this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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That's it. Any horse, any time period, any peoples, did they fit a shoe that helped the horse to swim in water?

(Was thinking about how horses are pretty good swimmers, maybe due to their power and hoof shape. Could they be better?)

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[–] SpaceNoodle 141 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Oh, I thought this was going to be about refurbishing and reselling horses.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My expectation was that one might rotate an equine on an axis other than yaw.

[–] themeatbridge 4 points 1 month ago

Like drink the beer, and then flip the horse.

[–] MushuChupacabra 17 points 1 month ago

I'm going to use this as a confusion-inducing insult:

Yeah whatever, horse flipper.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

'It's got solid bones, but the inside's a mess'

[–] Anti_Iridium 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

'We're gonna have to gut it'

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Side-eyeing-Chloe.jpg

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I'd watch that show

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

So I read it and thought oh I read that wrong what the hell is a horse-flipper how would you do that?

Then I read the rest of the question and was like oh wow I was right the first time but also still wrong because I thought they meant the verb instead of the noun.

[–] saltesc 3 points 1 month ago

I thought it was for people that flip off horses for no reason, they just don't like 'em.

[–] The_v 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Well...spit... growing up on the ranch we had between 13 to 18 horses around all the time. Everything from Arabians to some workhorses.

Now we only shoed them in late summer for the fall when we were working cattle.

Now swimming is an interesting topic. During the hot days in the summer we would hop on a few hoses bareback and race across in the ponds.

You would think the massive workhorses with their oversized hooves would win. Poweful, strong animals with big flippers on the bottom. Unfortunately they were the slowest in the water. They were stiff and inflexible, dumb and slow. They tended to swim a few feet, decide it was too much work, turn around and find some nice grass to eat.

Now the Arabians with the smaller stature and dainty little hooves were by far the fastest in the water. The fastest was horse named ugly. He was a swayed back ill tempered little guy with a massive chip on his shoulder. He just had to be first everywhere. He was almost as vicious as the Spawn of Satan aka "Shetland pony". Now Spawn of Satan didn't like the water because brimstone and water don't go together so we never got him to swim.

What's curious is after they were shod and their hoofs trimmed down, they all seemed a wee bit faster. I guess the smaller hoof works better for their swimming mechanism.

[–] ace_garp 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Edit: Turns out, the above farm-life comment is a fabricated fantasy tale.

+++=======//=======+++

Thanks for sharing your lived experience. Your characterisations of each horse gave me a good laugh.

That is very interesting that they would be quicker after being shod. Not sure why that would be. Less apprehensive of kicking something underwater perhaps.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know what accent you intended to communicate, but I definitely heard it in my head

[–] ivanafterall 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought he was a fraud until he spit.

[–] themeatbridge 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That was the first thing he did. You might have trust issues.

[–] ivanafterall 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That "Well..." just didn't ring true.

[–] The_v 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

LMAO. I did have some fun making this one up. Like any good but fiction it's a mixture of facts and fabrications to make it believable.

Well...spit... growing up on the ranch we had between 13 to 18 horses around all the time. Everything from Arabians to some workhorses.

100% true. I even sent a nice loogie to get into character.

Now we only shoed them in late summer for the fall when we were working cattle.

Partially true - we shoed them in late summer as it was our pack train for guided hunts etc. we only used the 3 quarter horses to work cattle with. Those we kept shoed year round.

Now swimming is an interesting topic. During the hot days in the summer we would hop on a few hoses bareback and race across in the ponds.

Fabrication. The ponds were all spring fed and came out of the ground at 40F. The ponds held a 50F temperature all summer. Nobody swam in them other than a few dares. We did stock them with trout.

You would think the massive workhorses with their oversized hooves would win. Poweful, strong animals with big flippers on the bottom. Unfortunately they were the slowest in the water. They were stiff and inflexible, dumb and slow. They tended to swim a few feet, decide it was too much work, turn around and find some nice grass to eat.

This is one of my better fabrications. I used the personality of the Belgium's we had. They were slow and powerful and always eating. However I never once saw them swim. We used them for trail clearing and pack horses in the woods.

