this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 258 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (12 children)

Guys, please dip your balls in soy sauce or whatever if you can't help yourself but I'm quite sure that it won't work. I know that this is the green text community but still:

*Receptors on different parts of the body do different things. The taste buds on your tongue respond to whether or not food is edible—and of course, provide taste—while the taste buds on your testicles instead send signals to your body about sperm and testosterone production.

And the scrotum does not have "taste buds,” to be clear. “It’s also important to note that the taste receptors are in your testicles," adds Justin Dubin, a current Urology Resident at the University of Miami and soon to be Northwestern University fellow specializing in male infertility and sexual medicine. "When you dip your balls in food or sauces, you’re actually only exposing your scrotum to the food ... which is the skin surrounding and protecting your testicles."

In addition to your scrotal skin, you have other layers of tissue that separate your testicles from the outside world, so it is safe to say putting food or any other item on your scrotum won't get you anywhere close to direct contact with the actual testicle.

“Even if you were able to somehow put food on your actual testicle, which I recommend never trying, the taste receptors would not allow you to taste anything as they simply do not function the same way they do in your mouth and you would not experience the sensation of taste,” Dubin adds.

You probably wouldn't want to experience taste from your testicles, anyway. If this were the case, as Brahmbhatt points out, you’d constantly "taste" the smell of your scrotum and testicles—even sperm. Yuck.

“Obviously this does not happen—further dispelling the myth that has been propagated,” he says.*

-Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, MC, urologic and robotic surgeon.

I am not sure whether this article was solely published in Men's Health but here's the article:

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a36751724/do-testicles-have-taste-buds/

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago

Half-truths are the most effective troll posts.

[–] psycho_driver 35 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You probably wouldn’t want to experience taste from your testicles, anyway. If this were the case, as Brahmbhatt points out, you’d constantly “taste” the smell of your scrotum and testicles—even sperm. Yuck.

Anon's mom told me that it's actually not so bad.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So the balls are constantly tasting cum? That's fucking gay, bro.

[–] dustyData 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's nothing gayer than being a man. You always have a dick in close proximity and the only way to get off is playing with that dick. That's super gay.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Is a robotic surgeon someone who operates on robots?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

No, it's just a surgeon who lacks personality and operates with cold detachment.

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[–] MutilationWave 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

https://academic.oup.com/molehr/article/19/6/349/1061673

^Basically says the same thing but in extreme detail.

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[–] EnderMB 157 points 2 months ago (3 children)

If you think that's mad, your balls can taste spice! You can test this yourself by pouring hot sauce all over your genitals.

[–] Snowclone 33 points 2 months ago

For uncut dudes, make sure you pull the foreskin all the way back. You gotta hit that mucus membrane with some capsaicin.

[–] SirHery 30 points 2 months ago
[–] bhamlin 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is that why bengay tastes like balls?

[–] Death_Equity 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No, his balls just tasted like bengay and you developed a learned association.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Alright, I just dipped my balls in a bowl of cordial, so you don't have to.

My sack didn't detect any sweetness, but I'm sure if someone sucked on them, then they would.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't leave us hanging OP, get down there.

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[–] Cypher 74 points 2 months ago (3 children)

The fact I have never tasted the dreaded bowl splash dispels this myth.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Maybe your toilet water is not sweet enough

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Poseidon's Kiss, a sneaky surprise for the carefree pooper

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[–] dohpaz42 59 points 2 months ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Jfc I thought everyone was just shitposting here but this is a real what the fuck moment

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[–] Dasus 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm sitting here with explosive diarrhoea and this would be somewhat worse if my balls could taste.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You realize you're supposed to take your underwear off before using the toilet, right?

[–] Dasus 22 points 2 months ago (19 children)

I do, yes. Did you miss the "explosive" part?

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[–] j4k3 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] TheIvoryTower 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It might have just been chance, you better replicate it to check.

[–] j4k3 21 points 2 months ago

Don't get cocktea on me. I done made scrotonade.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Prehistoric dangling diabetes detectors

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MojoMcJojo 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Actually I read it but I just didn't understand.

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[–] Restaldt 40 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why else would it be called teabagging?

Thats how you're supposed to check if your tea has been sweetened properly before consumption

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of that South Park episode where Cartman proves you can eat from your ass and shit from your mouth.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

So that's why everything tastes like dick all the time...

[–] TastyWheat 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

1980: in the future, we'll have flying cars! 2024: Stop dipping your balls in soy sauce you fucking idiots

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago

Someone please call the science memes community! Misinformation is winning against me!!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

The treat that's salty and sweet!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

The testis taste test.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Sounds like a load of bollocks to me

[–] BeatTakeshi 8 points 2 months ago

My honeymoon could have gotten quite a twist

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Teabag on teabag anyone?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Uhhh I have never heard of this but I might test it...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Brb, finding a cup of nacho cheese dip

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