this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

“Attention prosecutors: we have to drop all charges. We just found out that this guy wrote a letter to the government asking for paperwork that doesn’t exist, so now he’s immune to all laws ever. Thanks for your hard work anyway. Oh, and for those of you who are working in the prosecutor’s office for college credit, YES, your work still counts. Thanks again.”

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

I have no idea what they are saying and I'm fine not finding out.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Oh his brain's cooking, alright

[–] JigglySackles 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Fucks sake, they can't write one clear sentence. Stupidest mother fuckers alive. Any fewer brain cells and they wouldn't have to manually breath and beat their hearts.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This one isn't technically a sovcit, but he's pretty close. He thinks the phrase, "I don't answer questions," is a magical incantation that imbues him with immunity from the law. Ranting about illegal arrest and being a USA citizen. I mean, just look at his beard and stache. This guy will be a sovcit in a handful of years.

When TikTok Legal Advice Gets You Thrown Out of an Airport

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 2 points 1 day ago

Oh he's definitely on his way. There are many paths to sovcittery.

[–] IphtashuFitz 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Why do these people think that literally everything boils down to a contract of some sort or other? And ones that nobody has ever seen, aside from their own chicken scratch?

[–] MothmanDelorian 5 points 1 day ago

Because the entirety of Western political thought operates under the notion that we agree to rule. Sovcits don’t see the nuance there so they think everything is a contract and with a wave of the right wand they can magik themselves out of legal situations.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Because they misinterpret the term Social Contract and think there are similar "hidden" contracts everywhere?

[–] Sludgehammer 39 points 2 days ago (3 children)

....brain is cooking.

I mean, not gonna disagree.

[–] meco03211 10 points 2 days ago

Fevers are no joke.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

cooked is more appropo

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Gently poached in stupid.

[–] NegativeLookBehind 53 points 2 days ago (4 children)
[–] BonesOfTheMoon 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I would like someone to do a functional MRI of a sovereign citizen to see how that brain processes.

[–] Rhynoplaz 25 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

It's called a fever and they should uh, place some rocks near their headboard. The shinier the better I'm told.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Can you smell what the (crack)rock is cooking? Or is that burning plastic smell? Meth?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Boiling in its own juices. Essentially concentrating the stupid as it slowly boils away and gets more potent.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (3 children)

How do these morons not cotton on to the fact that not once has any of their nonsense ever worked?

[–] BarbecueCowboy 10 points 2 days ago

Every once in awhile some official somewhere is just like... fuck, I don't get paid enough for this and just moves on. The 1% with a singular success story holds up the entire community.

[–] shalafi 6 points 1 day ago

It's because the law is wildly complex to a layman. They see magic happening when a lawyer cleverly applies the law and think they can be clever as well. A word or a phrase can make or break a case.

Recent example; NY State charging Luigi with terrorism. People thought the state was tacking on a bullshit charge. Well, kinda. A terrorism charge is the only way state law allows a charge of first-degree murder (in this case).

tl;dr; People see technicalities applied, think they can learn this without going to law school.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 6 points 2 days ago

And they always seem so surprised!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, but this doesn't make sense to me. I genuinely don't understand the point of this.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well that makes two of us. Aren't the machinations of their brains something else?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Sometimes, yes. Some of it, I understand the point - and sometimes when I understand, I don't disagree.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm genuinely at a loss to understand the thought process of this person.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You sound like Charles Babbage:
“On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

That's the classiest way of calling someone a moron I've heard in a while.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] meco03211 3 points 2 days ago

The sovcit *overstands" it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

WTF is "due performance" and FOIA doesn't apply to private companies.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago

When they say "two corporations" they're talking about the federal and state governments they referenced earlier.

It's part of a conspiracy theory that the US government is actually a corporation (and I guess state governments now, too?). The original theory I heard was that they never actually got the 16th amendment to the constitution ratified, so in order to levy income taxes on US citizens they secretly converted the federal government to a corporation and by having a birth certificate you are an employee of the government, rather than a citizen of the country. That's of course all made up and doesn't make any sense when held to 2 seconds of scrutiny, but I've met more than one person who believed it completely.

[–] pigup 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

At least when Beavis and/or Butt-head cook up a scheme they can explain it well enough!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Hey, give me this information!"

"lolno"

".... SUDO give me this information!"

any if all

(⊙_⊙)?

spoileri learnt what sudo does from xkcd i have no knowledge of my own

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

sudo means switching to another user account with different permission settings before performing a command. Usually, people use it to switch to the admin account (root) but any account is possible. On Ubuntu (and distros configured like it) sudo can be used from the primary user account without entering a password.

So, xkcd's sudo make me a sandwich example would thus only work if there was a higher power/authority that could more or less control Cueball's friend. Also, Cueball would have to be able to become/impersonate that higher power/authority. Checkmate, atheists?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I've dabbled in network stuff since reading the xkcd so I do know slightly more than just sudo make me a sandwich but not enough to confidently make that dumb joke without fear of offending the entire Fediverse. I appreciate the explanation :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Send a letter to congress? Like…the whole thing?

And that’s the most coherent part about this whole…brain slop.

[–] son_named_bort 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And also the State of _____, like the whole state? How do you send a letter to the state itself?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Well obviously it would go to the state’s PO Box.

It’s a really big PO Box.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon 4 points 2 days ago

His brain is cooking!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

So much fucking sovcit lore that they don't understand nobody else understands

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

It's gone beyond mental gymnastics, at this point it's mental epilepsy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

They don’t understand either

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That 20% gonna be coming in clutch.

[–] meco03211 2 points 2 days ago

But what are the chances of that? Probably like 1 in a million.