this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Majorllama 165 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

[–] SpruceBringsteen 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.

[–] hinterlufer 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

[–] Majorllama 16 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I'm a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

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[–] [email protected] 107 points 1 week ago (10 children)
  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..

..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (11 children)

Just have us piss from asshole

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

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[–] idiomaddict 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 week ago (1 children)

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

[–] Godnroc 57 points 1 week ago (5 children)
  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago (3 children)

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there's much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it's just not it.

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[–] cm0002 41 points 1 week ago (2 children)

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

Frankly, I don't know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go "yup, this was totally intelligently designed"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

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[–] T156 34 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Humans do bioluminisce, it's just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Well, we do glow in infrared...

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (7 children)
  • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
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[–] TropicalDingdong 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ahem... maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (3 children)

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I'll just have to wait till 3.0

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Casually forgot about cancer

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren't collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

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[–] WrenFeathers 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

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[–] Furbag 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'd like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

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[–] Alwaysnownevernotme 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Saltwater consumption when????

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