this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 133 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There was that tweet from a few years ago about how so many old ladies on their death bed would confess to killing their husbands.

I'm starting to piece it all together.

[–] surewhynotlem 90 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Accidental home deaths plummet when divorce rates rise.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wait, seriously? Do you have a source? Sounds like one of those spurious correlations to me.

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[–] DillyDaily 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean even just from a totally innocent position, I'm exhausted right now and in the past month I've almost died falling down the stairs 5 times from the sleep deprivation (the ER is getting sick of my clumsiness)

I know I'll sleep better once my cohabitation separation is finalised.

This morning I brushed my teeth with my partner's athletes foot ointment. Didn't even realise it tasted like ass and felt like wax until I was trying to spit it out and wondering why it was clinging to my teeth. I'm just not human anymore, I am physically and mentally burnt out carrying the entire cognitive and household labour load of the relationship for the last 10 years.

[–] blazeknave 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Based on the last sentence, it'll get better. Just don't beat yourself up if you're not who you were before. A decade is a long time.

[–] captainlezbian 5 points 1 month ago

Yeah, you weren't going to be the same person regardless. But also, things like that change you, a lot of things will change you. Life is about accepting where you are and making the best choices you can moving forward

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[–] PunnyName 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When you're not legally permitted to divorce, other means become necessary.

[–] Delphia 18 points 1 month ago

Goodbye Earl

[–] IHawkMike 65 points 1 month ago (10 children)

I will never understand how anyone could come to thinking aspic was a good idea.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspic

[–] grue 52 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Kraft Heinz (makers of JELL-O) propaganda.

Literally, the reason food went to shit in the '50s was because that's when all the shelf-stable and processed "convenience foods" that had been invented for WWII started getting heavily marketed to the public.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I mean... you have to imagine a world without refrigeration. Now it's ubiquitous, we have it everywhere, you can even get portable battery-powered refrigeration boxes. But at the time, cold meant icebox... literally a box that you put a big block of ice in to keep other stuff cold.

You say "food went to shit" but all those things were a real change to the previous millennia of salted meats and pickled vegetables because there was no other way to keep food edible until the next harvest. It was new and interesting.

[–] grue 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

It was also tied up in modernist space-age utopian ideals about freeing housewives from drudgery and whatnot, and from that perspective, it wasn't a bad thing.

But in retrospect (especially 2020s retrospect, seeing how corporations coopt and enshittify everything), the extent to which it was driven by cynical, gimmicky marketing is pretty darn repulsive. Think about how we have an entire generational set of "traditions" that are basically fake, invented by marketers:

  • green bean casserole became a thing to sell Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup and French's Crispy Fried Onions.
  • Betty Crocker was never a real person, but rather the persona of General Mills' marketing department.
  • Fuckin' Santa Claus as we picture him in the US is basically a genericized Coca-Cola trademark.

Basically, every recipe from the '50s, if it says "one can of X" or "one box of Y" instead of having proper quantity measurements, was created as a ploy to sell those convenience foods and there's something deeply cynical about that.

I dunno, maybe I just find it extra eerie because I understand it as the harbinger of the new gilded-age cyberpunk dystopia that we've created since then.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Oh, you are absolutely right. The whole concept of advertising as an industry happened during this period.

There is a pretty great documentary by Adam Curtis on this titled The Century of the Self, which focuses heavily on the influence of Edward Bernays. We are still dealing with the fallout of his impact on society:

Bernays used ideas of his uncle Sigmund Freud to help convince the public, among other things, that bacon and eggs was the true all-American breakfast.

There were real concerted efforts not just to get people to buy things, but to change the way people thought about things, and they were surprisingly effective.

And as far as the gilded-age cyberpunk distopia goes, I think All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace is a good follow-up. Curtis shows the overlap and collision of Randian philosophy (which influenced Alan Greenspan), the new field of ecology, and the growing digital computer revolution.

Taken together, I think these documentaries explain a lot of how we got where we are today.

[–] captainlezbian 7 points 1 month ago

It's something I'm sure the internet can't possibly relate to: brilliant and amazing, life changing innovations that by any metric should make life better in every way made into their worst selves as a means to maximize profits.

