world are positive. It’s a great way to experience other cultures and people different than our own self-contained society. It’s one of the reasons why I love to travel, and encourage most of my fellow Americans to do so. The more we learn about the world, the better we will be at being good neighbors. Until then, I’m sorry we keep sending shitty people to your countries.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (3 children)

Europeans don’t seem to understand how large the USA is), uninformed opinions they absorbed from sensationalized media sources, etc.

We're aware but who nobody actually cares when 95% of cities all look like the same garbage car designed extreme sprawl hellhole. And yes I know that's an exaggeration, but you from south england to wales or Manchester then upto to Edinburgh youd see more variation than most of USA in culture and city

While I have encountered this elsewhere, this tends to be a mostly European experience for me.

As an ethnic south Asian who goes to Asia a bunch, I can can tell you. Americans are genuinely loved in very few places and even those that aren't outright telling you suck, are just people more polite and jumble than the Europeans but still feel the exact way. Except Americans are even more fucking animals and creeps in Asia. You aren't alone in that, British tourists can be awful, french people should be exterminated and the Chinese tourists is just a villager from hunan with too much factory money and not even sense.

That all said. Definetly not all, and many Americans exude personality. One of my best friends was a dude from Philadelphia who was a republican who became friends with the mortal enemy of the republican party haha

[–] rockstarmode 1 points 1 hour ago

french people should be exterminated

Whoa

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

but you from south england to wales or Manchester then upto to Edinburgh youd see more variation than most of USA in culture and city

Yeah no, this is just wrong, and again completely ignoring the, "people don't seem to understand how large the US is."

I am aware that most of our large cities were designed around automobiles, but there's (literally) countless smaller cities and towns that vary wildly in appearance, tradition, population, etc. 99% of which you will never even hear about as a European.

For example, do a quick Google search to see how many boroughs are in New Jersey alone. Then look at how small NJ is compared to the rest of the nation.

You can drive pretty much anywhere in the state of NJ, and be unable to swing a cat without hitting a world class pizza place, great Chinese food, amazing sushi, Mexican, Thai, etc. etc. Like quite literally the best pizza in the world.

The food you will find in a literal hole in the ground in Paterson fucking NJ is better than most of what you can find from South England to Edinburgh.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat 1 points 5 hours ago

One of my best friends was a dude from Philadelphia who was a republican who became friends with the mortal enemy of the republican party

He became friends with the concept of education?

[–] Helkriz 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I think its because they tech how great a nation is America from a very young age. The country is great. It is the best. The ultimate true power. President is like more powerful than pop. God always their for America. White american people are true American etc etc. So it goes on and they become blind of truth. Hence it forms in their character. Its the main contributing factor I believe.

[–] bradd 2 points 14 hours ago

showing an offensive attitude of superiority : proceeding from or characterized by arrogance (an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions)

[–] groats_survivor 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

As an American that worked for a German company for ~10yrs, and spent a significant amount of time in Germany, I'd say many Germans have an arrogant personality trait.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I genuinely can’t tell if they’re arrogant or if they’re knowledgeable and don’t bother to hide their expertise behind false modesty. But damn do German engineers write the best Jira tickets. So much detail, precise test steps, clarity about what changes they want made. Most engineers I get frustrated with because they don’t give us enough to work with, but German engineers almost give us too much.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Why would that indicate arrogance?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago

The Jira thing has nothing to do with arrogance. That’s just a side note about how much I like working with Germans. 😅

[–] [email protected] 2 points 12 hours ago

I think a lot of their culture revolves around adolescence. Sports, music, movies, fashion etc. are based on juvenile traits, where talking, actions and getting attention are more important than more mature things like listening and compromising.

They're not all like that, but there certainly are many who get through life in an American cultural bubble. When you reach your early twenties you probably think you've got everything figured out. That will last until you encounter other cultures that can challenge your views. A lot of Americans don't encounter other cultures.

I know plenty of Europeans who are similar, but they don't appear as one group. A German ignorant appears and speaks different than a Swedish ignorant, and both countries are known for having a similar superiority complex based on their own domestic successes. The Americans are in a disadvantage here, since everyone can hear and understand them, and there's quite a lot of them, so their presence is just a lot more obvious.

[–] marshadow 53 points 1 day ago

Others have already pointed out that we're indoctrinated into the myths of American exceptionalism and rugged individualism from a young age. I very much agree, but those myths are only part of it.

That indoctrination, combined with our lack of safety nets, shows up as a hypercompetitive attitude. ("It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.") We feel pressured to be the very best so we might earn the privilege of feeling secure and stable. Trash-talking and bragging are hamfisted attempts to portray high status.

