No contest, just look at these guys
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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Asklemmy
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Though I just realised I'm a walking stereotype
Lol lemon bars and cuffed jeans. Those last two feel like they're targeting someone specific.
I hecking love frogs so much. I wish i wasn't scared of them. Well not really scared, but everything that can jump away in a millisecond kinda spooks me.
Cat
I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't promote the superb Owl!
Stealth
Great Eye Sight
Many have 3D hearing to "see" under leaves or snow
Near silent flight
Can rotate their head 270 degrees
Tremendously strong grip strength
Beautiful and effective camo for any environment
Have settled almost everywhere on Earth but Antarctica (so far!)
Great facial expressions
Diverse vocalizations
They can control positioning of individual feathers to either thermoregulate or to change the focus of their hearing.
Their eyes dilate individually to maintain peak vision when one eye is in a shadow, but the other in the sun.
Have a third eyelid to protect those special peepers while fighting, eating, or from dryness and abrasion in flight.
And I'm sure I forgot a few things, but that's a good start to the amazing world of owls!
Hey, what the fuck.
This was my profile picture before you posted it.
The hippo is the true king of beasts! So cute and plump, yet so deadly and fiercely protective. Also much faster than you would ever believe something that big can run on land, yet is almost stealth in the water until you've angered it. It also has one of the most powerful bites and skin 2 inches/ 6 cm thick.
I've become the go-to owl person of Lemmy, but I'm a long time hippo fan.
Cheetahs have always been my favorite. It's not that they're the fastest land animal that fascinates me, but how. Dogs are so funny to watch run because they're so goofy, but even the fastest dogs get going maybe 40 miles an hour. They spend a lot of time off the ground in their stride. And if you're not in contact with the ground, you're slowing down. Cheetahs keep their strides very low to the ground and spend little time in the air. Additionally, their long, muscular, flexible spine allows them to treat it kind of like a leaf spring. And the long tails are gorgeous.
And if that wasn't enough, they meow and purr, too.
Goats. Can be potty trained, learn tricks, give milk and you can cuddle them.
The way they climb and headbutt everything is adorable. I love goats. They also have good hair for clothes. Mohair and cashmere is goat hair.
Edit: The fact that goats are incredible climbers has always been so funny to me. They definitely do not look like they can climb anything.
Lmao totally! Rock climbing goats, tree climbing goats, goats that live in cliffsβ¦
A cat in a tree? Sure. A bear? Totally. Got claws. A goat?
Ankylosaurus. Extinct, but still. It's like what you'd get if you shoved a turtle, a rhino, and a dragon into that teleporter from The Fly .
Wolverine. They are like a giant mean badger (!!!).
Half wolf half nectarine.
Tungsten. It's just so cool that it's so dense and has such a high melting point. It's also really hard and tough.
Edit: also dragonflies are pretty badass
Octopus are pretty cool.
The animal with the most correct plural forms on earth!
Octopuses, octopi, octopodes, octopus.
Vastly superior to that lowly beast that doesn't even have a plural form, the moose.
You leave the poor meeses alone!
I will as soon as gooses stop invading the lower 48.
Meese are the armored division of the Canadian invasion. The gooses and meese are a menace
Okapi. Theyβre unusual and they look cool.
And they don't cause any problems!
Raccoons.
The nest of blue tits we have every year. Some of them keep hanging around and we feed them on the balcony. My wife works from home and it is nice to watch them play and eat. We also have woodpeckers every year. I love birds.
Elephants!!! They have a beautiful family structure that looks out for one another. They grieve for their dead. Genuinely able to feel and relay emotions through actions and vocal intonations. Their trunk is such a neat and unique appendage. Generally are gentle giants as long as they aren't being threatened.
I'm biased, I just sorta... Like all animals. All of them. So this reply is just my mood for today:
Mammal: Raccoon. The grabby hands, the masks, they're just cool little guys
Bird: Crows. Clever and playful caw caw boys. Capable of incredible feats of animal intelligence.
