this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2024
425 points (96.9% liked)

Not The Onion

12537 readers
1888 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] DxK 153 points 5 months ago (15 children)

The man is the tackiest person in history.

[–] Viking_Hippie 8 points 5 months ago

Absolutely!

load more comments (14 replies)
[–] xantoxis 77 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Saw the headline: "Haha, theonion really nailed this one"

What's the inverse of eating the onion?

[–] Lost_My_Mind 42 points 5 months ago
[–] surewhynotlem 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] ChapulinColorado 7 points 5 months ago

Shitty Supreme Court candidates made sure I know the existence of boofing…

[–] ArbiterXero 21 points 5 months ago (6 children)

I don’t know, but it tastes like shit.

It’s getting SO HARD to separate reality from satire.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] aeronmelon 3 points 5 months ago

Eat the onion long enough, and the onion eats you back.

[–] Mango 3 points 5 months ago

The topic of this sub.

[–] Tyfud 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 55 points 5 months ago

I want off mr. bones wild ride.

[–] EvacuateSoul 50 points 5 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah they’re out of the shoes, too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago
[–] jumjummy 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That’s $1.5M. Eternal grifting.

I love the disclaimer of “The images shown are for illustration purposes only….” Meaning the final product will probably look 1000x worse.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

When I try to think of things that would sell out quickly, clown shoes were not on my list but here we are.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

dont tell me those are the actual shoes.

holy shit. i dont have any deference for the us-flag whatsoever, but if someone showed me these shoes and a video of somebody pissing on the flag, i would be hard-pressed to say which is less respectful of the flag

[–] Kerred 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Limit 3 pairs instead of Limit 1 pair sounds odd to me. As if it's intended to be scalped.

[–] _stranger_ 6 points 5 months ago

One to wear, one to seal away in the vault, and one to resell immediately.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 5 months ago (3 children)

That explains why it took Trump so long to reach out to the deceased's family to offer his condolences, he was too busy brainstorming ways to cash out on the tragedy?! Disgusting!

[–] DandomRude 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And still all he came up with was the same ol' shoe scam all over again.

[–] Aceticon 4 points 5 months ago

Should've gone with the Holy Bullet-deviating Bible, IMHO.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

He will probably try to make it up to the family by giving them the extra valuable 'manufacture defect' shoes. Non-autographed, but more rare!

[–] Kerred 3 points 5 months ago

That sounds like too much effort in his part. I feel like it's more like Krusty the Clown, where he was shown three images, pointed to one, and everyone else did all the work as fast and cheap as possible.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Trump's grifting his own assassination attempt. Has it even been a week? What the fuck? Is he fucking broke?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

Is he fucking broke?

Hasn't he been broke for years now?

[–] mPony 15 points 5 months ago

morally bankrupt

[–] SkyezOpen 3 points 5 months ago

Yeah. Dude leveraged buildings based off inflated value for loans to build buildings that he then leveraged to build....

Hardly any of his "worth" actually belongs to him.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (1 children)

On top of being tacky, insensitive, and greedy, this is also going to reinforce all the people who believe the assassination attempt was staged.

[–] cley_faye 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

At this point, if we use the age-old question of "who would benefit from the crime?", we'll get very weird results.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

The whole world

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Absolutely thought this was the onion.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

I thought I ate the onion...

[–] Leviathan 21 points 5 months ago

Everyone: Trump's gonna use this assassination attempt to sway voters!

Trump: buy my limited edition assassination sneakers!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

With these sneakers, you won't miss any special event!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Apparently they massage your little bone spurs

[–] NarrativeBear 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Probably won't make a killing

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Pretty tone deaf move.

[–] RememberTheApollo_ 6 points 5 months ago

Home shopping network for supply side Jesus fans. Damn, every time I think it can’t get dumber.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

ok. ok. surely they could not sink lower (makes sense from my recent chat history)

load more comments
view more: next ›