Now the Arabians with the smaller stature and dainty little hooves were by far the fastest in the water. The fastest was horse named ugly. He was a swayed back ill tempered little guy with a massive chip on his shoulder. He just had to be first everywhere. He was almost as vicious as the Spawn of Satan aka "Shetland pony". Now Spawn of Satan didn't like the water because brimstone and water don't go together so we never got him to swim.

Mix of fabrication and truth. Ugly was an smaller appaloosa whose name started out as chief. So we called him Chief Ugly then just Ugly. The Spawn of Satan was really called "Cookie" but if you know anything ponies the Spawn of Satan is more apt.

What's curious is after they were shod and their hoofs trimmed down, they all seemed a wee bit faster. I guess the smaller hoof works better for their swimming mechanism.

Total bullshit. I have no idea what makes a horse swim faster or not.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I 100% expected this to turn into a Hell in the Cell meme

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[–] TheTechnician27 39 points 1 month ago (8 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind 15 points 1 month ago

God dammit.....I gave you a good faith upvote, and then clicked the video for what I assumed would be an amazing horse swimming video.

..........dammit Rick Astley! Stop dressing up like a unicorn!

[–] cm0002 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, there is now a banana in my ear.

...I miss old youtube.

[–] TheTechnician27 6 points 1 month ago

You are the bo-nana king.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

He doesn't need flippers if he rides the magical leopluridon.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Goddammit you got my hopes up

[–] ace_garp 3 points 1 month ago

Hehe, thanks Charlie.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

This gave me some serious flashbacks but I've no idea when or why I would have watched it

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

seahorse intensifies

[–] ta_leadran_orm 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Flippers wouldn't help really given how horses actually swim, they kind of kick back with each of they're legs in a sequence similar to a trot. Their hooves already have a bit of a hollow which likely helps with swimming. Honestly though horses are pretty good swimmers, because they have huge lungs which helps them stay afloat with ease

[–] ace_garp 8 points 1 month ago

Regular flippers would not help.

But some little hinged wings on the sides of each hoof could work.

They fold down on the upstroke flat against the hoof, then fold out horizontal with the downstroke.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I could never imagine a horse swimming

[–] Dasus 5 points 1 month ago

Luckily with the magic of the internet, your imagination need not be an issue.

You can just see them!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4mZ6CAz0aI

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Incredible. I have no idea, but I love this post. Keep it up.

[–] ace_garp 3 points 1 month ago

Thanks, when showerthoughts take on a life of their own.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Me, wondering how much money you can make buying horses on the low and reselling them with a fresh coat of paint: 🤡

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Same! First thought the title was a typo!

[–] Maalus 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can make some hay doing that

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[–] ownsauce 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Give em some of these withe the neck rest. Imagine amphibious roman chariots. Or a horse powered pontoon boat.

There's a lot of cool images here https://liberalarts.tamu.edu/nautarch/nwl/lake-champlain-projects/hoofbeats-over-the-water-ina-research-on-horse-powered-ferryboats/

[–] ace_garp 4 points 1 month ago

They are cool images, what a concept!

I did not previously know that horse-treadmill-ferries were a thing.

[–] thesporkeffect 12 points 1 month ago

This is the exact question this subredd- er, community, excuse me, was made for

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think you’d have better luck with a small, rear-mounted outboard motor.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Thanks for the incredibly funny mental picture!

[–] Hobbes_Dent 7 points 1 month ago

Wait tho. That two-legged rear kick thing horses do may just need a uni-fin mermaid thing to create a true sea speed stallion.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

In historic times, people knew horses were land animals. So, I expect we will see this invention in about two more weeks.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm doubtful that giving a horse flippers would even help them swim considering how long their legs are.

[–] SzethFriendOfNimi 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

And the movement they make doesn’t benefit from flippers.

Humans can shift their body forward and kick their legs which flippers can amplify.

[–] TheHotze 6 points 1 month ago

I was trying to figure out what they meant by swimming houses for a minute.

[–] TropicalDingdong 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think my neighbor has a horse? I guess I could ask.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] essell 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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