this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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Clever Comebacks

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Posts of clever comebacks in response to someone.

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[–] Etterra 99 points 4 months ago (6 children)

As an American I can tell you that it's better to just beat that dead dog. Well, horse really. Elephant. It's definitely an elephant. Now get out your flail and go to town at that bitch. And continue the beatings until the problem is resolved.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Elephant. It’s definitely an elephant

More like a blue whale, really.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Thought they were joking about Republicans

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I thought it was a joke about the size of the problem.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It was a definitely a joke about the elephant in the room

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Now get out your flail and go to town at that bitch.

Kinky

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Serious question: If the american health care system (which may be the most prominent thing stopping migration currently) would become a socialized-financed commodity how much %GDP would America loose?

[–] Schmuppes 21 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Probably none, because the people wouldn't go bankrupt because of a broken leg and be able to spend the money and be able to keep spending money on something worthwhile instead. Breaking people's necks financially by means of medical bills is not a great thing in the long run for the economy.

[–] blackbirdbiryani 18 points 4 months ago

America spends the most on healthcare already, it's ludicrous

[–] Jiggle_Physics 11 points 4 months ago

The current healthcare is a net loss for the country. The only people losing money would be private medical industry, and its share holders, but it wouldn't off set the losses caused by the crushing expenses, and bankruptcies as far as the general GDP is concerned.

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[–] suction 37 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

That’s why I don’t travel to the US even though I’ve only been to Hawaii so far. Food is a huge problem, either you poison your body with chemicals or you’ll have the most stressful time of the day eating because of the waiter nagging you every two minutes if you like your food or want anything. Because they think that constitutes “good service”. No other country’s restaurant culture is like this, wtf??

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Give

Me

More

Drink

Refills

Or I'll watch your children starve.

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[–] dejected_warp_core 7 points 4 months ago

either you poison your body with chemicals

One huge reason why I'm considering getting out. My immune system is very angry because of this.

nagging you every two minutes

I make no apologies for anyone on this: we lost our way. My best guess is that at some point, we had this down pat by bringing a "touch of class" to dining establishments through emulating servant culture of the early 1900's. This is well portrayed in costume drama as near-psychic level ability to anticipate the diner's (master's) needs in a well-choreographed experience. That only works if you can anticipate people through a long-term working relationship, or diners have very well-rehearsed table manners. I think it got corrupted over time as a lot of this fell out fashion, and what we're left with is diners that are wholly unpredictable and wait staff that have no idea what they're emulating.

Local Korean restaurants around town brought their dining culture with them, and it's loads better. Wait staff have their head on a swivel from the waiter's station, but only engage when flagged down. This is immeasurably more pleasant.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 5 points 4 months ago

Would you like another glass of ice cubes?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Don't forget mass shootings!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Part of a healthy USA education

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

If you survive elementary school.

[–] pyre 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

why not, they forget mass shootings immediately after they happen.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Not really clever. And as this is posted in a .UK, I’d like to remind you all that the UK isn’t doing too well, and they’re the laughing stock of the EU.

Enjoy Brexit!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

As as EU citizen I have zero interest in moving to the UK.

But I would still much much rather live in the UK than the US.
That country is straight up fucked on a fundemental level.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Well, it’s because of the fundies. ;)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Bit mean considering you are our guest. You may as well just throw in a jab at our teeth.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Modern medical advancements take time to come to former world powers. You’ll get there some day!! ;)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Ouch! 4th degree burns.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (10 children)

The murder rate in the USA is very high compared to its peers, at 6.383 per 100,000. Canada, for example, has a rate which is almost three times lower at 2.273 per 100,000.

Brazil has a murder rate of 20.606 per 100,000. I think I'll stick with our tipping culture and lack of public health system.

[–] SpaceNoodle 14 points 4 months ago

Or maybe check out Canada instead

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Thank goodness this was downvoted! It’s so offensive. Or something. 🙄

Why so high here vs. Canadia?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

That's an interesting question. People like to blame guns, but

The United States’ homicide rate of 3.8 is clearly higher than that of eg France (1.0), Germany (0.8), Australia (1.1), or Canada (1.4). However, as per the FBI, only 11,208 of our 16,121 murders were committed with firearms, eg 69%. By my calculations, that means our nonfirearm murder rate is 1.2. In other words, our non-firearm homicide rate alone is higher than France, Germany, and Australia’s total homicide rate.

That's from here, which is an interesting but long discussion of the topic:

https://slatestarcodex.com/2016/01/06/guns-and-states/

https://slatestarcodex.com/2016/01/10/guns-and-states-2-son-of-a-gun/

Edit: I'm not saying guns aren't part of the explanation, but they don't appear to account for the majority of the difference.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Ah, SSC. I was going to make a joke about how it'll get blamed on ~~black people~~ Human Biodiversity, but Scott actually does

And this is murder rate by state correlated with percent black population:

This would seem to support the “culture of violence” theory.

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[–] Rookwood 7 points 4 months ago

Pretty sure Brazilian GINI is higher than US even. Not a good comparison. But most of Europe is better than us, we rank with the former Soviet Slavic countries in terms of HDI when adjusted for GINI. Canada as you mentioned, probably Australia.

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[–] Anticorp 16 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Tipping everywhere didn't pop up until square cash started dominating the POS terminal market, and leaving tipping on by default. People being the huge pushovers that they are and tipping everywhere instead of rejecting it is what allowed it to stay. It'll happen in your country too.

[–] Sylvartas 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Good luck trying that shit in France. I think the fact that the actual word we use literally means "for drinks" (pourboire) hammers home the fact that this is extra money you are giving a "service" employee because you like them, and not because their employer is not paying them enough

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Might be more of a cultural difference than just the word, because we use the same word in Québec and unfortunately we have a very similar tipping system to the US. We even have different wages for employees that are considered doing a tipping job (salaire au pourboire), just like the US.

And more and more, it's unfortunately common to go in a place where tipping was not expected, and now they are showing tipping options on the terminal, or they leave little jars in front of the cash register.

I went in France a few months ago and it was so refreshing not to have to bother with this BS.

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[–] psycho_driver 16 points 4 months ago

I know a chick who moved here from Brazil when she was 18 or 19. She moved away a couple of years ago at 35 and is a lot happier for doing so.

[–] Dagnet 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Sadly that stupid shit with tipping is coming to brazil slowly, most restaurants in my city ask for 12% or 15% tip. Still optional ofc.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Optional in the US too. No friends nor employees will judge you for 0%?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Some of them absolutely will judge you, remember you, and make sure you get worse service the next time you eat there.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Do Brazilians have worker's rights?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's ok I wouldn't move to Brazil either

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

angry noises over barbeque, cheesebread, good coffee, carnaval and violent crimes

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