this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 20 comments
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[–] ZILtoid1991 3 points 1 day ago

very high bite risk

You mean, very high chance of tooth kisses?

[–] toofpic 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like a real advice for Dwarf Fortress player

[–] Wetstew 5 points 1 day ago

They keep demanding a worthless quail bone bracelet, menacing with spikes of dolomite, and I hold my ground.

The furnaces with course with the metal of their melted armor, and the rivers shall run with goblin blood... and hallways because DF is weird with water pollutants.

[–] MrJameGumb 26 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh shit! I think my cousin might be a hydrophobic goblin! Do they also smoke too much weed and yell at video games a lot???

[–] owenfromcanada 48 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Consuming strange plants and yelling at technology they neither understand nor appreciate is textbook goblin behavior.

[–] Pencilnoob 3 points 1 day ago

Bravo this advice is excellent

[–] ewigkaiwelo 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Now please make a guide on how to find gf irl (goblin familiar)

[–] shneancy 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

most goblins can be found in their nests where they sit wishing that a perfect partner (handler) will spontaneously appear in front of them

occasionally they can be seen outside trying to abide by human norms but failing in various ways

[–] ewigkaiwelo 7 points 1 day ago

I wish a goblin would spontaneously appear near me. I even keep cheese for such an occasion

[–] toofpic 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Just go to a bar and get really drunk. There is a non-zero chance that you wake near a goblin-girl.

[–] ewigkaiwelo 4 points 1 day ago

'Tis a rare sight to behold a lonesome goblin in an inn, they usually visit those fashionable watering holes with their party to indulge in bacchanal and generally will not be interested in a drunken orb ponderer

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You might need to grind this quest a few times until you get the appropriate result

[–] toofpic 3 points 1 day ago

Be careful though, you can accidentially multi-class to Drunkard, and they have CHA -6 even for goblin interactions

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Time is money, friend!

[–] sunbrrnslapper 10 points 2 days ago

This made me absurdly happy.

[–] zakobjoa 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What? Goblins hate dogs and horses.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Goblins ride dogs into war.

[–] zakobjoa 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] BreadOven 1 points 1 day ago

They also ride wolves and squigs.