this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024

331 points (92.1% liked)

LinkedinLunatics

3590 readers

366 users here now

A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

331

Belching (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

79 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] MercuryGenisus 218 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

I would reject this pull request. Why is the indenting all over the place? Why is your keyword capitalisation all over the place? WHY YELLOW?!

Edit: the more I look at this the more it pisses me off. Wtf is going on with your kerning? Just random number and placement of spaces. Also, why is the table name in caps? Who does that? Select * is lazy. Do you really need every field about a girl? Really? Worst of all, not a limited request. I sware this is just the kind of thing that would return 30 million rows and brick the database for twenty seconds.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 months ago

You are now a Certified Rejector. Stay sharp, keep the wheel rolling.

[–] midori 16 points 4 months ago

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

You forgot some: Why is there no space after SELECT?

Why are boyfriend and smallwaist not questions like is_cute and is_crazy? Either all boils are with a verb or none.

Also why is smallwaist not in snake case? It should be small_waist (or better yet has_small_waist or even better waist = "small")

Also also boyfriend should be null not false, this would solve multiple issues.

And finally the only positive thing is the * itself, because selecting only body would be even worse. 🤣

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Shouldn't boyfriend be a reference to another table?

[–] ArtVandelay 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

BF has no referential integrity

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

That's (part of) why it should be a separate table to map the relation "Relationship". People can have more than one (polyamory, infidelity), and you could track fields like the start, end, status (e.g. flirting, dating, committed, engaged, married, ended) in there.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 184 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Guy with a belly asks for girl with a small waist. The half-assed ugly shirt will do it.

Instant woman repellant.

[–] jqubed 91 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I feel confident in assuming the guy who would wear this shirt seeking “girls” between the ages of 18 and 26 is himself no younger than 45.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ah I missed the age gap.

Would this guy qualify as an OUTER JOIN? (Sorry, SQL is not my native language)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

I sure wouldn't want him as an INNER JOIN

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

yesss I'm 42 so I can wear this shirt with pride!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

And married.

[–] [email protected] 144 points 4 months ago

At least he's wearing the red flag on the outside.

[–] barsquid 126 points 4 months ago (8 children)

One of the reasons women will find this repugnant is because they didn't normalize their tables. Should be boyfriend_id is null.

[–] aaaa 81 points 4 months ago (3 children)

For that matter, why is waist size a Boolean?

[–] [email protected] 68 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They allowed business logic to pollute the DB table, and "small waist" is a defined range in some confluence doc somewhere.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

And why is cuteness and craziness binary?

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Why is there a separate table for men and women in the first place? Shouldn't there be a person table with a many to many relationship with itself (because polyamory exists)?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

To that point a person table with a relationship table. So this way you can reference relationship between two or more persons within the relationship table and that could be joined to the person table if needed. I don't think you'd really be able to keep it within one table while exploring multiple relationships unless you're storing a list of ids that is interpreted outside of sql. Also a relationship table would allow exploring other types of relationships such as exes, love interests, coworkers, family, friends, etc

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Or, if you allow for polyamory and non-hetero relationships, you probably need a rel table (and some joins in the query).

Maybe GIRLS is just a view...

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] Aufschieber 74 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

ERROR: permission denied for "GIRLS"

[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago

I can already imagine a 40-something year old manager coming into work wearing this

[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The pallette for the syntax highlighter is horrid. Hardly readable.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

But it is highlighter colour!

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago

This is why we have codes of conduct.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Who says programmers don't have a sense of humor?

No one. It's just what you pretend people say to make yourself feel like some kind of special exception.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

me. I said it.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

Should be age > (my_age / 2) +7

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Why would there be an age and my_age column on the table GIRLS?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Good point.

Should be age > (@my_age / 2) +7

FTFOP - now my age is some value defined outside the immediate query.

More likely, the GIRLS would be a view of some table persons and you could query my_age from that table too.

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Because for each girl you meet, you might tell her a different age.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] olafurp 12 points 4 months ago

Found the programmer thread that criticises the data model instead of the t-shirt

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Or (my_age - 7) * 2 < age < (my_age / 2) +7`

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] [email protected] 36 points 4 months ago (2 children)

~~and smallwaist = true~~

and itty_bitty_waist = true

and round_thing_in_your_face = true

[–] KrankyKong 10 points 4 months ago

is_sprung = true

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago

shitty taste <> "humor"

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 29 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Gonna sound racist but deal with it.

I constantly meet asian developers (Singapore , India, China, etc) with this edgelord personality. They come to American conferences and meetups, say some wild sexist shit, and someone has to politely let them know not to.

Some backtrack. Some apologize. Some literally freeze up and pretend like it didn't happen.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago

We do still live in a bubble in the west. We're fighting for equity across genders and race, while some parts of the world are still questioning if sexual harassment against women at work is really that big of a deal.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Many of my guy coworkers have been (and are) sort of misogynistic, and homophobic (I'm in India). It makes me really uncomfortable. Might start reporting people to HR one day.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Just get to know HR first. They might be mysogynists themselves (even if they are female).

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

This is not funny and any man wearing this would probably not pass a similar test using any woman's criteria. If I saw someone wearing this my first thought would certainly not be "hey this is a guy with a great sense of humor and I would like to hang with him!".

[–] Thcdenton 19 points 4 months ago

[–] pixxelkick 16 points 4 months ago (6 children)

Most SQL Dbs use bits, so it would be WHERE field = 1

The entire shirt caused me 4d6 psychological damage.

load more comments (6 replies)

[–] BradleyUffner 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He forgot the "TOP 2" qualifier.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Heh. That reminds me of the feeling when I carefully place a LIMIT 100 and get 0 results...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

most infurating part of this is the mixing of cases

[–] JoeKrogan 8 points 4 months ago

🙄🤦‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

This is the most Indian shit I have seen this week.

load more comments