Reptile: Tegu. The cats of the lizard world.
Amphibian: Poison dart frogs. Danger bois. Don't touch. But they look so cool.
Fish: fish are not valid
Crustacean: Coconut crabs! They are big and cool.
Insect: Ants. Eusocial insects are really cool.
Mollusk: those really big snails that look like slime bunnies
Worm: Leeches. They're cool to look at.
Arachnid: Jumping spider. They are smols.
I saw a video on youtube about an ant supercolony maybe 20 years ago now and ants have been super fascinating ever since. They farm fungi! They ranch aphids! They have designated trash dumps! They go to war and take slaves! They build ventilation chimneys (whatever they're called) so air can move around in the colony tunnels!
Ducks. Masters of land, air, and water. Good ol' duck, nothing beats that
Duck is the avatar, master of all 3 elements
I choose the bear
There are many animals that are pretty cool; beavers, iguanas, capybaras, kangaroos, crows etc. I find it really hard to pick a favourite.
I'd really like to have a pet iguana one day, though.
Quokka and Capybara, hands down.
Capybara
Cats, axolotls, and dolphins.
Cats because, why not? They're adorable and so funny too!
Axolotls are adorable too. Tell me that doesn't look like a Pokemon!
Dolphins because they're super smart. They have been seen using tools!
Bunnies!
Cats. Big and small. They're just too awesome to need explaining.
The thing with this is animals that can be pets are realistically going to be at the top and maybe tasty ones. I mean if you talking if only two animals only existed on the planet or something. But if you take that out. mmmm I mean I think about the air and the ocean and all the experience they hold. Bats are so beneficial but that feels a bit like the pet and food thing. Utilitarian. If its cool factor. Maybe dolphin and osprey.
As a fox/hyena therian, it's foxes and hyenas. Shocker, I know. I identify with their behaviour, which is a whole thing that's too hard to put into words--they're just so me.
Red fox is the prettiest wild animal for me.
Overall? Dogs.
They're the most perfect animal for companions. They've evolved and been bred to work with us, read us, and be as close to part of human life as possible. Nothing else on this planet is as in sync with us, to the degree that you have to go out of your way to make a dog hate you. Anyone wanting to whine about why they don't like dogs, or be snide, expect to be ridiculed and insulted. Just a warning.
But that's not the answer you likely want.
Tigers. Tigers are majestic as fuck. Beautiful, interesting, alien, massive animals. They're what you would expect to see in the dictionary beside "predator".
You ever play any of those games where a bunch of idiots are sitting around asking increasingly dumb "what if" questions until someone passes out? One that always seems to come up is "what animal would you fuck if you had to?"
My answer is always "tigers". And it's plural. Why plural? Because once you do it once and survive, why would you stop?
Why tigers? Tigers are majestic as fuck. Beautiful, interesting, alien, massive animals. They're what you would expect to see in the dictionary beside "predator".
We have a tautology here.
I'm also absurdly fond of chickens now.
I do not, and would not, fuck a chicken.
However, they are endlessly entertaining, and you can eat some of the things that come out of them. That alone is worth some affection.
But then they make noises. Trills and bawks and growls and clucks and little content beak clacks while they nestle into your side as they get ready to nap
They will also rip food not only from your hands, but your mouth if you aren't careful.
They are dinosaurs you can give offerings to. And you must bring offerings to our dino-chicken overlords, lest they deem you unworthy. Biscuits are preferred, but they will accept almost anything until they find a favorite. Once they find a favorite, you will be scolded if you offer anything else. They will still eat the less preferred offerings, but they will do it with contempt.
Also, no touch. No touch, only look. Touch gets pecks. No touch, only biscuits.
Chickens are apex predators too small to be the apex of anything but a yard. But within that yard, they are as gods!
Unless you have a weedeater, in which case, they will wait in the shrubbery, thank you very much. Weedeaters are straight out.
Absolutely deadly and beautiful creatures, chickens.