If you look at our social injustice issues through that lens, the injustice makes a certain kind of disgusting, antisocial sense. One who's internalized the hypercompetitiveness will look at someone lying in the middle of the ground in a public city and think: they just aren't trying hard enough, they just couldn't compete. We look to others' misfortunes for reassurance that we're good enough, that we're at the front of the pack. To make oneself smaller, to put oneself second, becomes unthinkable. ("Second place is first loser.")

[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 day ago (2 children)

theres some ~~confirmation~~ selection bias in that most americans will never have the ability to travel abroad. so the group youre interfacing with are the more entitled, wealthier class which is also a much smaller contingent of americans.

[–] ivanafterall 51 points 1 day ago

Not to be contrarian, because I think you're probably right, but for example if you send my poor southern family to another country and expect better results/impressions on the populace, your gonna be in for some disappointment.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

not to be that guy, but that's selection bias

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

US citizen here, sounds like you have already figured it out:

And I know that America is a very individualistic culture that focuses on the self and the belief that everyone can achieve anything on their own.

This goes deep into the heart of the matter. A good portion of the population has been propagandized for literally decades that every man is an island and reliance on others is "pussy shit." There is no conception of society. No one wants to fix society, they all want to become rich so the rules of society just stop applying to them.

Temporarily embarrassed ~~millionaires~~ billionaires and all that.

For those of us with empathy and understanding of how economics and international relations actually function, let me tell you, it is a nightmare on our mental health. It has been that way long before Trump, too, I remember how viciously we wasted the world's outpouring of compassion after 9/11. In response to that compassion we went and swung around our big military dick in the middle east and wrecked millions upon millions of lives. It is a daily endless gaslighting by society that caring about people makes us weak. We often are literally denied opportunities to thrive because we aren't following the right "script." We will be passed over for jobs in favor of nepotism and social connections.

Like literally the entire fraternity/sorority culture in the US is and always was for forging early business connections so you can be a useless fucking loser but still rise to the top.

That culture has lead to the worst, dumbest, and least competent running the entire fucking country.

A lot of days it really feels like it would just be easier to let this system fucking kill me and let it win just to get it over with.

Somehow, though, people like me continue living out of spite for what America is and what it represents.

[–] SamboT 0 points 3 hours ago

I have a soft center and part of me wants things to slow down and be more inclusive and understanding and to have time for more connection... and generally shift our culture away from survival of the fittest.

That didnt get me anywhere and i was poor as shit and was taken advantage of by employers and the system constantly.

Now i say fuck everyone else im getting mine and relish getting ahead. Its a learned behavior that i want to shed when i have financial independence. It is what it is.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

It’s seems like USA’s culture rewards individual success above all else, hence successful people behaving like main protagonists, or even as if others were NPCs.

To be fair, other comments that speak about selection bias are also spot on: not all people there do commercial tourism, even domestically. The ones that do are successful enough to have that disposable income.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But after more experience with meeting real Americans I noticed this personality type that I and I think many other non-Americans would describe as arrogant.

Where did you meet them?

Tourists are usually only rich people who can afford traveling around the world.

Regardless, Nationalism is an idea almost universally taught in every country. I was born in People's Republic of China and National Anthems, Flag Raising Ceremonies are a common thing. Chinese movies were all WW2 war movies portraying the CCP in a posiyive light. Similar to Americans with the Pledge of Allegience, National Anthem, and American movies also portraying the US in a positive light.

People grow up with nationalism, and of course feel very arrogant because they are part of a powerful nation, so they feel superior. And the US military bases all around the world probably make them feel like they own the world, especially if the Americans you were talking to were rich tourists.

America is a very individualistic culture that focuses on the self and the belief that everyone can achieve anything on their own.

Yes this is a thing I've noticed when I immigrated to the US. Apparantly parents in the US like to kick out their kids at 18, or sometimes at 16, and kids really want to run away from parents for some reason, even though its a very bad form a financial standpoint. In many Asian cultures, you aren't expected to move out until marriage.

People in western cultures seems very anti-mask, where as in Asian countries (even the Democratic ones), they are much more willing to wear a mask.

But I still think having a sense of empathy and sensitivity towards others is a very important core human quality that everyone should have.

Empathy isn't just lacking in Americans, but all around the world. But of course, western individualism is only making that aspect worse.

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[–] stoly 20 points 1 day ago

The US suffers deeply from cultural narcissism where a significant number of people believe that their needs are more important than the needs of others.

[–] NeoNachtwaechter 11 points 1 day ago

I have observed a huuuge difference in this regard between the Usamericans that I have met in real life (when they have moved to Europe) and the ones that I have met online because they still live there.

So, one part of the arrogance comes when they have never seen the world, but talk about it as if they knew it.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Because the American culture has indocrinated Americans to put themselves first. Whoever has "me first" hard-coded in their personality tends to view everybody else as inferior, and tends to have an unwavering confidence in their own greatness.

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