this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] MidsizedSedan 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] SirYeet 5 points 2 days ago
[–] FlyingSquid 107 points 3 days ago (35 children)

There is an actual reason for this: it's because people buy other people's urine for drug tests. That little bottle has to be warm when you hand it over. I'm guessing in this case, it's a high-crime area and people have to report to their probation officers.

Just shows what a farce the whole thing is.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Also, cold piss isn't nearly as thirst quenching

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why couldn't they just use their own body heat?

Also, I'm kind of impressed they figured out how to eat it just enough to get to body temperature in a random microwave.

[–] this_1_is_mine 18 points 3 days ago (10 children)

The body is only 85 + or so degrees on the surface of the skin. It's not warm enough as internal temp will be 95+degrees and will be obvious it's not warm enough when they check the temp.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

Pro tip—stick on hand warmers and a stick on fish tank thermometer. If it’s a little too hot, just take the hand warmer off of it and wait 30 seconds until it cools to a delicious 98.6.

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[–] psycho_driver 41 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm guessing this is the closest convenience store with a microwave to a drug testing medical facility?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

PaulRuddWTFHappenedHere.jpg

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Someone probably tried to heat "clean" urine to pass a drug test.

The war on drugs killed my convenience store burritos.

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[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please 16 points 3 days ago (7 children)

I can almost guarantee someone was trying to pass a drug test. Fake piss became easy to buy, and even include things like under-belt harnesses and fake penises. So even if someone is in the room watching you take the test, it still looks legit. So modern drug tests will also check to see if the urine is at (or at least very near) body temperature.

And this presents a problem with fake piss kits, because the surface of your skin doesn’t typically stay at body temperature; It’s usually anywhere from 90-95° instead of 98. Which means that even if you wear the belt pack all day, your body heat won’t be enough to warm the fake piss up enough.

So some people will resort to microwaving it just before they walk in. Get it to like 103° at the gas station across the street, (warm, but not enough to burn you when you wear it) so that by the time you walk across the street to take your drug test, it has cooled down to body temperature.

[–] Ensign_Crab 16 points 3 days ago

Get it to like 103° at the gas station across the street,

This is gonna scare people who aren't used to Fahrenheit.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

95° really boils my piss

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Whats with that big ass USA label?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 days ago (2 children)

cos its made in AMERICAAAA RAAAAAAAAHH

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pretty sure when you turn it over you can see a small little label that says Made In China :D

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[–] spicytuna62 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My Maytag washing machine has a silly little "America 🇺🇸" sticker on it. It's so corny. It may have been assembled in the United States, but it's likely from parts made by Midea in China.

Auto manufacturers have been infamous for this in the past. It's probably why Monroney stickers tell you the percentage of parts by country of origin. Here it is on the sticker for my Honda Civic.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago

'land of the free' my ass, can't even put piss in the microwave

[–] NIB 22 points 3 days ago

Literally 1984.

[–] VinnyDaCat 2 points 2 days ago

Clearly they're just practicing their science, trying to pay homage to Hennig Brand.

[–] affiliate 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i feel like if they actually wanted to stop this they should just get a separate microwave dedicated to urine heating. if people are doing it to pass a drug test, and the alternative is possibly failing a drug test, then i’m not really sure a sign is going to stop them. better to have a sacrificial microwave.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

The USA flag really brings it all together

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

Don't tell me what to do

[–] bruhduh 11 points 3 days ago

It pisses me off

[–] billwashere 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

There’s a story here that I’m not sure I wanna know.

[–] normalexit 8 points 2 days ago

A person was probably heating up some pee on the way to cheat a drug test. They have little thermometer strips on the side, like what you see on a fish tank, to help verify the sample wasn't brought in or tampered with.

[–] Glitterbomb 2 points 2 days ago

My head cannon is that there's no such thing as a pee fetish, and the entire idea is propped up by the overwhelming sales of synthetic piss from sex shops in order to pass drug tests. Some porn studio marketing team noticed the sales and decided they should fill that niche, but all the viewers are just confused people watching out of shock value.

Basically the war on drugs inadvertently created a massive market where people piss and shit on eachother and think they like it.

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[–] theangryseal 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Someone got sick of cleaning the microwave. I would have put “feces”.

Won’t nobody microwave shit. Ahhhh. Ahahahaha. Hahaha!

You get me! I know you doodoo.

[–] devilish666 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

What in the goddamn fuck the peoples who microwaved URINE ? cmon it's waste from your body not food..smh...
1000006714

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds 10 points 3 days ago

Drug tests.

Buy store-bought urine or bring someone else's for the test. It's still gotta be body temp when you use it. So you nuke it for a few seconds before you tape it to your leg on your way in.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

"Relax, it's not even real piss."

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