Like canned goods are amazing. In the same way advanced grain stores are the difference between starvation and survival in bad years, canning is the difference between a rough year of crap food and malnutrition. And in some contexts canned food introduces a level of convenience that's worth the cost to nutrition and flavor. Canned beans are awesome. My wife and I consider "cream of x" soups to be Midwestern roux and see them as useful tools in our kitchen.

Then there's the microwave and refrigerator that had genuinely huge benefits to everyday life and convenience.

But also everything you said is true. It permeated and destroyed our culture and communities. And our culture needed drastic changes, some of which they got. But it's just like how women did need to enter the workforce for our safety and equality, but it should've been in such a way that each parent splits the professional and domestic labor rather than wages plummeting and now both parents need to work full time.

Just as I dream of a socialism in which the trains aren't billboards but are instead a public good, I too dream of a world in which my casseroles can be made with cream of mushroom soup, not because Campbell's taught my family to cook with their ingredients but because it's a recipe where that's the ingredient that works best. And because I'm very Midwestern, and casseroles are how we show love.

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[–] alekwithak 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Interesting, I had never heard of this before.

I was immediately horrified, but it appears they date back to at least 1375 and predate fruit gelatin dishes, which makes sense considering gelatin is meat deprived. It also appears they were used for preservation, which... I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

It being described as "essentially a gelatinous version of conventional soup." And "like ruby on the platter, set in a pearl ... steeped in saffron thus, like garnet it looks, vibrantly red, shimmering on silver" certainly piques my curiosity.

[–] Rooty 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Properly prepared aspic is delicious, it was traditionally made to make use of leftover bits of slaughtered pigs (ears, hooves, snout) so that they don't go to waste. Now those bits go into the gelatin industry but aspic can be bought in sausage form (presswurst).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also a nice way to make use of the leftovers I learned about from my wife’s grandma:

Snuten un Poten (Low German for 'snouts and paws') is the name of a North German dish in which the parts of the pig were originally pickled in brine to preserve them. The cured meat is cooked for two to three hours with spices (bay leaf, juniper berries and peppercorns), removed from the bone and boiled for another 45 minutes with sauerkraut. Traditionally, the dish is served with mashed peas and spicy mustard.

Copied from Wikipedia, translated with DeepL.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] alekwithak 9 points 1 month ago

Tf did you just say to me?

Lmao 'meat deprived' has me cracking up so I'm gonna keep it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why does this sound like a slur?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Without the "a," it is a slur.

It also kind of sounds like "ass-pick" which makes it sound vulgar.

Unfortunate all around.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

We have this in Ukraine. My grandma unironically loves it and cooks it from time to time. It's basically jellified soup

[–] hark 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Culinary disaster but I must say that it looks cool!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Looks so cool that I want to keep it contained in glass and left in a museum.

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[–] hOrni 44 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At least bring back the cocaine in cough drops.

[–] PunnyName 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And codeine in cough syrup.

[–] Psythik 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Seriously. If we're really going to go back to the 1950s, then do it right, or don't do it at all.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Snort asbestos and be a real man like your grandpa

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago

Jello with floating cigarette ashes and mayo frosting.

I would joke about there being poison in this culinary sin experiment too, but I'm a millennial and you just don't threaten a millennial with a shorter life.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

Don't forget starting every day with a glass of wine and some Valium.

Actually that's not a bad idea, might make it easier to get through the next 50 years of hell.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't forget the marshmallows!

[–] PunnyName 8 points 1 month ago

And Mayo *gag*

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] renzev 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Nah, no need to bring those back. The role is already filled by microplastics and PFAS

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[–] werefreeatlast 17 points 1 month ago

god: Peter, they're doing it again! Shrimp and radish in ground up pig and cow bone and parts. Why do they hate me?

Peter: I tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen! Also they have a thing called pornhub now.

god: its a test.

[–] PalmTreeIsBestTree 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

90% tax on billionaires 1950s is what I am talking about.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I'm cool with not bringing it back to the 50s, I don't wanna hear any shit about me being "the man of the house who is supposed to take out the trash and fix everything broken and be the breadwinner" or any of that type of shit either.

[–] BeMoreCareful 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's slathered atop the jello.

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[–] Shardikprime 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Vitamins AND protein, WITH dessert?

Sign me the fuck up

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Jello is now a salad

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