this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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[–] grue 89 points 4 months ago (8 children)

Why are abolishing slavery and establishing the Federal Reserve being treated as if they're equivalently bad when they are very much not? This meme is subtly pushing a gold bug/crypto bro agenda.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (1 children)

yeah I found that a wierd combo. did he also act to try to get universal healthcare?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He's mostly just been eating lettuce

[–] troglodytis 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

What an ass

[–] danc4498 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Cause Libertarians gonna libertary?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

I also enjoy spreading libertarian propaganda

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

Aww, lay off Jonathan. He's a pioneer for gay rights, which is much more than can be said for any of you lot.

Due to his advanced age, Jonathan spends his days doing almost everything with his mate, including eating, sleeping and mating... The sex of Frederica, ... his companion since 1991, was cast into doubt in 2017 when island veterinarian Catherine Man indicated that due to a deformity of its plastron its sex could not be verified,[4] and is now known to be male, being renamed Frederik.

[–] Viking_Hippie 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

renamed Frederik.

So they didn't just reassess the gender, but also repatriated him by naming him after the king (then crown prince) of Denmark

[–] ivanafterall 8 points 4 months ago

Typical colonialist Jonathan bullshit.

[–] jaybone 7 points 4 months ago

My Plastron also got deformed when I had a GI Joe guy use a hair spray bottle as a blowtorch.

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[–] JohnBrownII 46 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The 13th Amendment did not abolish slavery. It made it a punishment for a crime

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Slavery is still the best way to make money if you own slaves. Elon Musk knows this.

[–] atocci 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like Jonathan still has a chance to redeem himself then

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I mean, Big J IS a tortoise. I'm pretty sure he's been working on social justice, but you know, it's going kinda slowly.

[–] ivanafterall 6 points 4 months ago

Of course he only cares about soshell issues. Typical self-serving reptile politician.

[–] ivanafterall 2 points 4 months ago

Why do you assume Jonathan isn't the reason the 13th amendment doesn't abolish slavery?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

No, it abolished slavery with an exception carved out for punishment for crime.

The difference is important. Saying it was "made a punishment" suggests that before the amendment that option didn't exist. It did. The 13th amendment just clarified that that use was allowed to continue.

But, it's also worth noting that in the late 1700s and early 1800s imprisonment was uncommon, and a lot of crimes just carried the death penalty. In England, pickpocketing more than the modern equivalent of about $40 could result in a death penalty. Same with cutting down trees, or stealing from a rabbit warren. For less serious crimes there were the stocks, whipping, and fines. England had an option that wasn't available to the US: transportation. Australia was originally a penal colony, and the people sent there were forced to labour until their sentences were up.

Prisons (along with their work programs) were seen as a new, progressive idea that could potentially reform a prisoner, rather than just killing / punishing them.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 4 months ago (1 children)

wikipedia:

"His age is estimated because he was "fully mature" when brought to Saint Helena in 1882. "Fully mature" means at least 50 years old, giving him a hatching date no later than 1832.[8] A photograph featuring Jonathan originally thought to date from 1902 actually dates from 1886,[2] showing Jonathan four years after his arrival on Saint Helena. Measurements taken from the photograph show that he was fully mature in 1886.[citation needed]"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well you did in fact check the facts.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

In December 2015, the St Helena vet Joe Hollins said that Jonathan was "alive and well [...] He's blind from cataracts, has lost his sense of smell, and so cannot detect food (his fellow giants mug him and can detect the tiniest morsel dropped on the ground), but he has retained excellent hearing."[1]

[–] Viking_Hippie 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I think "well" is a bit of an overstatement tbh..

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I think it's more of a "he's alive, and, well..." situation

[–] Viking_Hippie 3 points 4 months ago

Good point! Now let's eat Grandma!

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He did nothing that we know of.

[–] Zachariah 28 points 4 months ago

Slow and steady wins the race.

[–] taiyang 20 points 4 months ago

Oh no, it's only a matter of time before he runs for president.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Racist-ass, capitalist turtle.

[–] doingthestuff 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He benefits from the labor of the working of the working class

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Naw. He just enjoys lettuce and is chill.

[–] JusticeForPorygon 15 points 4 months ago

Johnathan shot President Garfield

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

He’s getting around to it; be patient

[–] drunkpostdisaster 13 points 4 months ago

I thought about all the historic events this turtle witnessed and then I remembered he is a turtle

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I take it you've never gotten in an argument with a libertarian?

Imagine a libertarian in economics school. Yikes.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 10 points 4 months ago

When I was in economics school we would go to the libertarian convention for shits and giggles. We were told by our professors explicitly not to heckle, just to giggle and treat it like a wildlife expedition. They were fun evenings.

[–] Telodzrum 3 points 4 months ago

Austrian School isn’t horribly far off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

For this study, we asked the subjects to trade tokens. And now you can buy those tokens!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Here's me at 193 years old

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

That's not true. He did try to abolish slavery and stop the creation of the reserve, but tortoises move a little slower than humans do, and he just didn't get there in time. But not for lack of trying.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Don't tell the republicans, they might nominate him for president..

[–] some_designer_dude 3 points 4 months ago

Jonathan would draw yuge crowds.

[–] creditCrazy 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Even this random as tortoise is older than the Confederacy

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Well the Confederacy barely made it to 4 years old. Which explains why conservatives are creepily obsessed with it.

[–] random_character_a 5 points 4 months ago

...and will die 29 years after second civil war or what will be better known as failed MAGA uprising of the the mad orange king.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

#CancelJonathanTheTortoise

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Turtles are born?

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