this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
620 points (95.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27184 readers
5107 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ivanafterall 61 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Stop pretending like you don't fart when you pee, there's no shame in it. That's typically the time to moan, if you're going to do it.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

All while you’re looking your urinal neighbor straight in the eye.

[–] Mercury 7 points 3 months ago

Relevant username

[–] stoicmaverick 49 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Do it again, but include sneezing this time.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, your body takes a screenshot.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

But there's a small chance of it making a printout on your underpants.

[–] wabafee 8 points 3 months ago

Core memory

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Then add cumming

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Personally, I'd find it very concerning if I went to piss and farts started coming out instead.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you hold farts in till you go to the restroom, its a natural time they'll come out as you relax while peeing.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (3 children)

But farts aren't supposed to come out of your pee hole.

...Right?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Urethrarts are dangerous, consult a doctor

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 6 points 3 months ago

What am I supposed to say, "Doctor, I pee carbonated."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What does pee holes have to do with it. It's just about relaxing the muscles in the area that were holding the farts and pee so the farts come out too.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PineRune 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Wouldn't the fart bubbles make the pee go everywhere? Like air bubbles in a garden hose when you first turn it on.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

No the farts actually assist with urine release from the urethra. It's healthy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Iirc that's called a Fistula.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

checks community

Yep, we're in the right place, boys.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Where is the case where I'm being efficient and do everything in 1 go?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

That is the entire second row about

[–] Venat0r 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

This man's parts send his sharts off the charts

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

What like brushing your teeth or showering?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Reading this was very confusing until i realized some people don't sit down to piss.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Lime66 20 points 3 months ago (3 children)

So pissing while farting sucks but farting while pissing is OK?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Do you drop trou and stand in front of a toilet every time you need to toot the flesh whistle?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah the top one is accidental so if you're farting you're probably still wearing your pants

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I always put down my pants when I fart.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Farting in the office must be doubly awkward.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 4 points 3 months ago

and aim at the ceiling. we call that room "pollock's corner"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Same for shitting/pissing.

[–] robocall 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] needthosepylons 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Ah yes, I often shit while I shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Agent641 3 points 3 months ago

Sometimes you think youre done and as you go to wipe, guts are like "but wait, theres more!"

[–] Sam_Bass 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 5 points 3 months ago

That's a matter of opinion.

[–] Bruncvik 13 points 3 months ago

The picture doesn't do justice to the evil that is sharting. Especially in the middle of a long run.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I honestly think I’d rather shit myself while farting than piss myself. If you shit yourself you can hide it and clean up. If you piss yourself everyone can see.

[–] ajoebyanyothername 34 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I feel like you're overestimating your ability to subtly shit yourself.

[–] wreckedcarzz 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And the smell. And the potential liquid.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Yeah, sharts aren't exactly known for being a solid log.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Nobody shits themselves with a solid.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 9 points 3 months ago

I haven't stopped shitting for the last... checks watch twenty two years. Any combo is nice. The triple is a beaut

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Center bottom is all wrong. Should be this:

[–] BilboBargains 4 points 3 months ago

Shitting turns out to be the most hazardous activity of the trifecta.

load more comments
view more: next ›