this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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[–] FlyingSquid 109 points 5 days ago (3 children)

There is an actual reason for this: it's because people buy other people's urine for drug tests. That little bottle has to be warm when you hand it over. I'm guessing in this case, it's a high-crime area and people have to report to their probation officers.

Just shows what a farce the whole thing is.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Also, cold piss isn't nearly as thirst quenching

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

That is the joke, yes

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Why couldn't they just use their own body heat?

Also, I'm kind of impressed they figured out how to eat it just enough to get to body temperature in a random microwave.

[–] this_1_is_mine 18 points 5 days ago (2 children)

The body is only 85 + or so degrees on the surface of the skin. It's not warm enough as internal temp will be 95+degrees and will be obvious it's not warm enough when they check the temp.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Pro tip—stick on hand warmers and a stick on fish tank thermometer. If it’s a little too hot, just take the hand warmer off of it and wait 30 seconds until it cools to a delicious 98.6.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They'd have to check that pretty fast or it would cool off anyways but now I just feel bad for the people whose job it is to handle the piss thermometer.

[–] bcgm3 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

In my experience, it's like a temperature-sensitive sticker on the side of the cup, that'll indicate the maximum temperature of the contents. That way it also checks for people who accidentally over-heated their fake/borrowed piss.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Oh, that sounds way less disgusting (but still a shitty job)

[–] Hikermick 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A buddy of mine had this job, he's got some good stories. Using packets of hand warmers to keep it warm would work better

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Just store it in the balls like normal pee.

[–] dingus 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The awkward thing is I always tend to accidentally get piss on my hands and on the outside of the cup and then you have to hand it to the worker in shame after trying to clean it with the shitty 1 ply toilet paper and them telling you that you aren't allowed to wash your hands

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Not allowed to wash your hands??? That's insane, why?

[–] dingus 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

In drug tests, they want to make sure you aren't diluting the sample for drug testing lol. Very common practice when getting a new job. They let you wash your hands after they take the sample. It's just awkward and embarrassing with your piss hands in the interim lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

lol why dont they use their own? are they stupid????

[–] [email protected] 58 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I cant tell if you are privileged enough that you have a microwave in which to heat urine, or if you have urine clean enough to pass a drug test. Either way - I'm proud of you.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Plus, this gas station is likely very close to a PO. Heating up piss to smugle in from 20 minutes away won't likely work very well.

[–] FlyingSquid 20 points 5 days ago (3 children)

In order to have a microwave, you need to have money. Poor people tend to lack that. Especially poor people who are also drug addicted who just want to keep out of prison or keep their job.

[–] spicytuna62 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Not to mention when the court orders you to have regular drug testing done, you're on the hook for them. And they ain't exactly cheap, especially for someone making 10 bucks an hour part time.

[–] spankmonkey 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The whole legal system is designed to make non-wealthy people fail to rehabilitate.

[–] n0clue 4 points 5 days ago

Hey now, it's designed so wealthy people don't have to rehabilitate either, so that's fair right?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

You have to pay for the Tests yourself?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It’s one microwave, how much could it cost? 1000 dollars?

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It might as well cost $1000 if you are barely scraping by.

All this tells me is you've never been inside the home of a poor person, let alone a poor person who is also suffering from addiction. If they have a home at all.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] someguy3 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

This just tells me you've never been inside the house of a poor person. If you think they have a tv at all.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 days ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)
[–] someguy3 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)
[–] seven_phone 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I think oftentimes they find use of their own urine demeaning and so prefer to outsource.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 5 days ago (2 children)

you seem smarter than a squid

[–] seven_phone 7 points 5 days ago

A squid is able to get through a hole.