Ask Lemmy

Fast lane is for passing only

• Loading dishwashers properly requires an official government license and a test.
• Putting a flat plate in front of a bowl means a year of hard labor.
• Loading any of the good kitchen knives is an automatic 10 years.

If your toaster can't fit a slice of Warburton' Toastie comfortably, then the CEO of the toaster company gets toasted to death at the stake.

If you are selling three sizes of something, the sizes are called "small", "medium" and "large".

You have to put the highest scoville rated ingredient on your hot food stall.

I do not want to be surprised in either direction.

If you do any industrial processing step which creates something harmful for the environment, your company is responsible for undoing that step after nobody wants the result any more.

This creates an incentive to recycle and build stuff to be able to deconstruct it's components. Less stuff in the landfills and more raw materials for recycling.

Let the consumer bear the cost by paying the real price of a product and not mother nature.

Motorcycles have a maximum volume

Alternatively 13 months of 28 days

If a food package is not resealable, the nutritional information must state how many calories are in the entire package.

Packaging should be made to be reusable. Glass jars must have easily removable labels, plastic wrap would only be allowed for sterile equipment, otherwise you have to use paper and other biodegradable materials. Branding would have to be completely removable too. Basically, packaging would remain a product of the state, and would be completely controlled. Corporations would have to pay packaging tax to subsidize control of this.

under my brutal dictatorship, laptop power buttons may not be a key on the keyboard. It must be a separate button elsewhere on the chassis.

Anyone who lets their dog bark outside for 10+ continuous minutes (except in case of emergency) loses dog privileges for a year. One year added for every five minutes over 10.

ShotSpotter installs can be repurposed to locate homes of negligent owners who are annoying the entire neighborhood by letting their dogs bark unmitigated.

Expand allergy warning labels on products. Mammal product allergy exists, it's called alpha-gal syndrome - one of the issues that can arise from a tick bite. I would like to see allergy labels for beef, pork, gelatin, and carrageenan alongside the ones for milk, wheat, nuts, etc.

No more daylight saving clock change. If I want to get up an hour earlier, I'll set my alarm to do so.

1. All microwaves must have an option to silence them.
2. Public restroom doors are no longer allowed to have gaps in them.

Companies can not own other companies.

Stickers put on products by manufacturers or retailers must either be on the product packaging or be made with the material that leaves no residue behind when peeled off.

When buying toilets, people should be able to test the flush in the shop

Good rules!

Bottom right = standing or lying? Tag should be on flat also and must tell the bed size.

I think my butters are opposite colors.

New "No Ads" holiday. No ads on TV or the entire internet for one day, physical billboards can stay, digital billboards must be turned off, essentially all form of digital advertisement is disallowed. If a company breaks those rules, it is fined 50% of its average annual revenue.

Replace "in god we trust" on money with Satan.

All shoe and clothing companies must use universal measurements and sizes

Bumper height of vehicles.

Glassware must be rated to survive short drop onto wood floor at a minimum.

(The fitted sheets we have do have tags for top and bottom with hanging tag at bottom. I would say just don't give them hanging tags at all.)